Is your lover can be your bestfriend?
By lynpreety
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
Philippines
May 15, 2012 6:22pm CST
Most relationship started with friendship, they are more comfortable in this way saying each others secrets. Most of the time they lean each other's shoulder to cry on because there are friends no boundaries no personal involvement to each other.
But most of the time also the friendship ended up falling in love to each other, personal feelings attach and I think it is the end of the good friendship.
Why?[b][/b]
There are things that you can't tell to him/her, there are things that you must hide because it involve the relationship itself. Not like before when your still friends it doesn't matter if you tell him a secret of your crush your life your friends with others. But now you feel more hesitant that if you tell him what's on your mind it might misinterpret or misunderstood you.
A friend called me yesterday it seems she wants to cry. She told me she lost a good best friend which is pertaining to his boyfriend. She felt that she can't lean on his shoulder anymore because it might misjudged her or might loose a trust on her if she tells him what's on her mind. She is afraid to her boyfriend think off if she tells whats bothering her that might affect the good relationship they have now as lovers.
I thought she is right, I have a male best friend that once court me but since I have no feelings towards him I told him it is better for us to become more best of friends than become a lover. There are things you can tell to your friends but you can't tell with your lover.
What do you think about this?
4 people like this
15 responses
@musicluv4life (1867)
• United States
15 May 12
I dont think thats true because i tell my boyfriend everything we have a very open relationship about things. we dont keep secrets from each other.
2 people like this
@musicluv4life (1867)
• United States
15 May 12
Yup, i think it makes things work alot easier. :)
2 people like this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
16 May 12
I'm sorry for what happened to both of you but I think bestfriend or not bestfriend if he wants to debate it doesn't matter to him.
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
17 May 12
don't loose hope just talk to him sincerely he might listen to you.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
16 May 12
Well, honestly, I don't know.
It's been a long time since my ex hus and I had a talk and it's not an intimate conversation.
It's like an ordinary acquaintance or ordinary friends who met each other along the street (hehehe)
But in my opinion, why not.
After all, love starts in friendship and in every relationship, trust is the main ingredients.
So, it is better to be an open book to each other- no secrets -no reservation.
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
16 May 12
Hi Jai,
Well me too I don't know how to tell my friends about this since she is the only one who can tell if her bf is open minded.
My ex I saw him when I went in your city but like yours It seems nothing special about us.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
15 May 12
Holding back is a mistake. If there are problems in the relationship you owe it to your partner to be honest. Imagine being the last one to know your partner feels a certain way and you think everything is fine? If your friend thinks her partner would be better off as friends she owes it to him to tell him. If you love a person you are honest with them even if what you must say will hurt. Not being honest just leads you into more problems.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
16 May 12
The problem with her is herself that might affect the thinking of her boyfriend, for me when she shared me her problem It sounds like she is only fussy and maybe she also knew it too and that was she was afraid also her boyfriend might also think that to her.
@blaqwynter (218)
• Canada
17 May 12
I had a lover in the USA, we first met online in a yahoo chatroom, believe it or not... lol. We were friends for 2 years after we met, before we started dating. We dated on and off, due to long distance, and it was more of an open relationship type of thing; even though we loved each other very much. We would break up often, and get back together a year or so later, break up again and get back together etc.. It was a repeated cycle, but it was the best relationship that I have ever had, because we always remained friends even after breaking up!
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
17 May 12
That's the good thing of being friends even your a lover still you ended up friends when you broke up.
@chrisica_angella (138)
• Philippines
16 May 12
Me and my boyfriend weren't friends when he courted me. He came from another school and saw me practicing on our schools field and then he started courting me. After a month, I said yes and then it started. He then became a good boyfriend of mine, a brother and a best friend. We've gone through a lot but we managed to stay strong. But there are things that you need to keep for yourself since you know that it will make him feel bad. I know it's not right but as long as you won't betray him, you may keep that secret for yourself. And yes, I agree with you. There are things that I can tell my friends but I can't tell him.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
16 May 12
I know you don't want him to get hurt by telling him the truth, your right if the secret is almost I might keep it a secret too.
