Why do doctors...

@Loverbear--That is the bottom line. What is your quality of life going to be like? I know my dad was miserable. You could see it in his eyes. He was bored out of his mind not being able to do anything but sit in front of a tv or turn pages in a magazine/newspaper and talk to whoever came by to visit. That was it. Every day, same routine except for when he was going for dr. appointments, dialysis, in hospital, etc.

I know that when it comes to the point that I am in that kind of shape I will opt out too. It's a hard decision, but I also look at the fact that by continuing treatment only supports the doctors, labs, hospitals, and the dialysis companies. I just hope to have an understanding person at my side and a doctor that isn't caught up in his own self importance. Each of us has to take the time to understand the point where we need to use the scales of balance as to whether the treatment is worth all the pain and suffering against what our quality of future life is going to be.

It's hard when you can see it in action and the person in control will not listen to reality or accept it. And then there was the legal action where we couldn't do anything about it. Good for you in making your wishes known. That is exactly my plan, although I know my husband wouldn't act or behave the way my mom did.

So sorry you are in such pain. Bless you.

I realize that doctors are trained to save lives, but they need to stop and think about the fact that someone who has a limited life expectancy should be allowed to go with dignity and not the extra excruciating pain that a limb removal would cause! I can totally relate to what you are going through. Although I am not a diabetic, there are other physical problems that cause constant pain and suffering. If it weren't for my boyfriend Bill and my house full of critters (three dogs and four cats) I would have given up long ago. It is truly love that keeps us going. The hardest thing to accept is that a loved one is ready to pass on to the unknown. I had to come to terms with it (I did a lot of growing from the experience) because it was what my Mom wanted. If I could have one wish, I would wish for the people of the world to suffer less pain, if any at all. So many of the diseases should have been controlled and eliminated years ago. We are donating millions and billions of dollars to find cures for various diseases and we still aren't any closer to a cure for them, except extreme torture through chemo, dialysis, and injections on a daily basis. As for what goes through doctor's heads, I have run into a lot of them who feel that they are "Gods" because they went through years of school and internship. I usually manage to knock them off their pedestal and bring them back to earth. I hope you have a long time getting to enjoy your Grand children.

I use to not have feeling in my legs an was wheelchair bound so now when there is alot of pain I know it sound sick but I think god cause I can feel it an I expect to be around for along time to enjoy my grandkids Lovebear I am also like you with the furbabies it seems once i heal one an find it a home someone else finds another for me to help working on a kitten that is 5 days old had him for 4 he was thrown in the trash an i think that is another way of I use to keep going an I also have 1 dog 5 cats 2 birds an now this tiny kitten an a bunny an i agree with you about what gose though doctors heads whatever happen to becomeing a doctor to help not for a huge pay check

That is true. I understand totally understand that. I think my mom was in a bad state of denial. He had beat so many other things. Sad.

People don't always realize that doctors are only human and not Gods. They will listen to the "advice" from the doctor and will go with whatever the doctor says. What I can't understand is that when doctors know that the situation is hopeless they keep pushing extreme treatments or won't recognize the fact that the patient is tired of all the pain and suffering from extended treatments that can extend their lives a short period of time. It leaves them living a pain filled, non life. I often wonder if the doctors do the recommending simply to continue to have the funds come in from the patient's insurance. I know as humans all we can do is our best, but the doctors need to realize that sometimes that the treatment is worse than the disease and they should also offer other alternatives to the patient. I know from the pain that I live with every day that I would love a way to end the pain and have my life back. Right now I can't even weed the yard because of the pain. I am not near ready for my life to end, but I would love to find an alternative to all the poking, prodding, medications, testing and so forth. It would be great if when the situation is so dire that there was a counselor on hand that could handle the denial, grief, and decision making process with the family and be the level head that will take into consideration the patient's wishes.

These are the kind of doctors who should not be practicing medicine at all. A doctor should have compassion first and foremost.

It is the doctors with the grandiose ideas of what he can do that really give me a pain where I sit. They cannot accept that fact that the patient doesn't want to continue in a pain filled life that has no sign of improvement. They come up with really outrageous ideas for what to do for the patient rather than accepting the patient's wishes. I remember many years ago, when I started my Work Compensation suit that I went to one of the doctors with a exaggerated opinion of himself. I have bad C 4,5,and 6 disks in my neck. I was advised by another doctor that if I had the surgery to correct the problem I would have a 99% chance of becoming a quadra or paraplegic. I had heard a LOT about that surgery anyhow and really didn't want it. One day we were early to my appointment and were sitting in the parking lot. I watched the doctor drive up in a brand new Mercedes. I told Mom that this would be my last appointment with the doctor. She wanted to know how I knew, and I told her about the new car and that he would be pushing for me to have the surgery. I was right. He immediately met me with "Either you have the surgery or you leave". I told him "Good bye" and left. It was a good thing that I didn't have the surgery because I was rear ended when I was up at Stanford and although it was a light tap on the rear of my car, I still had a mild case of whiplash. My neurologist stated that if I had had the surgery I would have been in a wheel chair. Bru was a very wise man and knew his mind and strengths. The doctors are used to patients that want to be saved at any cost. They will do anything to prolong their lives even if it means suffering horribly and that it will bankrupt their families. The sad part of it all is that usually the only one to benefit from the patient's decision is the doctor. Just like the surgeon that I wrote about above, my surgery would have paid for his new car, but he omitted the crucial detail about the probabilities of paralysis and being wheel chair bound. I can't imagine that the doctor had the guts to recommend the vest. Especially with two metal plates resting against his back. At that point the doctor's main concern should have been making Bru more comfortable and easing his remaining time rather than trying to extend the misery. I would love to hunt that doctor down and give him a good swift kick in the educational spot.