Common courtesy aint so common anymore!!!
By Cody Stewart
@CODYMAC (1356)
San Diego, California
March 30, 2012 10:30pm CST
Hello all my myLot friends. I have a bit of a complaint. The other day, I was on Skype with my girlfriend. I was at Burger King, and using their wi fi. While I was talking to her she asked me if she could talk to someone that was there. She lives in the Philippines, and has never seen anything in America, other than movies, and the like.
A worker was nearby and I asked her if she would like to wave and say "hi" to someone in the Philippines. The young girl looked offended, and said, "no, I am at work." I said back to her, "it will be only a second, and the lady just wants to see someone-" "I cant, I am at work!" She said in an angry voice. I said, "wow, that is a little mean, dont you think?"
Then at that time another employee asked her in Spanish what was going on. She replied with a "sheesh". I told her in Spanish that, I was "real sorry for even asking. Dont worry, I wont ask you for anything again." She was surprised because I knew Spanish and just walked away.
I got my things together, and looked for the manager. "Do you need something?" the lady asked me, when I got to the counter, and I replied, "not from you". She then proceeded to say, "If you want to see the manager, she is outside."
The manager came in and I let her know that I would not be talked to like a child the way that young lady did to me. She defended herself with a, "you asked me if I wanted to get online to see someone, and I didnt want to." I told her that it was skype, and that she told me because she was working, not because she didnt want to.
I then left with this word to the manager, "I see that you do not teach the youngsters how to respect their elders, and common courtesy anymore." Was I wrong in doing this? I mean it was an 18 year old girl, who was just rude in my eyes. Yes, I could have left it alone, but it is shocking to see how our children are growing up. I just dont know... what do you all think? Was I wrong, or was she? Thank you for your comments.
3 people like this
14 responses
@Kojigirl (188)
•
31 Mar 12
I think you were wrong. If you had asked another customer, that's fine, but to ask someone who is working is a bit much. You don't know what the rules of the company are, what if she'd done it and she'd been fired on the spot? What if there are rules about what they can and can't do? She's a young girl, it's probably her first job and she didn't want to look as though she were having an interaction on a computer with some 'friend of yours from the Philippines'. You could have been anyone, the person on the other side of the Skype could have been anyone, and it's her choice to not have herself online.
You were well out of order, and I think you should wind your neck in. Girls today have to be a bit more savvy about who is asking them to say hello and to whom. You could have been ANYBODY. How does she know you're legitimate? How does she know her boss won't see her and ask her what the hell she's doing when she's supposed to be working? Flirting with a guy and saying hello to people on the internet? How does she know your 'friend' is in the Philippines? She'd only have your word for it.
Imagine she's your girlfriend, and some guy she has never seen in her life asks her to say hello, then starts chatting her up, whatever? YOU know you weren't up to no good, but there is no way she doesn't. You're in the wrong here. As a woman, if that were my daughter, I wouldn't want her saying hello to anyone just because some guy asked her to.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Apr 12
kojigirl was a bit tough on you and she assumed you might be a badie. but people are too hung u p on thinking everyone is evil
this is going too far. you gave a very kind response back to her
so she should seen you are 
not a baddy at all.
not a baddy at all.@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
1 Apr 12
Thanks Hatley... I am grateful for your response. It makes me feel a whole lot better. 
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
31 Mar 12
Hello, Kojigirl. Thank you for your very serious response. I have seen through these responses that you are correct. I should have thought about these things before I even asked. She isn't "some friend of" mine. Yet you are correct that we could have been anyone.
You think I should "wind in my neck"? I have no idea what that means but it sounds like you think I was doing something "immoral"? Did I get that right? In your serious tone, you paint a picture of all that is wrong with the world.
It may have been her first day on the job and I think you are correct in that she was fearful she might lose it. I think you may be reading more into this than there is. I would have, in one second, stood up for her if she would have lost her job, and said that it was my fault.
