27 hour flight and $900, just to meet for 1 day?!?
By Cody Stewart
@CODYMAC (1356)
San Diego, California
March 8, 2012 9:03pm CST
So, I have been "seeing" and writing to a lady from the Philippines and it has been getting pretty serious. I wanted to let her know that I cared and she has her reservations. I understand fully because the last long distance relationship she was in ended because the guy decided to go back to his ex. (Here in the US)
She is very serious and wanted to let me know that if someone was really interested in her, they would go to the Philippines, and see her. Meaning that they would go there, just to meet her, and that would prove to her that they cared. Then, she would rearrange her life, and move to the United States, sacrificing all where she is from, to go start a new life.
She has never asked me for money or anything at all, but it is asking a lot to prove this. I do feel like just jumping on the next flight, (which is $900 round trip), and going. But, I just dont know what to think. I know that this may seem sudden for some of the mylotters here who sort of know me, but I have been in contact with her for a while. I really care about her, and I want to do this but is there anything else I could do to prove it to her? What should I do? I really need your help. Thank you all... :)
1 person likes this
7 responses
@andy4pinoy (298)
• Philippines
9 Mar 12
Well if she is really the ONE, then go ahead spare your precious time and your $900 to see her personally in the Philippines. If you will see her and your feeling would still be the same, she might really be the one for you.
But as of the moment it is just like looking into your own feeling and examine what might happen if you will visit her, probably study more about the Philippines, its culture and the family values so that you will be prepared to meet her and her family as well.
I am a Filipino but I don't actually encourage inter racial marriages. But globally speaking this is what happen now. If you could have spend more time to know her well, study the very details of her messages and dig deeper about her personality it is would help you more before going to the Philippines to meet her.
Good luck!
2 people like this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
10 Mar 12
Thank you for your response. I am happy to hear all views of the issue I am facing. I also respect your views and agree. I too did not agree with interracial marriages, and these things just happen. I did not expect it to get to where it is, but it has. It has been very interesting to say the least. I will keep your advice in mind and think about it. You have given me things to think about. Thank you. :) :)
@dazzledlady (1618)
• Philippines
9 Mar 12
Hi Codymac, I am from Philippines too and I completely understand the lady's sentiment. We like to believe in long term relationship. And yes going to Philippines and meeting her personally is the sacrifice you have to make, to make things official. Is she the one? Think about it because $900 is not easy money. And I would advise you to extend your stay and get to know the lady better and at the same time while you are here might as well enjoy the Philippines. You know that different countries have different cultures. And here in the Philippines if you marry the girl you are also marrying her family. So better make sure you can stand the in laws :D Because whether you like it or not they will be influential to the lady and would have possible affect on how the relationship goes. Good luck I hope you'll have peace of mind to make a wise decision.
2 people like this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
9 Mar 12
Thank you for your comment. Seriously. I had no idea about being married to the family. It is ok with me because I am big with family, and if they think something is best for her, I will not stand in the way. You are right that it is not easy money, but I am VERY willing to just go. She said that she is willing to sacrifice, and I am too. I will think about all of this like never before, so I thank you SOOO much for this. Staying a little longer is also a good plan. I have a few days free coming up, and I will think hard about it the next few days. Have a great day... :) :)
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
9 Mar 12
i think most of us girls would think of it that way, that it is important that you have to see each other in order to actually say that you love each other. feelings change over time for people who regularly have time for each other in flesh what more if you are in a long distance relationship. I think if you are not willing to spend for the amount just to see her, maybe ask her to meet you half way, probably you both can go on a vacation and get to know each other and date when you meet. it does not have to be limited to a day only.
I know some couples who have met over the net and they are married now and towards that, they of course have to meet each other, and it is almost always the case where the man would come and see the lady not the other way around.
