Teach the children to be close and still be away
By ravisivan
@ravisivan (14082)
India
March 9, 2012 6:38pm CST
a distant relative of mine passed away yesterday afternoon suddenly. She was 80 year old and was having heart ailment for some time. However it is a loss for the family members. this made me realise that we want our children to be affectionate to elders -but that may affect them when elders die.
So we must train our children in such a way '' they should show affection to elders, young ones and friends --- but be mentally detached to bear the sudden loss of close relatives, friends and others. Instead it is better children remain not close to others and function as machines.
Is it possible? I am slightly disturbed today and I think it will take a day or two to get over this .
pl post your experience/comments.,
2 people like this
3 responses
@sswallace21 (1824)
• United States
12 Mar 12
Yes, this is very disturbing. I'm just not sure how it can be rectified. I know that if I treated people poorly when I was a child, I would of received a punishment that fit the crime. Kids today seem to rarely get punished and it shows. What a sad world we live in.
@ravisivan (14082)
• India
8 Jun 12
sswallace
it is for us to teach our children properly and teach ourselves so that we are saved of tension.
@KatRyougi (1)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
personally, i don't think that's possible since showing affection can create such a bond that makes you really attached to someone like a friend or a relative. it's not really easy to move on well, except if the person if really numb. i've got experiences and the funny thing is, the lest time i lost a loved one was last year and that was due to miscarriage. she was just a few weeks old, i wasn't really aware of her until i realized that i am pregnant with my first child. i wasn't that attached to her but it really does hurt a lot.
@ravisivan (14082)
• India
10 Mar 12
welcome to mylot. This is your first response. I agree with you that it is difficult to adopt the strategy suggested by me.
I am envisaging a situation --where grand children stay far away from the place of residence of grand mother-- problems grand children have to bear -- is high,
@dazzledlady (1618)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
Sorry to hear about your loss. I was never close to any of my relatives and have not experience someone really close to me die. God forbid. So I dont know how much hurt it will cause a person. As for your proposal to teach them to be affectionate and still show some distance is every hard to do especially for children. I do not think it is possible. When the children loves, they love with their whole heart. There is still the innocence and purity in their heart that has not been tarnish if you live long enough in this world. I think it is alright to teach them to be affectionate, people die and they also have to learn that if they want to survive in this world. I think it is better to give your all than regret it later. Human as we are, we are capable of coping and I think they can cope also because the elders will be there to guide him/her.
@ravisivan (14082)
• India
10 Mar 12
Your view is also simialr to that of many others who feel that it is not posisble to feel detached and children love whole heartedly.
It is good that you have not experienced the agony because you were not that close to any one.
