I feel betrayed by my best friend.
By bulastika
@bulastika (5966)
Philippines
March 8, 2012 2:26am CST
I have a best friends since college. We been close so close that many things she is my girlfriend. Also her friends in high school become my friend also. So that's how close we are.
When she graduate and go abroad we still constantly talk to each other until she return to the our country and we almost see each other twice or thrice a week. Then she landed a job and we only sees each other once a week.
After three months she introduce to me her bf. and I'm happy for her. and some how we three joined going out for two months. then suddenly they become elusive and I understand since they want to go out alone.. Until a year has pass and our only communication is by chat. And its maybe once or twice a month only.
A week ago I told her why she don't reply to my sms anymore and she says here cellphone is broken and she can't afford to buy one as she don't have a job anymore.
So what I did is that I even tell her that I will buy her cellphone and same time told her that her bf should buy her a cellphone. But that just half joke same time I feel that if I can buy her a cellphone because she is my friend for 10 years then why can't her bf buy her?
And since our communication is only base on chat I waited for her to go online. while I'm browsing I visited her facebook that is not maintain for a long time. Her bf is not added my in FB but I few her bf profile in her friend list and I notice that her bf status is married and they have a baby.
My GOD!.. my best friend for 10 years got married and have a baby and she don't even tell me. Even though we chat once or twice a month.
I really feel hurt simply because I been even thoughtful enough to buy her cp simply because she say her cp is broken.
But she never told me that her silence means she is trying to widen the gab between us. I really feel betrayed that she never told me that she is pregnant and she has a baby and she get married.
2 people like this
12 responses
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
Nothing going to be okay in my part. But I guess I have to let go. That's what life is all about. I have so many plenty opportunities. In ten years of being a friend to her. So I think she deserve to be good with her bf and baby right now.
@beenice2 (2967)
• Sackville, New Brunswick
8 Mar 12
I think that even if you thought you were that close to her doesn't mean that she was in love like were. For her you were just a close friend until she found the " guy that she loves. I'm sorry for you because looks like she didn't tell you everything, and yes I would have been really cheated kind of, but she didn't love you that what. Now well you can still have a life you know, please do not give up.
1 person likes this
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
I don't. I'm okay now. Its more stress because I don't have a job and maybe I'm just over acting. Or maybe its my pride that I can't find a job a gf and my bestfriend already have a baby. I feel that I'm not achieving anything at all. That's maybe the reason.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
I meet her bf.. she introduce him to me.But she never told me that she is pregnant. maybe that's the reason why for two months I'm still good to see her and also her bf as her tummy is not that big yet. After that we don't see each other again. and only find out that she has a baby when I lurk at her bf fb.
Her bf is not a married man. and right now my understanding is that they are living together but not married.
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
2 May 12
Woah! what is this all about? Your best friend doesn't tell you she got pregnant and have a baby. How far are you from her now? Do you know where they are living? Or are you sure that she was still in a relationship wuth that guy? Are you sure she's the one the guy married? There can be many reasons or questions needed to be asked first before concluding my friend.
Well, if she was still with that guy and been married and had a child, well maybe she has reasons why she didn't tell you. Or she's just wanting that gap between the two of you. She doesn't want to be close to other guys again, specially you her bestfriend. There can be so many reasons why people do such things with their lives.
I hope you got to ask her all of your questions. For you to be enlightened.
It's been two months now since you started this topic, how was it? Have you contacted her again? Maybe she's not the one who's using that fb anymore. Or maybe the guy you saw in fb is not the right guy she was with. Too many questions need to be answered... that's life!
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
12 May 12
She been my friend for 10 years. No. We do talk sometimes and see each other sometimes. But in four or five months we don't see each other. She say she is busy and I know she has bf so I don't mind not seeing her. But I'm just surprise that she give birth and the baby is already three months old when I learn that she has a baby.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
22 May 12
Yeah after the baby is three months old she told me that she has a baby.
I don't know what her reason is. But right now I don't talk to her anymore.
Beside she already has a family I guess. That's really want happen when you have a family. You become distant to your friends as you concentrate with your family now.
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
12 May 12
Hmmm.are you really sure she has been pregnanat and still with that bf of his til now? oh, well, maybe she hasn't much time on sharing things with you. I guess she is thinking too much other things that's why she forgot to mention that she already had a child...who knows, right?
@madonna2012 (62)
• Philippines
8 Mar 12
hi,
my only advice is for you to be patient and wait for your friend to tell you the reason why she did what she did. just let her know that you will remain a friend to her. as what I observe from your message she really is busy with her kids and husband and sometimes she will have no time for herself. in time she will remember and will contact you.
try also to find new friend. I wish you luck and happiness.
happy mylotter.
1 person likes this
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
Thanks. that's true. I need to find a new friend. But right now what I need is a social life and a job. I don't have a job for five years and I think that's the reason why until now I don't social life. so for me to fix this I need a job first.
