How many times does he have to cheat, before she leaves him??
By success1625
@success1625 (533)
Trinidad And Tobago
March 10, 2012 4:45pm CST
So my sister and I were discussing this scenario today.
A friend of the family is married to her husband for the last ten years or so,while the number of years they've been together can be celebrated, he has cheated on her with other women during those years but most recently his actions have gotten aggressive and a whole lot erratic.
He abuses her verbally, he now flaunts his current affair in her face GIVING her a reason as to why he's cheating on her, and recently within earshot of our hearing (she was visiting my parents home at the time)hurled verbal assaults at her asking her " why yuh doh file divorce papers and get out meh house".
The clincher they have an 8 year old daughter who is privy to all the arguments between them and has now taken to telling her father that she doesn't know why he gets on like that with her mommy because he doesn't do anything to help out at home. Yes an 8 year old.
So my sister got to wondering why a woman would allow her to be subjected to such atrocious behavior from a man who clearly doesn't even like this woman.
Would you leave?? Would you stay??
They've tried counselling no dice. The thing is, you really can't help it, if the heart wants what it wants, can ya, well at least on her end 'cause she's willing to battle it out for her marriage too ba he doesn't feel the same way after ten years..sigh.
3 people like this
13 responses
@sephricel26 (4)
•
11 Mar 12
hello, thanks for this discussion... maybe she's not leaving her husband not only because of the financial thing but because of the heart thing. she truly love the guy and she was hoping that someday he's gonna change and she's waiting for that day to come. so when that time has come they will live happily ever after...
1 person likes this
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
11 Mar 12
Well sweetheart for her and her child's sake I hope that he does change and that they'll live happily ever after, I also read earlier that you're experiencing the same situation, well I hope things work out for you as well. Welcome to mylot :)
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
11 Mar 12
I think that some people hold on to the hope that a cheating person will change. They may love them so much that they can't imagine the other person in their life. Nobody wants to think the one they love will be unfaitthful. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can give up even if the one we love betrays us.@sephricel26 (4)
•
11 Mar 12
i aggree with you, because i actually experiencing this situation. and i think what you say is right... i'm not giving up that someday he'll gonna change.
1 person likes this
@fantasticbabe (981)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
the best solution is to get a divorce and get out from the abusive situation. that kind of environment is not good for children by watching their parents daily with constant fighting of their own differences. the better way for a child to grow as emotionally mature comes from a loving family. the wife should need to balance all her priority in life and not just becoming dependent to a husband. nowadays, most women learn a lot from experiences and make an effort to enrich self so she would never get dependent for a long time to a man and be happy to become independent. though, at the start it is difficult to raise a child alone but as the law dictates the separated husband still need to give financial support.
1 person likes this
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
She had been cheated for all those years they have been together and still she prefers to be with him. Doesn't she thought she had suffered enough. Let's say she had her reasons but the sanctity of their marriage had been taken for granted by this man. She should leave her to ease her sufferings.
1 person likes this
@marimarj23 (124)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
I think it is time to leave girl. If a person does not love you anymore then set that person free. You are just wasting your time and everyday you can feel the betrayal. I know at first it is hard to let go, especially if you really love the person and you have a child to consider. But we should be able to weigh things and let our own welfare be considered. Been like that for two years though I have felt the betrayal and pains everyday, at first I was hurt and does not let go because I loved him so much and we have a son. But later, I know I cannot let the person stay if there is no love and respect in our house, it is better to get hurt that much for many months than forever stay in a hell situation. I may not say I am 100 percent happy but I'm happier without the pains. I might feel the pains sometimes but its not the same before. I know I'm much better today and will even be better in the future.
@mariab2000 (740)
• Canada
11 Mar 12
Personally I would never endure my partner cheating on me and would enver tolerate this abusive behavior. I would leave him right away. However, some women do continue through these types of relationships which might be because they are too dependent on their partner and can't imagine living by themselves or to raise a child as a single parent. Cheating is something that I would never forgive but I guess for this friend of yours it is a little bit more complicated because they have a daughter together and she wants the best for her child...
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
10 Mar 12
Personally I would leave but some women stay during all this, I guess they just must love them so much that it is better to stay than live life without them but then the only other reason to stay would the financial side of things that they just can't afford to go...not sure why...
@Cherish14 (2693)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
in my opinion, i think she should leave him already. if she couldn't before, then i think this is more than enough reason why she should leave him already. i know it is hard for women to abandon their husbands when things like this happen because they think about the Sacrament of Matrimony, they think about their children's future, their feelings because they love them so much and they can't jst throw away years of being with each other and also, they think about what other people would say if that happens.
i know how that goes because that's the same as what's going on here. my father would even hit my mom and i hate it so much that they are still together right now. but i admit that it is not at as bad as before. but still...
1 person likes this
@jhuddith (222)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
I believe that she should consider her marriage as over. She should find a lawyer, find someone to talk to and she should go on with her life. Her husband is not worth anymore of her energy so the only solution to this is for her to walk away. Her husband hurts her a lot and doesn't care about her anymore, he is in the thrall of lust and he doesn't try to even hide it. If she leaves him, she will have self-respect and of course initially pain but that will go... She must stand up for herself and should focus on her child as she did not choose this situation.
@cleverland (150)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
Apparently, with the way he's been acting, the guy wants her to leave. He clearly doesn't know how to be a family man and how to be a human. It's just a shame. Plus, his heart is in his d*ick. Or his d*ick is way bigger than his brain..The girl has done her best to work their marriage and family while he's busy sticking his sh*t to different girls. I'd say things like this to him. I'd pour a cold water to that pea sized brain and hope it would function normally.
Flip the person. he deserved it. Teach him a lesson by slamming everything to his face. Whatever his reason for not wanting you is not enough for him as a MAN to do what he's doing. He's not man enough. He could have handle it differently as you would if you were in his shoes.
This is how I speak... Sorry for the language..No offense, no offense... I'm just sharing my opinions. Peace:)
@katcha_13 (34)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
i experienced this once, my boyfriend cheated when we were still 2 months. i ended our relationship but days passed he went back to say sorry and tried to win me back. at first i ignore him but later i saw his effort, actually he changed. now were 1 year and 8 months and still counting. =) now that were still together he keeps on telling me how sorry he was. its better to forget and forgive.
1 person likes this
