My Sister In Law's Mad Cause I Had To Tell The Truth
By MoonGypsy
@MoonGypsy (4606)
United States
April 19, 2012 1:33am CST
my sister in law has a couple of server problems. she is a single homeless mother on ssi. from the time her daughter was born, she had c.p.s problems. so far, she has had cps in her life twice. now, way before her one year old daughter was born she had a problem with being mess and having a very very bad hygiene problem. she has a problem living alone, because she is a hoarder and a very very messy one. she alsn (even us) because of her issues. she also has a social problem with her mouth and putting her self in awkward situations. the same way she keep her body and her house is the same way she keep her daughter. she never gives her a bath. she let's her wander around breaking and getting into things. she is left unsupervised for hours and hours at at time. she can't keep a stable place to live.
now she ask me why do these things keep happening to her. she is having a problem with her roomate now, because she doesn't take care of her child the right way and the messy problem. when she was staying with me, she didn't take a bath for the whole 3 months! a female! yuck! i had to be honest and tell her that the problems she keeps having is under her control. i told her that she need to make some serious changes in her life before she gets my niece taken away from her. she is in denial and doesn't think anything is wrong. she gets offensive and is playing the victim role with me.
now she says she is going to be anti social and not talk to anyone. the other day, i face booked her and she didn't respond. i know she was online, because i saw she was. do you think i was wrong for being truthful? should i just have said nothing at all? i wouldn't have hadn't she asked me. i think i regret what i said. part of me did get mad at her a bit, cause she keeps playing the victim role. i was gentle and loving in my delivery though. i was sensitive to her feelings. where did i go wrong?
2 people like this
3 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
20 Apr 12
I really do not think you were wrong at all in telling her the truth. She asked and you told her what you honestly felt. She can take or leave your advice. If she chooses to get mad, well, that says a lot about her. I think that her reason for getting upset is that on some level she knows that you are right and is not ready or willing to accept it. Truth often hurts. I wouldn't worry about it. She'll get over it and either correct the problem or continue on and let it continue to be a problem. I would NOT give her advice again though. When things continue to go wrong (and they will) and down the road if she asks again, I would just refuse to answer her questions.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
22 Apr 12
you know what, you are right. next time she ask for advise, i won't refuse to answer her. i will just let her know that i don't want to tell her, because she is not going to like to hear what i have to say no matter how i say it. i will also remind her how mad at me she got on this occasion. see, i can't just total ignore her, we are to close for that. we just have that kind of relationship where we talk. besides, she is just the type of person that gets offended and can't take criticism. so, i just have to remember that. thanks so much for the advise. very wise.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
22 Apr 12
Your welcome. I hope she gets over this and comes around sooner rather than later. I'm sure you do care about her and feel just awful about all this. And who knows? Maybe just maybe she values your thoughts enough that once she calms down, she will take a shower and clean up her act. One can only hope...right?
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
19 Apr 12
Hello my friend, telling the truth supposedly not to be get offended for anybody for as long as this is constructive and the subject and you were only the one involved. No one knows. You did nothing wrong, this is for her own good at least there is still somebody that cares for her. I think it would be awkward if she heard it from other people.
Obviously, few of her friends already noticed on her bad reputation but maybe they are just afraid to express the truth of what she is really. You had just a balls to tell her about it because she's your sister in law and of course who else would care?
Let her do what she wanted to do and let her think what she would like to think about you. Your deep concern will clean your conscience because you didn't do it for her destruction but for constructive changes from being irresponsible mother and for being "she" on her environment.I just hope in what you did she would realize your deep concern and make her change her bad attitude to a responsible mother of her child. Your conscience is clean my friend and there's no need for you to regret what you had done to her..
Mobhomeir here.
041912
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
22 Apr 12
thank you so much for the support. yes, i did it because i care about her and my niece. i don't want my niece to be take away by c.p.s. i care about her. she is really a good person and has a heart of pure gold. she is a loyal friend and family member to have. people just can't see how lucky they are to know her because of all that other junk. she get's hurt and i am tired of her going through it. the conversation was in private and no one knows but people in my secrete e-diary....my lot. thank you so much for your response, friend.
1 person likes this
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
22 Apr 12
just on an update since then. she did loosen up and started talking back to me. this is the first time our relationship has been tested. you are right, after giving her space it seems like nature just took it's course between us. i guess in the end, the relationship did with stand this test...as friends and family.
