Identical twins resurrecting the trouble

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Hello everyone. I bet most of you know the thing that comes from having low self-esteem, basicly (within teen age) fall in love with any girl/guy that is pretty and shows a least bit of friendliness towards you. (For me, those are girls) Well, anyway, I was succesfully evolving/upgrading/forgot-the-word myself in order to get out of that low confidence and self-esteem hole. Sure there came those short-fall-in-loves, emberrassed myself as a man a couple of times and stuff like that. It's only normal for me, at this age, to be successfully climbing out of that hole, even if it takes some time, I am doing it quite fast in comparison. (I'm 17 now) Sure, everything went smoothly, up until I participated in an EU youth project, where I met really beautiful twins in my age. At first I thought 'I might as well test myself now.' I never had an idea that twins are more powerful. I went talking with them and doing activities with them quite often, as we were only ones at our age. I found out that both of them has a boyfriend 'Ah excellent, this should stop me.' ok, when I concluded, that I still am falling for them, i found out that they both already had lost their virginity, which is good, 'cos I need my girlfriend to be untouched by any other man... Damn it, this one sided love is more powerful than I thought. After all that, when i went home, I found out (on the net) that they had pretty commkon personalities with other girls at this age and I'd like my girlfriend to be fully unique. Well, that didn't stop me too. Now I have fallen for twins, both of them, those girls were so ..so..I don't even know what i like about them excluding the looks. (That's why it is, low self esteem and confidence quick-fell-in-love) But I never expected that, by falling in love like this for twins are like double-power for my feelings. My sensful mind will not accept me having any boyfriend-girlfriend-type relationships with grils that seems so common, i already have decided to find a truly special girl/women. But my emotons are ready to jump in to anything. I mean this is even the first time I am writting about stuff like this - see how powerful are love towards both twins. Sure, i can look at this from psychilogical view, because I am good at it, but I am more interested to let my emotions out for now. Everything would be easier if wouldn't have to meet them after a month, but then again i am waiting in anticipation for it. Oh well, i will get over it at some point, since I have to succeed i cannot stop my personal growth because of some love-thing. Thanks for listening.