You have many good points, and I thank you for them. I do, though, think you missed the part where she lied about "why". When an adult in the past said hello to a child, the parent told the child, " be nice and say hello.", and, "dont lie it is not right" I am not forcing this young lady to do anything. I am making a point in how youth today have no common courtesy. You are making me look like I am a "dirty old man".
Yet, I know how our world is today. It is full of these weirdos. I grew up in a place where we were to show respect to our elders, and have understanding for those who are young. Have a great day.
@MoonGypsy (4605)
• United States
31 Mar 12
i think it's really great that you went back and reviewed the situation to consider all sides of it, hers too. that's very big of you. some people are just pushy and just don't care about other people's boundaries. we do have to respect other people's boundaries no matter what age the are. great that you are wise enough to see that.
1 person likes this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
31 Mar 12
Hello, MoonGypsy. I was raised in a house where you said you were sorry if you offended someone. If I were ever wrong, I made sure to tell people that I was, and I was sorry. You are correct. People need to respect boundaries. I love debates because people see all sides of the issue. Not just one side. That is where I learned to see how other people think, feel, and live. Thank you for your response. Have a great day.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
31 Mar 12
I think that the girl could have been a little more polite, or simply ignored you if she was going to be as nasty to you as it seemed she was. While you did maybe take it a little too far, I don't see any wrong in it either. The girl probably needed the lesson of learning how to be kind, even in a burger king.
1 person likes this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
31 Mar 12
Thank you for your response, SomeCowgirl. It is true that she could have ignored me, but what got me is that after I had the conversation with her manager, she told the truth about why. I mean I see now that I did take it too far, and I was sorry for that. It just kills me to see children these days acting like this. If I talked to my elders like that, wow, I would have been in deep water... Have a great day.
1 person likes this
@Graceekwenx (3160)
• Philippines
31 Mar 12
Hi Cody!
Hmm... I am a filipino... I just hope that the young girl is not a racist... I was thinking that you might have disturbed her concentration with your little request to say hi to your Filipina gf. There are some people out there who dont look highly on my race; a thought comes to mind.. "me? say hi to a curious filipina??? so what??!!"
Hayyyyyyyy... i hope im wrong. Just the same, if i was that young lady, i might have turned down your request also but i would most definitely try to still be very respectful. Perhaps that youngster was just having a bad day...
1 person likes this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
31 Mar 12
Kamusta, Graceekwenx. Awesome!!! I am happy to get a response from you. I know how you feel about that. My gf had the same experience before we met. It is sad. The young lady was Mexican, and I have to agree. She looked upset before I asked her, and I should have had the "common courtesy" to have seen that. Thank you so much for your response. Have a great day.
1 person likes this
@MissPiggy (1748)
• Indonesia
31 Mar 12
Ok, I think you might seem to push her a little bit, but I agree if she was a little rude. I think it's better for her to politely ask you to wait for a while until she finished what she was doing and then came to you just to say "hi" for a minute. But as we can't cry over a spilled milk (I mean you could've asked anyone else who was willing to help that time), let's just say that she was afraid of her manager if she left her duty even just for a while. Next time, just never ask the same person for a help. :D
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
1 Apr 12
It is true. Most people don't believe n Common Courtesy anymore, and they should because you could get more tips, or people could think more of a gentleman or a lady if you are courteous to others. Again, it is something that should be practiced and that isn't practiced anymore.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
1 Apr 12
Yes, rogue13... I agree, and am happy to see others with the same concerns. It only means there needs to be a big shift. You know, to doing what is right. Always. I can understand why it is so hard in our society. Its the "rat race". thanks for the response.. Have a great day.
