Do you hate it when your colleague is so straight forward?

Malaysia
May 13, 2012 12:12pm CST
I get to know this woman in her 40s last week in my research company. We get close and chat on all most common things, but sometimes she will ban my comments, and I never mind her, but today she shows off her true colour, she let herself out, I was saying we must save money for rainy days and so that when getting old we can rely on the money and sit on the rocking chair watching tv. But she misunderstand me and said what? Rocking chair? You want me to get paralysed? How bad are you. I just got numb at the moment and clarify what I said, and later she said sorry. But I still feeling weird and not happy because why she will misunderstand me, although we know each other not so long but I see she is a straight forward person, its just that today she is so straight to shoot me and I hated it. DO you think she is right person for me to be friends?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
14 May 12
Each one of us has our own attitude and characteristics. We can't please everybody. That also goes with your new colleague, she can't please everyone. If she is inconsiderate or insensitive then don't force yourself to be friends with her. Just try not to treat her like an enemy as well. You can still befriend her but not the friend that you can trust. Also, she's new to you so you might as well give it time for her to show her real side, she may become the best friend you have longed for
• Malaysia
14 May 12
it is something to ponder sometimes over people that we have known, that life is not easy to make real friends, sometimes I just go along with the people and take it as it is.
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
14 May 12
That's a better attitude than planting anger in your heart for someone. You're a good person, don't try to change because of what others will try to do or if others keep on pulling you down
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
14 May 12
I think your co worker is indeed very inconsiderate. What i think with what you said is really nothing for her to react so negatively with. I mean, why on earth will she be thinking of you wanting her to be paralized. I loved the rocking chair and even grew up to one... my mom has one at home and i enjoy it all the time! I think there must be something that is actually bothering her, her mind was not into what you both were talking about. she could have taken notice on what you were trying to say to her about the topic... about retirement, and old age But her mind sure was only able to process the thought of the wheel chair for paralyzed people and took it negatively.
• Malaysia
14 May 12
She said her mother has just passed away, I think her mind still think of her mother, it really bothers her, I hope she is okay soon, and I don't want to be a victim of verbal abuse.
@meapas (2436)
• India
14 May 12
Hi, Language is a medium of mass communication, irrespective of which it is, be it a regional, national or international language. More often than not everyone creates a very silly mistake of speaking in a language that they are comfortable in. What actually happens is the person across the table may not be actually understanding all the nuances of the spoken word and is more likely to misinterpret whatever is spoken, and in all probabilities take offense immediately. The best conversation ever possible between you and anyone is that when you are only listening and you allow your colleague to speak as much as possible. That way the chances for him / her to misunderstand YOU is less, and if you feel he / she is going off tangent then just avoid commenting. No harm done.No ill will generated. Do not expect everyone to be your FRIEND, just think of them as your acquaintance. It is over a period of time that a comfort level is built and a sense of understanding begins which ends up in a friendship that goes beyond our lifetime. That is how we hear of people helping their friends family even long after their actual friend has passed away. Try not to be disillusioned by people's comments and simply put it down as to their inability to understand what WE are trying to say. take care and God bless
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
14 May 12
Less talk, less error. It is better if you work way through her tactfully and try to assess her more by letting her open up more. Sometimes assuming someone to be like what we think they are could be misleading too, but hopefully through the process of constant communication you would learn more and more about her, so you could anticipate things that could cause hurting her ego and yours too.
@jennbart (1330)
• Philippines
14 May 12
When getting to know someone, we must be sensitive and be careful to what we say. Some people who doesnt realy know us, might misinterpret us. With that, we would know how to work around our words if they are sensitive. But in your case, I dont think I would describe your colleague as straight forward, but she just misunderstood what you said.
• Philippines
14 May 12
In my opinion, if at the onset of the friendship, I am no longer comfortable with the attitude of the person, I will try to talk to her about it. If she do something about it or if she explains her side, then I will try to gauge if I can live up to that kind of attitude. If I know for a fact that I can't, there is no point keeping the friendship because otherwise, more misunderstandings would soon rise and I would hate that.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
13 May 12
This is part of getting to know new friends. Each of us carries around our special fears and this makes us sensitive about certian subjects. With a new friend often the only way to discover these special things is to stumble over them. Just as you did, now you know her even better and will be more in tune with her. People who want to be friends are few, to few to throw them away over a simple misunderstanding. Blessings
• India
13 May 12
I think you should be spend a little more time in getting to know her a bit better as she is new to you. Never get to comfortable with a newbie as they may not always respond in the same manner as you are expecting them to respond in. Never show it but try to judge the person during the first few days. By doing so you know whether the person can be trusted or not. Based on that you can strengthen your relationship. es you will come across people who are straight forward in life. You can do very little to change them as their nature is such. So what we can do is be careful in front of them and also what we speak in front of them. By doing so we will not give them a chnace to snap back at us.