sometimes using facebook makes me depressed
By katrinapaz
@katrinapaz (2436)
Philippines
June 10, 2012 3:29am CST
when I log into facebook, I can see that my friends are very happy and have a lot of activities in their lives. One graduated from her masteral degree with honors and some are going to places that I have never been before and make the impression that they have a lot of money, while here I am sitting and wondering why I dont have much luck in life. do you feel the same way too? sometimes I dont log into facebook because of this.
3 people like this
23 responses
@Suebee (2013)
• Canada
11 Jun 12
For the most part I don't feel this way, but on occasion I do. What makes me feel down when I go on to FB is when I see that my ex-husband's girlfriend posts stuff on the walls of my son's girlfriends. You see, I live way too far away to visit my son's more than once a year but my ex and his g/f live right in the same city. Therefore she sees my kids and their g/f a lot more often than I do and yes, it makes me jealous. Ok, I said it. I am not generally a jealous person but it makes me jealous when I see the g/f posting stuff like how she had a wonderful time with MY sons and their girlfriends, how she had a lovely dinner with them, or thanking them for their help. I know I shouldn't feel that way but sometimes I can't help it. I should be happy that they live in the same city and get along well but sometimes the mama bear in me comes out. I'm working on it...
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
hi there suebee. I do feel you have a right to be jealous becuase they are able to do things together whereas you are kind of far away. I am happy that you are working on it so that you are able to accept the situation. or maybe you should also live closer to them so that you can visit them more often? i am sure all things would work together for good.
@allknowing (130070)
• India
20 Jun 12
Hi Sue...
I have a friend who migrated to Canada years ago. She normally sends a 'Christmas letter' each year and believe you me, she has no bad days in her life - happy, happy, happy. I think a Christmas letter should contain all the joys and sorrows. I don't like to receive here mail. Why should one hide one's miseries
@Suebee (2013)
• Canada
20 Jun 12
@ katrinapaz It is not possible for me to live closer to them right now. I don't know if you are familiar with Canada or not, but I live in Ontario and they live in New Brunswick (a different province). I have work and my life here and they have theirs where they are. Things may change though as both my sons have now finished their post-secondary school and are looking for jobs in their fields. They are not opposed to relocating for a job so you never know. Maybe they will end up living closer to me.
As for having the right to be jealous, well, jealousy is a negative emotion and I don't like feeling negative.
@ allknowing You are right, one should not hide their miseries or sorrows but it's not good to dwell on them either. I am one of those people who believes in the law of attraction, that like attracts like, therefore I try not to be too negative or have too many negative emotions or thoughts. As I said, there is some good in the situation. I'm glad that they get along. I wouldn't be happy if the DIDN'T get along and she wasn't nice to my boys. My sons also get along with my new husband, which I am very grateful for, so it only makes sense to me that instead of being jealous, I should also be grateful that they get along with their father's girlfriend.
I can understand how you don't like getting a happy, happy, happy letter from your friend. Is it possible that she IS just a really happy person?
@Yestheypayme2dothis (7874)
• United States
28 Jun 12
Facebook can depress me, too, but for a reason different from yours. Many, if not most, of the people on Facebook play games with your mind. Today, people are very competitive. They want to have more money than you. They want to have a better looking man or woman than you. They want to have a better education than you. They want to have a nicer house than you do. They want to have smarter children than you. Let's not forget a better job than you. Better everything! You cannot believe everything they say. Most of it is one story after another. They never tell you anything negative because they want the world to think they did better. They have no problems. Everything is perfect. Guess what? It's not like that. It's a game.
@Yestheypayme2dothis (7874)
• United States
28 Jun 12
I do, too. And I don't know what the answer is.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
it is okay. we are alive because we have a mission to know what the answer is to questions that surround our lives. happy mylotting!
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
yes the world is very competitive these days and you have to stand out so that you can be seen but others are standing much much taller that they would do everything just for the fame. i dont get it. I wish we can return to the simpler and happier lives we had.
1 person likes this
@allamgirl (2140)
• Philippines
14 Jun 12
Sometimes I feel that way too. I get jealous of other people's achievements, and would sometimes feel like a loser. But don't feel so bad about it, you can't have done that badly in your life. And think about it this way, if they can do it, then why can't you? I saw on my classmate's profile that she graduated from MBA. I thought if she can do it, then I can do it too, so I made it an inspiration and enrolled myself last year. I am now in my second year. So don't feel so bad about it, take it as a motivation for yourself.
@allamgirl (2140)
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
Hello Katrina! Good to know that somehow I was able to help you. :)
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
hi there allamgirl! I am also taking up an MBA and I also saw a classmate who took a photo of her and her MBA diploma. thank you for letting me view that as an inspiration to myself for achieving more. happy mylotting!
