Falling in love with my bestfriend's crush

May 9, 2012 7:24pm CST
My bestfriends has a crush with this girl for 4 years now. Suddenly i felt that I too is starting to fall in love with this girl. I don't know what to do. My bestfriend is very obsessed to this girl and i don't want to steal her from him. What should i do?
2 people like this
4 responses
@sid556 (30964)
• United States
10 May 12
Hi Jed, Well, this is a hard one to answer. They say that all is fair in love and war. The truth is that it would really be her choice in the end. You can't "steal" her from him as he doesn't own her. He isn't even dating her, right? There is no getting around it...if you ask her out and she accepts, he is going to be furious with you. It might or might not really damage your friendship, depending on the kind of person he is. He will probably feel angry, hurt and betrayed by you. Without knowing him, it's impossible to know how strongly he would react. I wouldn't recommend being dishonest to your friend but I think you should be at least very confident that she returns your interest before risking blowing up your friendship. Personally, I've always cared too much about my friendships to even entertain thoughts of being with someone they are interested in. I'm not saying you'd be wrong at all to go after this girl because I don't know as there is any right answer here. I personally just would not but that's just me.
• United States
12 May 12
@Sid you make a good point about how you care too much about your friendship to even think about being with someone your friend is interested in. If he and his friend are really close and have been that way for along time it wouldn't be worth damaging the friendship and she might reject both of them. So he should talk with his friend first.
• Philippines
14 May 12
I suggest that you should be honest to your best friend. That's what good friends do, be honest to each other. And just because you fall in love with the same girl it means that you are a bad person already, you can not teach your heart to feel what it should feel. You cannot dictate anything to it. It is not your fault that you are falling in love with the same girl. It will only be bad if you court that girl without your best friend knowing it.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
11 May 12
I think that you should give him the opportunity to be with her. As he has had the crush on her first and longer right? You don't want to ruin your friendship either. If it doesn't work out between them or she doesn't like your friend in that way then you can tell him how you feel about her before you pursue her.
• Philippines
10 May 12
talk to your bestfriend man. its really good to be honest and the best part of that he is your best buddy so dont be afraid to tell him, whatever agreement comes between the two of you must respect and obey it. best of luck buddy.