Am I being too idealistic? Or such person does not exist anymore nowadays?

Women who get really drunk and degrade themselves are a big turn off for me. I also really don't like women who put out too fast or had one night stands in the past. Which is all quite hypocritical since I'm just as bad, but I can't control the way I feel I suppose. I'm fine with smokers because I am one as well. To answer your question, if it's just the smoking then no, you don't set your standards too high. There are a lot of people from both genders that find smoking a big turn off.

I think in our own ways, we are all idealistic people. For as long as you have a standard you want to meet, no matter how low or high those standards are, you are creating an ideal person. I've said this before in your previous posts but finding a partner is something you can never fully prepare yourself for. Everyday, we meet people old and new alike, and sometimes we grow fondness of them. However, the standards we have set would serve as a block, if and when you find something on that person that isn't on your list. You start discouraging yourself to like her, you tell yourself you're turned off, and you try to convince yourself that that isn't the person for you. It is in that moment that we lose the opportunity to know that person more, see their strengths and identify their weaknesses, other than the ones that you have seen. Reading your post, I can't help but think that you are stereotyping women, and that all women in the city are liberated. That's fine if you think that most women are but you cannot deny that there are still women who are conservative. May be you just need to look further. And also, I would like to stress one important factor that we might be missing-- evolution of the generation. Maybe being liberated isn't such a bad thing, and maybe the conservative ones need to open up their mind a little bit more to meet other people at a level of understanding. I do understand that it is your preference that the girl you were hoping to have is a non-smoker and just a social drinker, that's my preference too. But if you cross them out early on, you let go of the opportunity to maybe meet someone that could be wonderful or right from you. This is why it is difficult when we set ideals. We find partners by process of elimination, and unfortunately, we eliminate people based on what we see. There isn't any "getting-to-know" part yet being explored. Don't get me wrong, I am guilty of this too. My take on it, keep an open mind. If you found someone who is aligned with your ideals (although quite frankly I find that boring, there's not much room to explore), then that's great. But if not, it's best to keep an open-mind and see past what the eyes can see. Who knows? Lightning could strike.

Personally many times I think the problem really stems for people are too quick sometimes to jump into a Relationship and judge others instead of getting to know someone first and then deciding if a Relationship would work from there. Many times it is true that there will be differences and such on how a person feels and reacts when it comes to relationships, life, etc. as we were all raised different. But there are people out there that are compatable and fall in Love every day and make it. Just need to find that Special someone for you.

You sound exactly like me, after being hurt a few times I decided the same thing, I don't drink or smoke either, I always thought of myself as unique amongst my friends, I had my apartment paid off by the the age of 30years of age, and I did it on my own, I can't imagine now being in a relationship where I have to make decisions thinking of someone else as well, I do what I want to do, but I might add to not be in a relationship it helps to have a few very good friends, but I class my self as very independent and completely in control of my life and that is the way I like it...Good luck with yours my friend.

Well there are all sorts of people out there. Just because you haven't been looking for what you want in a person, does not really mean that they are not out there. You just have not been looking in the absolutely right direction. People will have vices that are a turn off and naturally it would be foolish to change your outlook to broaden what you are looking for. Perhaps it is not your turn to find someone yet. Trying to force the issue is rather foolish but in the end, just because you have not found someone who fits what you want, does not mean the situation is hopeless. There are all sorts out there. In the end, you just got to keep looking and eventually something will pop up. Time will pass and there will be something that is going to come up for sure. Still some people will have those habits that are a turn off and it is frustrating when they are around every corner.

There is nothing wrong to have preferences in choosing your partner in life. Of course you want someone with you that the both of you agree with each other. You just like the woman who has sense of decency that you and other people will respect. It is normal to choose a person the way that you are used to it. Of course if you are going to choose a person that is not the same where you are used to chances are you are there will be a lot of adjustment which may you find hard to work out about it. But if it happens that you were fallen in love to a girl that is liberated then make sure that you will never regret and you have the reason why you love this liberated woman. You will never find it out until you are not yet fallen in love.

Each adult could write a list of the first names of his or her ex girlfriends or ex boyfriends. Maybe the one the person dated at age sixteen might seem really wonderful and lovely. The person might be looking through rose tinted glasses. There would be advantages and disadvantages to whichever ex girlfriend of ex boyfriend ever thought of. As a person gets older he or she becomes more idealistic. He or she will know exactly what he or she wants but there won't be many people around that are good enough quite typically. You need a conservative and not a liberal type of person. You would not be able to date a smoker. Maybe your soul mate is out there. Good luck finding her.

hi cyclopaz oh I am sure there are still women that do not smoke of drink,just has to be a bit of a chore finding them. I am also an idealist in my thoughts that smoking does nothing but make people sick eventually. I loved my husband and he was a good man but he smoked three packs a day and they killed his heart finally. Keep your ideals as there are women who do not drink and do not smoke either. I do not think your standards are too high and I hope you will meet Miss right one day soon who does not think your standards are too high either.

hello cyclopz, running away to another place because you had a rough time in a relationship will not solve the problem.You may change the location but can you relocate your mind? I mean your mind is always with you and so are your thoughts and you can never get rid of them since they are a part of you.There are ways to control your thoughts and to discipline them and that is through the practice of Yoga and yogic meditation.I have been doing this since the last 20 years and am mentally very peaceful.I do not consider women who drink and smoke to be called as liberated.As a matter of fact they have got themselves bonded and their addiction will prove to be their undoing later.It is good that you don`t drink or smoke, i too don`t do those things.Its not that i am conservative, i am liberal too but i know what is good or bad for me.Maybe one day you will meet somebody who shares your thoughts and who can be your ideal partner in life.There is always hope,my friend.

I know how it feel about having broken a relationship. For the time being you can stay away from it and enjoy your life. Happy mylotting.

Setting up your standards for a future ideal partner gives you an adequate perspective of what you want in life, but on the contrary, this could be confusing as when the heart starts beating contraindicating those standards, then you would realize a conflict between heart and mind, but being truly happy dictates following your heart.

I don't think your standards are too high. There are many women like this, but you probably don't know where to find them, as they might have their own circles of friends who don't make fun of them for not smoking and drinking. When you wrote about women being deliberated, you meant they take care of themselves by having a job... drinking and smoking can be a big turn off for both genders I think. These things can ruin a relationship. I would say don't give up your ideals.