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
26 Jul 12
this is the reason why I always come back to mylot. we have a lot of opinions being shared and opinions make us learn things we never knew before.
@allknowing (130070)
• India
11 Jun 12
I almost started a topic here to find out if everyone else feels the same as I do when I pour out my woes and someone says they too have the same woes and hearing this that makes my day. Honestly when we know that others too have problems that kind of eases our sufferings a wee bit. What say?
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
yes we are able to know that they are not too perfect and pretty much our lives are the same as theirs so it kinds of eases us. we are not left alone to suffer but also at least we know people are also undergoing the same situations.
@Mashnn (4501)
•
10 Jun 12
I am contented with what I have accomplished so far and I never feel less just because someone else is doing so much better than I am. I believe the best thing is not to spend your days thinking about others but to work towards reaching where you want to be.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
11 Jun 12
hi there mashnn! thank you for that wonderful statement. I will try to be happy of what I have, what I have done and focus only on myself and not on other people's achievements. I want to focus on where I want to be.
@Mashnn (4501)
•
12 Jun 12
I believe you can and focus more on yourself. The truth of the matter is that most of those people you see smiling and talking good about their goods lives, they are struggling with other problems and talking about their achievements, is the only way of making them feel good.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
14 Jun 12
thank you so much mashnn for giving me a different view on all these things. yes, other people bragging about their good lives can make themselves feel good amidst the storms that they are passing through.
@savagecabbage (1216)
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
You do not have to jealous of your friends. i bet you have your own thing too :) You should not feel bad when others are achieving success and doing what they want. Instead, since they are your friends, you should be happy for them and support them. I am sure if you have an achievement, they will also congratulate and support you. have a positive outlook in life and don't be jealous. Do your own thing. Dream big and you will finally achiever your goal!
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
26 Jul 12
hi there savage! thank you for pushing me up when I need it. I know that I have to get into the positive outlook in life and do my own business so that I can achieve what I would want. thank you so much and happy mylotting!
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
11 Jun 12
Sometimes I feel that way too, however, I think it's not healthy to think of it that way because you'll just be depressed and sad. Perhaps you should view it in a different light. Perhaps you should think that they're actually helping you see those places.
Yes, there are times when I feel that they're luckier, but what I usually do is to count my blessing too. There are a lot of things that people can't post in Facebook. Perhaps they are sad in some ways that you are happy with. Count your blessings and avoid being envious.
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
hi there laydee. I should start counting my blessings as what you said. maybe you are right that there are a lot things that cannot be posted in facebook. if I count my blessings I will see that I am not unfortunate after all and will be less envious about others achievements.
@nagatron123456 (888)
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
That is true, before I felt the way you feel now and that is because I haven't achieved much. All you have to do is stand up and do something so you won't feel like this. Do something which you think you are good at then make it your way towards success in that way you won't feel insecure.
Don't make it as a down point instead make it as your inspiration so you can work hard and always inspired. Don't feel bad about what you have and what you accomplished instead do something about it to make your accomplishments move on to the next level. Be competitive enough.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
thank you for the positive view nagatron. i am currently doing what you adviced. I am working hard to do something that someday I can be proud of and to be successful. I will be competitive enough and still enjoy life.
@redvakaurvaki (4216)
• Indonesia
20 Jun 12
sometimes I feel so, but nothing to worry, dear, everything will be alright. life is ups and down and facebook tend to be trash basket to throw the silly thing, sometimes they don't tell the truth too. may be we are unlucky for particular thing and now, but in the future, everything can be fixed
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
thank you for the optimism red! yes I do believe that everything will be alright and each one of us will have our own ups and downs. thank you and happy mylotting!
@thewonderboy (7501)
• India
23 Jun 12
I may not have a feeling that. I will always try my best to get in touch with them and I will be more happy when I come to know that they are enjoying with their family 
. But, what makes me depressed in facebook is the unnecessary posts and tagging of my friends .
. But, what makes me depressed in facebook is the unnecessary posts and tagging of my friends .@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
hi there wonder boy! I am also happy about the goings on of my friends life and also eager to know what they have been up to. i just feel kind of sad that I am not able to be like them or do what they have done. I am the same with you, I dont like the unnecessary tagging
@viji_v2 (727)
• India
11 Jun 12
Once I felt that when I joined in facebook at first. Later I learned it is not the true happiness in the life. And also they seemed to be not like what they publish in facebook wall. Everything is just a show to the world that they are the happiest person in the world. But they are too like us. Only they are showing themselves to others which we rarely do. It is better to keep aside those thoughts, or we are depressing ourselves by comparing with others.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
yes I do find it depressing too when we compare ourselves to others so what I do is that I dont log in that frequently to facebook and also I think that what they are showing are only a glimpse of what their true lives are. thank you viji!