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Apr 12
hi Codymac that employee probably had been bawled oujt ast something she did with a customer instead of working but she could have said"I am sorry I would like to bu t the boss does not allow us to mingle with the customers.' That would have been courteous not the way she acted.you were not wrong, she was.She was rude, and you had done nothing to be treated like that.If she had worries about the boss catching her talking to the friend in the Philippines she should have explained that courteously.Rudeness in the market place is found often now.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
1 Apr 12
Hi, Hatley. Thank you for your kind remarks. I watched a few days ago as a clerk in Target rolled her eyes at a woman trying to fish out change in her purse. I thought to myself, well at least she is open about her attitide...
. I think next time I go out and am treated that way, I'll just hand that person a $5 and say thank you for your kindness. Hehehe. I bet that will get them thinking about their attitude. 
Have a great day, and God bless...
. I think next time I go out and am treated that way, I'll just hand that person a $5 and say thank you for your kindness. Hehehe. I bet that will get them thinking about their attitude. Have a great day, and God bless...
@megamatt (14290)
• United States
1 Apr 12
Well I see this all across the board, no matter what the age, so it is not just the younger generation. Even if it would be foolish to deny that the younger generations are full of disrespectful little snots. Of course, every generation has them, even if they do seem like to be slightly more and when the disrespectful little snots from the past generation are raising the new generation of disrespectful little snots, what you you really expect?
But I have saw my share of elders who are rude and obnoxious as you can, who are snippy and rude as the most disrespectful youth out there. To me that is kind of worse, because the elders should be the one's leading the example. If that is the example for the impressionable youngsters, than not fooling they are like this. While your actions were commendable I doubt they would have done much good because of the simple fact that common courtesy is not too common.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
1 Apr 12
Hey, megamatt. Yes, and yes. It is that way with all generations. I have seen it with the older people too. I guess that since I was raised in a way that others might think is "old fashioned" to them having a bad attitude is normal. Thanks for the response, and have a great day.
@Inderjeetkaur (944)
• India
31 Mar 12
You were not wrong in asking her to wave and say a "hi" to your girlfriend, but I must say even she wasn't wrong in refusing you. Being in her place I also may have refused you. Firstly, because you were a stranger secondly, I was at my working place where I was only supposed to do my job thirdly, from the fear of being scolded from the manager had she seen me busy somewhere else then my work.
But yes she could have been polite in her refusal. But then we don't know may be she has faced some unpleasant experience in her past and therefore she thought of putting her words flat and straight.
1 person likes this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
31 Mar 12
That is very true. I am a stranger and I guess that since I was at McDonalds and the people there didnt seem to have a problem with it, I assumed(which is wrong on my part)that she would not have had a problem with it, either. I need to think about that last comment as well. Thank you and have a great day.
1 person likes this
@Mashnn (4501)
•
31 Mar 12
There seems to have been a problem with communication. The girl felt like you wanted her to stop working and attend to other businesses not related to work. I think what she did was to misinterpret your intentions. On the other hand, she would have been more polite and just tell you that she is not allowed to do whatever you were asking her to do.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
31 Mar 12
Thank you both for your comments. I can see how it would have been a bother. I just was happy to let her see things here, I think I forgot to take into account that maybe other people may not share my enthusiasm. Hehehe, I may need to think about that in the future. Thanks guys.
1 person likes this
@cherriefic (10399)
• Philippines
6 Jan 16
There are people who are too busy to give one act of kindness. Well, I have to agree that common courtesy is no longer common cause of those mean people around.
@dazzledlady (1618)
• Philippines
31 Mar 12
Well, I think she must have misunderstood you because in the first place she did not know you. And you know that the world is full of bad people. Aside from she is working , she must be protecting herself to be not part of any illegal activities in the net. Sometimes its how you ask can also be a factor. But yes, I think she should have refused you properly.
1 person likes this
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
31 Mar 12
I know right. Even if I was wrong 100%, I think that children need to learn how to respect their elders, (I am only 36, but still older than 18). It is that we are living in a place now where the youth are just mean and short sited. I dont know though. Thanks for your response. Have a great day.
1 person likes this
