Well you still going to accept your ex back even if she has a child?
By bulastika
@bulastika (5966)
Philippines
March 20, 2012 4:28am CST
Well you still going to accept back and be a step mom or step dad to your ex-gf or ex-bf child? Lets just say you still love your ex and your ex still love you but problem is that your ex has a child with other other man or woman and want to return to you will you still accept?
Or even though you love your ex you going to let go and move on? Or you will going to accept him or her back minus the child?
8 responses
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
21 Mar 12
That's true. But lets concentrate on the child. Theirs no more problem with the issue of the ex. But how about the child? Are you willing to spend money for that child? Because what if the biological parent of the child don't give financial needs of the child what then? Or are you willing to see the biological parent if theirs a join custody of the child? And some other issues about the child as well?
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
22 Mar 12
Theirs no question about accepting the child. But its not as simple as that. As I point out earlier. Its not just about you, your ex and his or her child. Its also about the real father or mother of the child. You accept your ex back, good, you accept the child also, better. Now how about the entanglement? The real father of the child or the real mother? You can't just dismiss that right? how about the biological relative of the child? I mean your not only dealing with your ex biological family. Your also dealing if your ex child biological family also and their right to see the child also. Get what I'm trying to draw in here?
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
21 Mar 12
Part of the acceptance of the ex is also the willingness to accept the child also. I hope you understand my point. I would be willing to make decisions for the good of the child. I know it would be unfair for my side but since I love the my ex then it would not be fair also if I take for granted him/her. As simple as that my friend.
Have a good day.
@sajeevking (5073)
• Mumbai, India
23 Mar 12
Well Yes
i don't see any problem here. the only thing which need to be done here is that the child needs to be aware that the relationship between her mother and father is now over.
it would surely take some time for her/him to get along with me but with love and care everything would be alright
you will going to accept him or her back minus the child?
well why should one put this condition on her. its her child no one has the right to take the child away from her mother. not even me
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
Why you ask me? My thread is about what if your in that situation. I already given my piece so I'm wondering how about you? what will you going to do? will you do that? will you accept your ex along with the child or is it complicated in your part?
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
25 Mar 12
Then you really don't get the point on what this thread is all about. Who say that you must make her to choose between you and her?
The question is here is nothing to do with her or with the child.
the question is here is if you going to accept her back with a child. Its not her who going to decide for this its you.
@sajeevking (5073)
• Mumbai, India
24 Mar 12
Yes Buddy I would
If I love her then why would i put her in a situation where she has to choose between me or her child
To come to a point i would never even ask her to choose between us
@kaeirole (668)
• Philippines
21 Mar 12
if my ex and i still love each other, and accepting her back with her child will never have any complications, then yes, i'll accept her and be a step parent to her child..it's not a problem with me as long as there's mutual feelings between me and my ex..and we're not having a relationship like "you and me against the world"..the child will always be accepted because he/she has not done anything wrong in this world..
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
22 Mar 12
Me too. If the environment is like that. I can adopt the child and accept it as my own. But in this case I only have one condition. I don't want the child to have any association to its real father or mother and along with their family. I want to have a circle family. I don't want to have a balloon family. In which theirs some one sticking on the side. On which we need to tell where we going to go because the child is with us. Where we need to tell or to ask permission to bring the child, etc. etc.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
22 Mar 12
You have a point in here also. problem sometimes especially if you got pregnant out of marriage and suddenly one of you realize that he or she is not the one for you and realize that you still love you ex etc. then its more damaging to a child to have a broken family.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
22 Mar 12
Theirs no husband in here. Having a baby does not automatically mean you got married right? And as I say its out of marriage. Meaning not married.
Anyway. We only have one life and their no second chance. Theirs some who has perfect family and theirs just some who make mistake in life.
@Tamosree1993 (1525)
• India
21 Mar 12
No i am not accept him. Because this incidents will hurts my parents and family members. So i don't do that.
Have a nice day my friend.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
22 Mar 12
I understand. Its the same in our country 50 years ago. but sine modernization comes people in our country become open minded especially in the cities. But if you live in rural area where family ties is still strong its really a taboo. That's why I'm saying that culture must be their to help us grown not chain us.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
22 Mar 12
Why will your parents be hurt and also your family members? Is it simply because your ex has a child? So do you mean your cater the wants of our parents and your family and not your wants? Your the one who going to have a family not your parents or your family members. Your the one who going to spend the rest of your life with your ex. So its must be you who going to decide for that. If you don't want simply because your ex has a child then that's okay. but if you don't want because of what other will think then that's for me is some how questionable.
@Tamosree1993 (1525)
• India
22 Mar 12
Hello,
feel nice to see your reply. I am little bit late to reply you so sorry.
Actual i am from india. And indian cultures are tottaly different. Its not my problem to accept him. If i love him definately i want to try to accept him with any condition but i will intrupped by my culture, my family, my neighbour, and my locality also.
So dont mind friend for my disagreeness. Actual i cant for my socity and culture.
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
20 Mar 12
Sweetheart I hate to break it to you but a man who has a child with another woman will always be attached in one way or another. He may not be attached emotionally, but he definitely will be financially and otherwise.
They both have to raise their child together, the mother didn't create a baby by herself,thus and such, there is always going to be some kind of "connection" between your beau and his ex.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
21 Mar 12
That's true and not only financially but since the other party also have a right to visit the child its also going to mess with your schedules and privacy also. Just think if two or three days the child will going to live with the other party. Then its really not a whole family. Unless that other party will give up all his or her right to the child. But even so how about the financial dilemma of raising the child. I don't think its right that you shoulder that also.
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
20 Mar 12
I don't know that's kind of a toughie for me, and not because I wouldn't be willing to take him back but because I really have no intention of having to deal with whatever "baby mama drama" or "baby daddy drama" that accompnaies the child.
That person they had the child with will ALWAYS be in our lives, always and there's no escaping that.
Aside from that you have the child who may be unable to accept me, and might hold a grudge on me thinking I'm the one that split up he/she mommy and daddy,resulting in me having to deal with the child's issues.
It's not as simple as "yes I love him or her so let's gets back together" it's a little more complex when a child is involved.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
21 Mar 12
That's what I'm also thinking. Its the burden of having to raise a child that is not yours also really have some effect in the relationship. Unless you are madly in love with your ex or something. I don't think its going to work or if its going to work its not going to feel a whole family. Unless you yourself adopt the child as your own and give that child your family name and the biological parent of that child will no longer have any rights to claim the child as his or hers.
@sahlifame (32)
•
21 Mar 12
why not if she or he is free..
single..and determined for my love again...
sometimes second time around
.... are much sweeter than the first one..
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
22 Mar 12
Then theirs no question about her. Now what about the child? Are you willing to take care of that child? Are you prepared to compete with the child real father or mother? Are you prepared to handle not only the family of your ex but also the family of the child on the other side? And do you accept the responsibility as a step father?