@IAmNena (178)
• Philippines
11 Jun 12
I feel the same way too sometimes.Whenever I see my facebook friend post picture that are very photogenic.They're much prettier than me and makes me feel more uglier and insecure.But then I realized that I can change if I wanted too,You should get a life of your own and after you've achieved something you can give your Facebook profile a boost.Just don't use facebook too much.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
yes nena, I dont use facebook that much because I am kind of busy with my work and o mylot. maybe you are right. i should first live my life and when I have achieved something I will also give my facebook a boost. thank you and happy mylotting!
@Lmfisher666 (820)
• United States
15 Jun 12
I feel what you are saying. I have had the same feelings after logging onto facebook before.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
hi there lmfisher! you mentioned that you feel that before? how about now? have you overcomed it already? i hope you can share how you did it. happy mylotting
@personalspit (24)
•
20 Jun 12
it's pretty much the most depressing place on earth but we now live in a world where we can't live without it. i'd do anything to kick the habit. i'd chew through my own scrotum, but there's no getting around it, it's our world now, and it's only going to get worse.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
yes, it has been the greatest invention to be able to connect with our old and new friends and our families who are away from us but then it also is making us more out of reach because of their bragging.
@blummus (451)
• United States
10 Jun 12
That happens to me now and then, but I keep in mind that we only see what others post -- the sad and boring times may not be posted in public in places like Facebook. I like to post the good stuff to entertain others instead of complaining and bringing others down. Maybe it's time for you to get away from the computer more and do some of the things you can do, too.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
15 Jun 12
hi there blummus! yes, i think some of my friends also post stuff to entertain and to reflect on too. I am not on facebook all the time. I only usually spend 5 minutes on it but I spend hours and hours here on mylot where I like it best! happy mylotting!
@narnia007 (1050)
• India
10 Jun 12
Hey.I have the same feeling when I see the profile of my ex-girlfriend.She seems to be so happy with her new boyfriend roaming to all new places and all.But guess what,she has not yet cleared her college exams where her college friends have completed a year before and place in big companies and so like so many things that I came to hear from her best friend.You can't always trust what a person is having or enjoying in life from his facebook profile where only small part of his life is shown.It may even be fake sometimes to such extent that they no other job or friends but to while away their time in facebook creating stories.My facebook profile does not have anything like I am enjoying,but in real life I am satisfied with what I have and I know I would more in future.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
15 Jun 12
wow. this is so much inspiring narnia! yes I would also invest in real life where I can be satisfied with my situation and also the future situation. I do hope your girlfriend will wake up from her roaming around and face her exams or maybe she is having a good time before she faces those. thank you so much for the inspiration!
@beenice2 (2967)
• Sackville, New Brunswick
10 Jun 12
Facebook is not a place to give you a boost. Yes it seems like everybody in our relatives has lots of money because they travel a lot and have lots of "friends". But who tells us that they are having a happy life? Yes Facebook can be a downer.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
15 Jun 12
hi there beenice. i guess it is both an upper and a downer. whatever the common posts are in your timeline. everybody seems to want to let others know that they are happy but then it is only a small picture of their lives.
@ChandraNalaar (76)
• United States
10 Jun 12
I don't feel too badly when I go on facebook even though my life isn't quite where I want it to be, because my friends list is full of people from different parts of my life...my family, old friends, current friends, my boyfriend's family, people I barely know...and they're all doing different things, at different points in their lives. So for me at least, I'm lucky enough not to be bombarded with tons and tons of achievements and successes that would make me jealous. As much as I want my friends to succeed, maybe not like that, haha.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
15 Jun 12
you are lucky chandra for having a lot of different people in your list of friends. at least there is diversity there. I also think that is good so that you are not focusing on a few people who just want to brag about their nice lives. maybe I will invite a lot of people on my list and see it for myself!
@aribdee (133)
• United States
10 Jun 12
Man you don't have to be jealous of what others have. Be contented with your life and always try to be happy. If you saw your friends happy then you should be happy too because they are your friends. Just do your best in order to be successful in life. Don't think too much of what they have and just prove to yourself that you can do much better than them.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
15 Jun 12
thank you aribdee for boosting me up. I will try and be contented with my life and also not to compare my life with my friends. I will be happy for them and what is happening to them because they are my friends! thank you and happy mylotting!
@Chijara (57)
• Philippines
11 Jun 12
I think your envy with them but then, you have your own life. Be contented in what you have. You have something that they don't have maybe this is not the right time for you luck. God has a bigger plans for you. Don't be depress because it make you ugly and you'll fell stress. I suggest you play facebook games so that you'll enjoy facebook.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
hi there chijara! thank you for the suggestion. maybe I need a diversional activity so that I can focus on something else and not be envy with my friends and their achievements. I dont want to be ugly and feel stress neither so I need to be contented with what I have. happy mylotting!
