nerves

@00fear (3216)
United States
February 6, 2012 4:36pm CST
Hi, I just wanted to if anyone here ever had nerves for no reason at all...well from sudden thoughts. I woke up today with any normal feelings like any other days. I dream about my old house and my dad (not bad dream of the house nor him, oh and he still lives thanks to god). I went out with my mom and grandma and I started feeling strange about my mom. I never thought what it was. When we got to where we wanted to go, I suddenly thought of my cousin who passed away and imagine my uncle (his dad) crying about him. It lead me to thinking of my uncles, my other cousins, my grandparents (one of grandma and my other grandpa whose husband with my grandma I went with) and one of my friends who also passed away. I dream each of them in the casket already. Suddenly I started feeling strange. Depression? If depression only means sadness, no. If it doesn't always mean sadness, then maybe. I then started imagining my mom and dad passing away and also one of my brother (who's he's growing with drinking a lot). Almost like as if it was a sudden death. I thought maybe one of them is going to heaven anytime soon. I would always imagine of my cousin (and other of my family and friend) who passed away before and I would easily forget about about the death of theirs. Who has ever felt sad (like sensitive) for, like if someone is doing something he/she is enjoying then someone makes them stop and kicks that person out for no reason and you see the thing (or similar) he/she was doing? I felt like that whenever I would see my family member doing that they're enjoying and think in my head that someone would stop them. Well after it lead me to other weird feelings like every movement of the people in public did and what I would see outside (like stores, trees, etc). I had told my grandma I had felt like this and she and she said it was nerves (she said she felt like this of thinking death of her family but nothing would happen to them thanks to god)and maybe I feel like this because I'm dealing with growing up. She said nerves goes crazy when growing up. I thought I had got over it as I felt that when I was 17 and went away like almost when I was 18. I thought because it runs in my family because she feels like this, one of my uncles, and maybe me often. I felt like this 4 years ago. I felt this strange feeling that I don't remember if it was the same (as I don't care to even remember and think about the pass of my depression) but when I felt strange 4 years ago, it lead to even stranger thoughts that same night that I felt the death of me and my mom because she went out to when I felt sad (depression) the next day. Suddenly one of grandma passed away two, three weeks later (but then she had to deal with cancer before then). That's why I thought maybe there's going to be death of my family or friends soon (but then like the saying goes "god will never give signs of death"). I had gone a month without drinking soda or fast food (as I know soda will help out with feeling nerves). I would do that more before the month I started to stop. Has anyone felt like this? Does it always happens each part of growing up every few years or something and will go away soon? I hope it does. I hope someone has had the same feeling that can give me tips. Thanks
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