Cool girls..
By Adelicia
@Adelicia (19)
Philippines
May 27, 2012 2:06am CST
Hey guys. I was wondering if you could help me in my problem.
You see. Just before the school year ended, me and my bestfriend wanted to join the school's orchestra. We talked to the conductor saying that we would like to join his orchestra next school year. And I was very happy because now I get to be in the same extra-curricular activity with my bestfriend. Because we didn't get a chance to spend time together. So the orchestra had summer practices and newbies like us were recquired to attend it. So I told her that we would have our first meeting in the orchestra already. But she said she had to go somewhere. And I said, "Okay, I'll see you on the next practice." And then I reminded her again about the schedule. And she suddenly said that she couldn't join the orchestra afterall because the schedule was tight. So I felt sad because I thought that we could do something together this coming school year. But everytime I opened my facebook there would be a picture of her and her other bestfriend hanging out together and blah blah. And everytime I tried to chat with her she would reply coldy. Or she wouldn't even reply at all.
Is it just me or she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore? Everytime I ask her to hang out with me or something she'll say she's busy but everytime her other bestfriend asks her to hang out she accepts it. I don't know if we're not yet close enough to be called "bestfriends", because we just started being close last October. And she's been bestfriends with her other bestfriend since she was nursery. And no doubt her other bestfriend is alot more prettier and cooler than me. I don't know if it's favoritism or something else.
Please help me on how to deal with this problem. :(
6 responses
@venkit (2955)
• India
27 May 12
You should not fix someone as best friend and then try to make them as best friend.
Just hang out with some friends who you can enjoy the moments and the friends who enjoy your presence..
Then you will get the best friend automatically.
If someone is not ready to have friendship with you, leave them, let them enjoy what they like, and you too enjoy what you like with someone who like you..
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
27 May 12
i think you have to move beyond the concept of best friend. once you keep on holding on to that tag or label, you will keep on pursuing something that is supposed to be a given, rather than achieved. do not pursue your "best" friend to be such, it has to happen in a normal way without being forced. let her spend some time on her own, if she comes back, then she realizes that you are indeed her "best" friend.
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
27 May 12
With girls it seems that even the best of friendships can turn into a competition. Two may be company, but three is far worse than a crowd. With three girls, there will at times be strife moving towards two in and one out. Sorry to hear this for your situation. I know it hurts, but I have often been advised that young people can be some of the meanest on earth in the way they treat each other.
@zaga_cleuth (1407)
• Philippines
27 May 12
If that's the case, don't let it bugs you. Do your thing like you used to do. Don't be so affected because of this situation. If she doesn't want to go with you anymore or you feel like she's not treating you the way she used to, then its ok, you don't have to really insist something to her. Just let it be. Because if a person really cares about you, or if a person really considers you as somebody whatever you do, and you need she's there.
Just stay what you are. Be friendly with her still. Because, if you only think that she's not acting as a best friend just because she's not going out or hanging around with you, well its not the basis.
Based on my experience, sometimes you have to loosen the ties between you and your friends, for them to realize that they have the best person ever who will remain as faithful as they are no matter what. In fact, after that, she'll miss you and you'll miss each other so much that when you hang out again you have a lot of things to talk about.
Best friends are like boyfriends/girlfriends. You have to give time for them to think too. To be happy the way they want to. In the end, it is still their best partner who'll hear the best stories.
And you know what's best in being best friends? Because, it has no ending. As long as we keep in touch though far apart.
If I were you, if you enjoy orchestra, and you meet new friends there then go. Enjoy. Seize the moment. Then if you and your best friend meet. You have something to share to her too.
And oops..
Don't forget to pray.
That is the best advice I could give you.
:)
@musicloverfriend (1465)
• India
28 May 12
I had a best friend, she meant to lot to me. So I was very possessive about her. So whenever she tried to talk to someone else, I would stop and talk to her. So , I think, she was kind of irritated with my behavior. As a result, we became less close and another girl became more close and now she likes her more than me. 
Yeah, but I'm used to it and now she and I are in different schools and never going to be together.
What I meant to say is, do not expect 'this that' from your friend, thinking she's your best friend. If other friend is her childhood best friend, I think she likes her more. But give her time and let her understand how much she means to you. 
I know she'll definitely understand.
Yeah, but I'm used to it and now she and I are in different schools and never going to be together.
What I meant to say is, do not expect 'this that' from your friend, thinking she's your best friend. If other friend is her childhood best friend, I think she likes her more. But give her time and let her understand how much she means to you. I know she'll definitely understand.
@craptacularxd (84)
• Philippines
28 May 12
I don't think that she doesn't want to be friends with you since you have been close since October (is it last year?), so the concept of the "bestfriend" isn't there since you have been friends for months. Probably, she's more accepting her other bestfriend much more since there is a probability that they are friends since childhood. It's not favoritism afterall and not about coolness. Don't force yourself to be her bestfriend. Sorry if it is offending. Understanding the situation would do and try to move on and find a prospect for a friend. There's a lot of people in this world to be friend with afterall.