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
20 Jun 12
I think most probably good lovers can be best friends also. I think the life partners can sometimes become good lovers as well as good friends. I think it depends on person and varies between person to person. I think the behavior of the people are more important than anything in the world.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
16 May 12
My own personal belief is that people should be friends first and then maybe lovers. There is nothing I would be more comfortable telling other friends than I would be telling a husband or lover. I was good friends with my late husband for several years before we married and he was most certainly my best friend until he passed away. I would not have a romantic relationship with someone who was not my best friend.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
16 May 12
I'm sorry for the lost, you have a happy memory with him, your still lucky that you have a good relationship with your husband.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
16 May 12
Hello lynboobsy, she's the one having that kind of problem, worry so much about these things. this is her man, and i think he is more qualified to understand her problem than any one else knowing that he is a bestfriend and a lover now at the same time. I don't believe in keeping secrets from your boyfriend. that's exactly why you have a relationship like that because you LOVE the person in or out, good or worse! you can't limit what is to tell and not to tell to your love ones.
.
there's always LQ's, debates, but as long as conversations are alive...that's a relationship
, she's the one having that kind of problem, worry so much about these things. this is her man, and i think he is more qualified to understand her problem than any one else knowing that he is a bestfriend and a lover now at the same time. I don't believe in keeping secrets from your boyfriend. that's exactly why you have a relationship like that because you LOVE the person in or out, good or worse! you can't limit what is to tell and not to tell to your love ones..
there's always LQ's, debates, but as long as conversations are alive...that's a relationship@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
16 May 12
I agree with LK maybe she's only paranoid about her secret. The way I see about her problem is just not that too hard to tell to her boyfriend, she's too emotional and drama queen ever . I don't know also if her boyfriend can take it if he will heard another drama from her.
. I don't know also if her boyfriend can take it if he will heard another drama from her. @obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
16 May 12
The best part of an ex-lover is being a very good friend ever, as in my case. i would consider the relationship to be more intact as the commitment is gone and you are able to talk more easily on certain issues that surely would create a problem if we were lovers.
1 person likes this
@freymind (1351)
• Philippines
16 May 12
In my personal experience its the opposite. I am now married to my best friend who became my boyfriend for 7 years prior of getting married to each other. From the very start of our romance until now were still best of friends. Nothing changed at all. Maybe I got lucky and blessed that the partner God has given me can be all in. 
It shouldn't bother your friend to tell what she thinks to her boyfriend since he already knows her right? Its going to be hard and burdensome if she keeps on thinking what ifs and their relationship will not be open. She needs to be confident with herself and if her boyfriend loves her then he will accept whatever she is.
It shouldn't bother your friend to tell what she thinks to her boyfriend since he already knows her right? Its going to be hard and burdensome if she keeps on thinking what ifs and their relationship will not be open. She needs to be confident with herself and if her boyfriend loves her then he will accept whatever she is. 1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
16 May 12
I'm glad that your lucky to have a bestfriend and a hubby. I envy those who are lucky have men with their side. I'mm not that lucky as much.
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
16 May 12
hi lyn,
There is nothing wrong having a relationship with your bestfriend but the downside of this is what is the feelings are gone when you both end up the relationship you also end up the friendship, because some say friends can be lovers, ex-lovers can't be friends.
Sometimes there are confused feelings we can fall in love with our bestfriend because we can share and say everything with them.
I hope I made a sense comment here 
happy mylotting
happy mylotting
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
16 May 12
Of course you always have...
The problem is they are in a relationship now, they been bestfriend since hisgschool days and now they fell in love. The girl seems she lost her bestfriend and she can't tell him anymore of her problems.
The problem is they are in a relationship now, they been bestfriend since hisgschool days and now they fell in love. The girl seems she lost her bestfriend and she can't tell him anymore of her problems.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
29 May 12
I agree with you that most relationships start as friendships. Then they branch out into a deeper relationship. I think it is important to start out as friends. I think that will help the relationship a great deal when things get difficult.
@alutka (211)
•
16 May 12
I agree, it is imperative to separate the role of friend kochanka.Nie impossible to reconcile the long run, although we hope your boyfriend is not always well are you treating it as przyjaciela.Miedzy friends are quite different relationships, clean zmecone nothing, and the beloved this man which involves us more intimate relationship, it is not worth to spend glebsze.czasami of cool friendship for a while, but later is difficult to return to the old relationship.
friend I cannot understand what your saying.
@ONLYHOPE (189)
• Philippines
28 May 12
hai
it was happen to us,we became first close friend, we are very open to each other we really known each other before we felt in loved. The only problem we are facing sometimes was when she's thinking that i'm cheating her, but of course I'm always reminding her that she knows me well than others..and the problem will solved immediately.
have a nice day
