Darlin' You're Lonely
By syramoon
@syramoon (654)
United States
May 31, 2012 12:55pm CST
After an hour of crying on the phone to my dad about everything that's been bothering me for weeks, from fights with friends, to having my gallbladder taken out less than two weeks ago, to health problems, to my up coming bone graft surgery, that was his diagnoses. And I'm still not sure what to think. I do have a few good friends here who help me with what they can, some things no one can help me with, I mean it's not like someone else go have my surgery for me, or put me under some magical spell so it isn't needed. People try to comfort me, but when the facts are there in black and white I do at times feel like nothing will ever get better. He went on to tell me I needed to get out and date, and about a guy back home whom I dated and broke up with because I found out he was using cocaine, and how he went to rehab and all of that. I don't think he understood why it made me more upset, the last thing I need right now is a relationship to deal with. I listened to him though, and told him I'd think about calling the guy - which I'm not going to do, but dad's been sick a lot since his weight loss surgery and I don't want him worrying about me, which is why I was putting off calling him until I felt better, but he called me this morning saying my aunt called him because she's worried about me. But after talking to him, I feel worse not better. Just like with most of the doctors, I feel like he had it in his head what was wrong with me before I even spoke, and there for everything I said meant nothing.
3 people like this
6 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
2 Jun 12
I think dear old dad thinks you need a guy to look after you. Wrong! But to him a guy would be support. But what he doesn't get is that you need him for support. I'm so sorry. I hope things do get better . That you have more good days than bad.
@syramoon (654)
• United States
2 Jun 12
Yes, my dad is a bit old fashioned. Born, raised, and says he'll die in the same small one horse town. But in some ways I adore him for it. I've always accepted that he'll never understand the way my mind works. But I love him anyway. Thanks for your well wishes, it might sound funny, but talking to all of you on mylot, always brightens my day even when the only posts I make are rants. lol
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
2 Jun 12
I understand. You get to say what you want , the way you want and then move on. With offline conversations you get interrupted or ignored. But here people read it And the respond
@cotruelove (1016)
• Denver, Colorado
31 May 12
Hello and thanks for the discussion,
I've had health issues all my life, and everyone seems to think having a relationship is the cure. Well, I've had them and it doesn't make me feel better. In fact, many times, I'm better functioning alone.
What works for me is to not focus on my problems but find and try to "help" other people. By that I mean, like take someone to the store who has no car. Watch the child of someone who is raising a child alone. Talking to someone elderly who feels neglected by their family. It gets me out of my problems and gives me a reason to appreciate where I am in life and what I can and cannot do. I've heard it called an "attitude of gratitude."
It is wonderful to have family care about you regardless of whether their advice is good or bad. I know when my mom was alive, conversations always felt one way. If I told her a problem I was dealing with, she had a solution and there was no discussion about anything other than her solution. Just the way parents seem to be to me. Perhaps when I'm in that position, which I am with my son, I sound just like your dad in not listening or considering your solution, but I hope not. Sometimes I think the most valuable thing a parent can learn to do is just listen to their child no matter how old they are and let them talk through it and find their own solution.
Hope you feel better soon and can get back into the main stream of life.
@ersmommy1 (12587)
• United States
1 Jun 12
Sometimes it's hard for dad's not to be able to fix problems. He could just feel a little helpless. I am happy you could at least vent your problems to you dad. I have never had an adult conversation with mine. I do understand how frustrating it is to feel like you didn't get your point across.
@Dominique25 (9460)
• United States
1 Jun 12
Your dad has your best interest at heart. He doesn't want you to be alone and to feel that you have to suffer all by yourself. Even though it is something you definitely don't want to pursue right now he is just trying to help and think of a way to get you the support that he thinks you need. Take things one step at a time. When it comes to a lot of health problems that is really all we can do when we are overwhelmed by them.
@WakeUpKitty (8691)
• Netherlands
31 May 12
I all sounds so familiar to me, people who try to help you out, make you feel a bit better. I can understand that you are not really in the mood to date or start a relationship (it cost a lot of energy, something you don't have now), still.. I think it's exactly what your dad tries too. He is worried about you and you can't change that. I think he is trying (in his own way) to comfort you. So he is telling your about what you have done, who you met, what you could do, so you won't keep thinking on what is going on now.
I think if it doesn't help you, you should tell him, but also be able to tell him what it is you really need. Since this is the only thing you can know. I wish you strength and blessings.
@mercvict (127)
• India
1 Jun 12
Hi syramoon, nothing to worry. Just think that whatever is happening, is for your good only and one day, you will thank God for everything. Don't be upset, but be bold enough to overcome everything, make your dad happy and do things that makes both of you happy. All good things will come searching for you.
