Does Your Child Pay you to watch your grandchildren?
By Dominique25
@Dominique25 (9460)
United States
May 5, 2012 6:38pm CST
Today my husband said that I was stupid for giving my mom money. My mom watches our daughter all the time. She watches her when we want to go out and for a few hours throughout the week. Whenever I need a babysitter or even help so I can get things done around the house she is more than willing to watch her granddaughter. She's the type of person that doesn't ask for money and she gets irritated if I thank her for watching my daughter. My mom knew that I would have some extra money and she asked for a little. I had some extra money and I thought that my mom deserved it and a lot more. So I gave her $50. When I mentioned it to my husband he said that I was stupid. He says that he doesn't know any parents that have their children pay them for watching their grandchild. I really don't know what planet my husband is living on but a lot of people have their children pay them. It may only be a little but their are parents out their that do this. I think when people do something for us and are willing to help we shouldn't always expect them to do it for free, or if we have the means we should pay them something. My husband seems to think that we shouldn't show appreciate for what others do for us. I mean in reality like I told him my mom deserves a lot more because she is always there for us.
4 people like this
8 responses
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
6 May 12
I live in a big city and miles away from my grandchildren and only see them on special occasions. I would think that there should be some compensation for looking after grandchildren, if not pay, then a gift. I can understand when the parents are poor that they cannot afford so much an hour, but at least they do something in appreciation of the grandparents looking after their children. Your husband is wrong.
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9460)
• United States
19 May 12
I completely agree with you. Yes, we know that grandparents love their grandchildren but that doesn't mean we shouldn't in some way, shape, or form show that we appreciate what they do. We shouldn't expect it to be a given for anybody to do anything. So I think that I'm completely right for helping my mom out and I will continue to do that when I have the money too.
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
6 May 12
I do not have grandchildren. But someday if they want me to watch their children and I am not busy I know that I will be more then willing to help out and will not accept any money. That is just how I am. I do know of people though who charge their kids to watch their grandchildren. I know plenty that dont and do mind either. My parents will only watch my kids very rarely if its for a doctors appointment or something that I had to go to.
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9460)
• United States
19 May 12
Yeah I understand what you are saying. My mom is the same way, she doesn't charge us for watching our daughter. And she watches her at least once a week if not more if she wants too. I just like to show my appreciation for her help. I think that when others help us we should how that we are thankful and let them know.
@peavey (16936)
• United States
6 May 12
Let me answer from the other side of the coin. I am a grandparent and I wouldn't watch my grandchildren more than once or twice a month without getting paid somehow. It wouldn't need to be money, but a trade off would work.
I don't think children should expect their parents to watch their kids just because. That's not fair. They're not her kids, after all.
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9460)
• United States
19 May 12
I'm glad to hear that. I completely agree with you. We definitely shouldn't expect our parents to watch our child/ren for free. After all they have things that they would like to be doing with their time. We want to be paid if we were watching another person's child. So I think we should definitely show our appreciation for our parents when they help us out.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
6 May 12
Nope I don't get paid for watching our grandkids. I help out as often as I can and since I'm retired I do have plenty of free time. I love to be with the grandkids. They are 3 1/2 and 6 weeks and I enjoy every minute. Our other grandkids live in another state and sure miss them and the time I could spend with them whether it be babysitting or visiting. I enjoy the interaction with the grandkids and think it's real healthy. Our daughter has never offered to pay me and there is no way I would accept money anyway. She does buy extra special gifts for most holidays and my birthday. I know she and her husband really appreciate my help. So glad I am physically able to help out and drive 20 min. to their house each time I babysit. This grandma is loving it.
2 people like this
@besweet (9831)
• Ireland
6 May 12
In my country there is a saying in my country for the grandparents, that says: My child's child is 2 times my child! I think I am on your husband's side on this. Appreciation inside the family can be shown in many ways. When I have extra money, I also buy presents for my mother and I help her if she needs some money, this is the least I could do for her since she has provided everything to me all those years. However I wouldn't pay her in exchange for babysitting my child (in the future) because I believe that some things in the family are provided out of love and for free.
But I don't think that what you did is stupid, every person has is different and although it isn't what I would do, it is good that you think about your mother when you have some extra money and you are helping her. Every time my boyfriend gets a bonus from his job, he gives money to his mother too and I find it really sweet!
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9460)
• United States
19 May 12
I'm glad to hear that your boyfriend gives his mother money when he has extra. It really is a nice thing for him to do. After all our parents have done a lot for us and they deserve our appreciation. We should help them out when we can like they do for us.
1 person likes this
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
18 May 12
Your husband should not look at it as payment. Your mother is caring for her flesh and blood and does a lot to set your minds all at ease. He should bring gifts and little items for her. She does not have to do what she is doing. It is because she loves her grandchildren that she is doing it. He should instead have given her more. What is $50? A nice little thank you is more in the way of $250. If she were not there, he would have to pay a lot more for a nanny. Yes, this is what happens to most people when they get old and live with their kids. Don't listen to your husband on this one.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9460)
• United States
18 May 12
I completely agree with you. You understand my thinking quit well. He made me upset when he said I was stupid for giving my mom money. Yeah I agree he should be bringing her gifts and things she likes. He never does though. He is often very unappreciative of what others do for us. I told him that too, that if my mom wasn't around we would have to pay a lot of money to have someone else watch our daughter. $250 is a great thank you. I couldn't believe that he was complaining because I gave her $50 which is nothing compared to all that she has done for us. I won't listen to him on this one. I know that she deserves every little bit that I can give her. I will continue to give her gifts and money when I have it.
1 person likes this
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
18 May 12
You are a good daughter. These are your mother's last years and one should have enough common sense and love to do what is right. Your mother could be one of those grannies who won't give too much time to the kids, but your mother seems ever willing. Men are not always right Dominique, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and a brain to help you. I was astounded that he would think she is worth $50. Just shows you how a lot of men think. I could not stand to be with a selfish bugger. Hope this does not disturb you.
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
6 May 12
Actually, you don't pay your mom for taking care of your grandchild. What you are giving her is what we call, our token of love for them too.
You don't have to tell your husband that you are giving your mom money. Of course, he will think of your mom, as just taking care of your child because of the money, not out of love.
Just give your mom, some from your extra money whenever you can. But don't feel obligated to always do so, every time you leave your child with her.
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
20 May 12
Though mothers wouldn't want say it, they also appreciate that once and a while we could also give her some monetary token. That way, she could buy something for her too, without getting it from her own purse.
Just don't tell your husband about it anymore.
@Dominique25 (9460)
• United States
19 May 12
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. Yeah my mom watches our daughter because she loves her. And I'm happy that when I have some extra money I'm able to help her. She appreciates it and I'm glad to know that I have shown her that I appreciate her watching and taking care of our daughter.