2 people like this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
9 Mar 12
Hello, and thank you for your comment. I am excited about this opportunity, so thank you for this. It gives me alot to think about. I think I will extend it a few days. I know what you are saying, I need to "buck up" and just go to prove it to her. Thank you so much for this. I think that you have given me the encouragement that I needed... I hope that you have a great day. :) :)
@nitinshukla (278)
• United Kingdom
9 Mar 12
I did not spend as much but I did spend almost as much in 1 day when I went to see the girl I had found on an online dating site. I stayed less than 24 hours in her city but tell you what, it was totally worth it. If everything goes well, I might end up getting married to her soon.
The point I am trying to make here buddy is that if you really care about her and are serious about your relationship, petty things such as monetary deterrents should not come in between. However, it does not mean you act impulsively and blow up all your hard saved money on enterprising expeditions. Although, i am of the belief that if someone loves you truly, they won't put forward any terms and conditions in front of you and would never ever ask you to prove your love by setting tasks for you . It then doesn't remain love and becomes more of a deal. But still, if she just wants to see you or be with you and you can afford it without burning a huge hole in your pocket, I'd say"Pack your bags and start...Love is Calling"!!
The point I am trying to make here buddy is that if you really care about her and are serious about your relationship, petty things such as monetary deterrents should not come in between. However, it does not mean you act impulsively and blow up all your hard saved money on enterprising expeditions. Although, i am of the belief that if someone loves you truly, they won't put forward any terms and conditions in front of you and would never ever ask you to prove your love by setting tasks for you . It then doesn't remain love and becomes more of a deal. But still, if she just wants to see you or be with you and you can afford it without burning a huge hole in your pocket, I'd say"Pack your bags and start...Love is Calling"!!1 person likes this
@nitinshukla (278)
• United Kingdom
10 Mar 12
Thanks Cody... I am glad I could help if even in a small way ...All the best for a cross-continental trip!!Will hope you come back happier than you were when you left.Way to go man!!
...All the best for a cross-continental trip!!Will hope you come back happier than you were when you left.Way to go man!!@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
10 Mar 12
Great post. I have the same thought. I agree with you. I will be on vacation and I will see awesome things, and I will see a new culture. It really is totally worth it. I dont have the money to burn but I am willing to show her how much I really care. It is really worth it now that I think more about it. Even for one day. Great. I will see about how much it really costs for a round trip. Thanks. You made it well worth it. Have a great day. :) :)
@luisaR (452)
• Philippines
9 Mar 12
go get your ticket and fly meet her here. So you would know if you two will really get along. consider visiting her as a vacation and reward for yourself. Who knows it'll be fun and you'll experience something new while here. that is the only thing that you can prove you are sincere about here, nothing else. i was with the situation once,I know. have a safe trip. ;-)
1 person likes this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
10 Mar 12
I think that you have a great idea. I thank you for your input and will think about all that has been posted. I really do have a lot to think about. I really should just go, and have fun.... Thanks again for your post. Have a great day. :) :)
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
9 Mar 12
I think it is normal for the girls to make sure how serious you are. But you can just tell her to trust you and wait if she is willing to wait for you at the right time coz I think meeting her for a day is not enough. I think she will understand, or try to send her flowers.. hehehehehe
1 person likes this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
10 Mar 12
I know that she is very serious, and so am I. I guess that her ex never showed up, and just promised her he would. I really do understand how it is with her. Yet, I did ask her to wait for me, and she said that she was very patient. I am happy for that. I too am patient, but anxious as well I know you understand. I have much to do and think about. Thanks for your comment. Have a great day. :) :)
@prinzcy (32322)
• Malaysia
9 Mar 12
If you really love her and she's the same to you, then make up your mind and go. Because if your feeling is real, then she really worth the trip, even for one day.
I understand her feeling of insecurity. I've been in a long distance relationship for months now. It's a good thing we're in the same country so he does come back to see me once in awhile. But you and her are in different country, miles away.
1 person likes this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
10 Mar 12
Yes, prinzcy. It is just as you say. I really do care alot for her, and she does know this, and she says that it is the same for her. Long distance relationships are very hard to maintain, and we both agree that waiting is the best thing. I just think that 1 day is not long enough. I may just go for a short week and really look at things. Thanks again for your response. Have a great day. :) :)