@Sindrum91 (254)
• United States
8 Mar 12
:( I'm sorry you feel sad friend. I would be too. Maybe there is a reason for her not being so close with you anymore. Hopefully a reason, other than her boyfriend. Maybe eventually you get to see her, and she tells you all about why she hasn't been so close. I'm sure you'll get all the answers one day. Be patient. Some things aren't always what they seem. Good luck to you, and I hope you and your best friend remain best friends and work things out.
1 person likes this
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
That's true. anyway I just receive an email that I can visit her house anytime and check her baby. And as I understood it they are not married yet. they only have a baby. Also she want me to be her baby's god father. But I refuse. I realize that I love her. But theirs nothing I can do right now because she already has a baby. I only realize that when I'm hoping that its suppose to be our baby. And I can't stand being a godfather.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Mar 12
hi bulastika if she was still your friend she would not have kept her marriage and child a secret so wait her out b ut still do not do any more favors for her. real friends do not hurt one other by not sharing their lives with each other.make other friends and start writing her off as she has ruined a great friendship.I do not think
she will be ever again a good friend but am not sure what the reason is and maybe she will tell you and again she probably will not.
those are what that friend did to you
those are what that friend did to you@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
She already admitted that she has a baby when I confronted her in an email. But in my understanding she is not married yet. Although we talk only in email. She say that I can visit her anytime. problem is that her house is 100 miles away from us. And since she don't have a phone that I can call when I will go its seems impossible to visit her unless she has a phone or we can chat to schedule the day that I can visit.
@hgwyneth (120)
• Philippines
16 Mar 12
Hi bulastika, don't feel sad. It's just that perhaps your bestfriend has different life already. Her husband might have different views on your relationship with her as bestfriend. I knew the feeling. You've given her the importance of a real bestfriend but she didn't do the same way. I mean she never reciprocated it. Don't get mad. Instead understand her. Have your life on your own now without her.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
20 Mar 12
I just changed my mind. She has a family now. I don't want to attached myself to her anymore. Since theirs many who advice me that she already married and our closeness give heavy burden to their relationship as she always compare me to her husband and I think that's the reason why her husband want some space. And I guess its because she know me more than her husband who she only knows for a year. So I just leave a message in here email that I can't visit her and her baby anymore. Beside she has two boys already her baby and her husband. So she don't need me anymore.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
I don't feel sad. I feel mad. But that's two weeks ago. Right now I'm happy for her and for her husband. Anyway. I'm going to see her soon as she want me to see her baby and what me to be her's baby godfather.
@syoti20 (5293)
• Philippines
18 Mar 12
This is horrible! I agree with you but since I always look for the better side of each mistake I will re-think and don't make any negative words against your thought maybe she has a valid reason. It maybe a invalid for you but for her it wa valid.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
If a person kill his neighbor because he thinks its valid does not make its right.
I'm not saying that I'm right or I'm wrong. but the action speak for itself. do you think what she did is normal behavior in any circumstance? Or you don't think her action is not out of ordinary?
@luisaR (452)
• Philippines
9 Mar 12
i understand your feeling. but u know even bestfriends will come to a point in their life that it is not what it was like before. She has her own life and she gain many new friends along the way. You think she is still your bestfriend but I guess she doesn't think that way anymore... Analyze everything-when you were together with her bf getting along going out, did you notice that maybe your being to nice with her bf? Are you a natural sweet person to most people? Some people is not aware that they act way beyond what their supposed attitude should be. My bestfriend from 2 decades was very sweet with few of my ex bf that I introduced with her, so sweet that I saw it as flirting instead of just being nice. Maybe your bestfriend misunderstood something on your behavior that she got cold with you among other reasons that might be. Analyze it.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
I do agree. life most go on. she has her own life and I still need to find mind. theirs also other reasons. why she don't tell me. she get pregnant and her mom don't know it. she and her bf has no money so they have no choice but to tell her mom. her bf has no parents and no saving and her mom is very furious. so I think that's why she hide it from me.
@Vvance (280)
• United States
18 Mar 12
There is definitely a reason. A friendship that lasted for 10 years just doesn't disappear like that. Maybe she's busy taking care of the baby. But, it is curious how she never told you about the marriage or the baby. Maybe, she was waiting for a certain moment to surprise you with the news or something. Don't jump to the worst conclusion, she can't avoid you for no reason. So, don't get sad and feel like she betrayed you. She might reveal it to you when she feels the time is right, probably! :)
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
Why do she need to surprise me? lols. Anyway that's a two weeks issue already. Tomorrow I will going to visit her to see her baby. I'm happy for her hope theirs no drama talk or what so ever. lols. I'm how how afraid to visit her and see her holding her baby. since I'm still some how shock. lols.
@sherrybelle (707)
• United States
9 Mar 12
I think everything changed for your friend and it's time for you to connect with other friends.
Even if you were best friends...it's important for you...to move on and let her live her own life.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
I know. I just can't believe that now that she has a baby I realize that I fall in love with my best friend and I don't know it until she is gone. I'm just so secure when I'm with her that when she say she has a bf I think she is joking and a year ago she introduce her bf and I accept it and happy for her. But after a year without seeing her and heard that she has a baby already. I realize that I want to be the father of her baby.
