i'm a human being

20 years is a lot of time I understand you if you can't forget what he did to you. try to find counselling or a group that can help you to heal faster. if you're a Christian, try to join a bible reading group and always speak to God of your concerns. lift up to him your worries and the bad memories that you had with your past relationship. i can't advice you to start a new relationship again since it will only make matters worst. try to not think of it or go out with family and friends. they will help you for sure with what you have encountered. i congratulate you for ending a violent relationship though it took you so many years. you're a free woman now. God bless you and take care of yourself.

How long has it been since you got out of the marriage? It takes quite some time for memories to fade, both good and bad. You may never be entirely free of them, but they will fade and become less unsettling as time goes on. You'll forget about them for weeks or months or even years at a time eventually. I know... I've been there. I'm glad you got away. It isn't easy.