Lazy and Selfish Husband.. Can you still take it?

Perhaps clouds doesn't have any children and that is why she can consider leaving her husband. When there's children in the picture it would be a little more difficult. And for a husband that doesn't want to look for a job, having children should be the last thing on his mind.

I told him that too. I found my job online. And he told me" that's interesting, look for a job online for me and I'll do it... Told him he needs to do it himself it would be easier for both me and him but he said he will and he is asking his DOTA friends for opportunities too. Wow, nice reasoning. Really sensible way of finding a job.

Ouch! Where did you found such kind of husband that seems no sense of getting any jobs? I don't know what to think about your husband but he's really lucky that having a wife like you. If I am your husband I don't want to disappoint you that much but very thankful because you help... Well, if he's really makes some alibi and really do not have plan to improve or challenge his life. Try to ask again if what really his plan with his life? Because the time is running and man didn't come being younger but older as the days pass by. There is a limit of everything...it's not bad to play such online game but he must have the responsibility even if this is a little. How if you have children what happen to your kids?

then it is his mom who pays for his games? If so then Let him play. In the meantime set up a separate bank/ savings account. Start saving. Then when you have enough for a place , go get it and file for divorce.Then while baby boy plays his game one day, just move out!

I already suggested everything to him but he never tried any of those. He never ask me when I forget to remind him so he isn't really interested at all. Soon, I will surely make a decision, I actually already did and I am just waiting for the right time. That involves money, a place to stay and etc.. Thanks for the advice.

Yes. We had a talk last night. Well he was just listening the whole time. I said Sorry cause the next words that's gonna come out of my mouth will be offensive but I guess this is the best things I should do right now. Told him it will be the last offensive words he will hear from me if he thinks it is really offensive. I don't want to offend but he tends to be so sensitive when I keep on reminding him about getting a job. So I said sorry but I have to say these words and if you take it the wrong way then I can't do anything. I just want to have a real mature conversation and not be too selfish to think I am looking down on him. I told him I am really serious about making the marriage work and really serious about moving forward, to struggle to attain our goals ..which I think, right now, is only MY GOALS cause I think he forgot about what we dreamed about before already. He got drowned into this childish nonsense games and he doesn't even show any signs of putting himself back on track again. I guess the reason I'm like this now, because I am on the verge of giving up and getting tired already. This is getting very old already and I am not putting up with all these craps anymore. He was only silent and he never gave any response until now. WAITING....

Thanks. I tried talking to him several times before and recently but it always ends up in a tense conversation. I am always stressed with work and finances that sometimes I get tired at having these kind of conversation. I'll try to find another way to make this relationship work. I'll talk to him again and hopefully this time he listens. Thanks for your advice.

You are very welcome my friend. I hope your husband will change already. That is such a bad attitude. He must think of his family now.

This is not a hasty marriage. We have been together for 5 years before we got married. He is a nice person to start with. He is my first boyfriend. We have lots of plans before. He was responsible before. He used to worry about all the bills before when I was still going to school to finish college and he took care of our daughter that time. He even sold "ice" to people before just to save money to pay the bills. He was different, until I got a job. He changed when he started having his own laptop, we had an internet connection and when he didn't have to worry about money anymore. This is really sad cause I always admired him for being what he was before but he gradually changed. He is so relaxed now. It's like he is enjoying the time of his life and I am suffering. Thanks for the response.

Thanks for the clarification. If I were you then I would have the internet connection terminated. If he wants it back then have him get his personal account. Nonetheless, I have this feeling that your husband could be feeling insecure with you and does not feel anymore important since you have a salary that could support the whole family. His behavior could be his way to escape this reality. I suggest that you see a family counselor or a psychologist who can bring back his self-esteem.

You know what, that's exactly what I think too. I even told him that. Told him I am not your mom and I only have one child not two. Please act as a husband and father. You're daughter is not getting any younger and I would like us to move forward and not move backwards. But it seems like I am alone now. I am struggling alone and I have no one to lean on to anymore. I want to be happy and I am desperate now.

in order to be happy, you have to get rid of the problem, and the only way to get rid of the problem is to get rid of him, that way the problem will be solved, it seems he is not listening to you, so you either stay in a sad and unhappy marriage with a freeloading lazy husband or break free and make a life for yourself, then you'll be happy again, i wouldn't think twice about wanting my freedom, i would have him out of the house in a heartbeat

Thank you I really appreciate your response. It can really be frustrating sometimes and even though you want to understand and be as nice as possible, there are really times that you can't stand it anymore.

Hi! No he wasn't like that when we got married. He was really striving hard to save money and earn money. It was when I got a full time job that he suddenly became so comfortable about our situation and I think he felt he doesn't have to worry a lot because my income can support the our small family. I think he is taking everything for granted and I feel bad about it. I don't want to end up in a situation that we will both regret. I want the both of us to have jobs so we can save up money for our future. I really need to talk to him again.

Believe me I tried a lot of times to make this work. I try not to pressure him too much on getting a job cause I know how hard it is to get a job in this economy. But I hoped he is somehow looked for a way to get one, at least he tried but I never saw him try. He's making this bad economy thing a reason to cover up his being lazy. But I'll try to assess myself more and see If this decision I have in mind right now is the best. I know Marriage will always have it's ups and downs. Thanks for the response.

That's a good way to response otherwise the situation might get worse if nasty words are exchanged and something that started as a small thing can blow up into something big.

Exactly. I can stand it cause I am still trying to understand and I am still trying to make it work. It is really hard building a family by yourself. I feel alone. I think it is almost the same feeling as being a single parent.