Do you forgive cheaters?

@oindy54 (3445)
India
June 12, 2012 10:57am CST
Is it easy for you to do so or is it that you cannot forgive a cheater? Be it in a relationship or friendship or anything. Please share your thoughts.
4 people like this
22 responses
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
13 Jun 12
If it is a sweet cheating, i will ignore and forgive. But it is a serious cheating, i never do forgive for it.
1 person likes this
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
What do you exactly mean by sweet cheating my friend?
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
20 Jun 12
Hmmm...sweet cheating...it means it is a cheat but it is not harm to anyone, anything...and i call it is sweet cheating.
• United States
13 Jun 12
No, I don't. I hate cheaters so much. The people who got cheated on don't deserve to get cheated on. ): I see a lot of break-ups in my area, mainly because of cheaters. :l Sometimes, I just want to do something about it, but can't because it ain't my business. But just watch, the cheater will so become the cheated on. :l
1 person likes this
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
I too hate cheaters. You are right. No one should be cheated. It is better to have an open conversation if you have the inclination to cheat. I think all cheaters should get back their share. That will be the best lesson for them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
13 Jun 12
I believe if you forgive a cheater will will continually be forgiving. I beleieve most cheaters keep on cheating. Think of the vd's out there. Forgive them but cut them loose.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
Hi, Yes you are right.They have the inclination to do the same action again.But what do you mean by vd,my friend?
@megamatt (14294)
• United States
13 Jun 12
In time anything can be potentially forgiven. Although with any kind of betrayal, you are always going to be forever looking over your shoulder. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just waiting for the crime to happen again. You will never truly look at the person who has betrayed you the same way ever again. It is rather sad. As much as we think we should give others another chance, to practice forgiveness and all that stuff, it is easier said than done. There are just times where the betrayal is too great and we have a huge problem. There are many times where time does heal many wounds. But sadly it does not have all wounds.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
Very true my friend.This is the fact that no matter if wounds heal, our memory always haunts us. We become extra careful with that person who has once cheated us. We are extra cautious. We try to anticipate when he might do the same thing a second time. This really takes a toll on us. It is very depressing indeed.
• United States
13 Jun 12
Forgiveness is definitely not an easy thing to do. However, it's needed to let go of things and move on. To answer the question, it's not easy for me to forgive, but I try to do it eventually. You can also forgive people and not allow them to be a part of your life also. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you are giving them a pass back into your life.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
Yes it is very hard to forgive.What would you do if your closest ones cheated you?Would you not allow them back into your life?
@einerb (97)
• Philippines
14 Jun 12
Maybe I can forgive the one who cheat in me, if he/she ask for it that truly comes from the heart.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
Yes if the person is really sorry then we can forgive.But we have to see how true that person is to his claim.
@sukumar794 (5040)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
13 Jun 12
People who cheat go back on the trust you put on them. To be trustworthy one should necessarily be maintaining his integrity and truthfulness. But once someone is bent upon cheating out on purpose it is unpardonable. Such lot of people deserve rigorous punishment.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
Sometimes they can really misuse the fact that we have forgiven them.They then cheat again.They never stop.Such actions can never be forgiven.Many people cheat on intention.They enjoy a kind of sadistic pleasure in hurting others.
@gerald_lian (2188)
• Australia
12 Jun 12
For me, it really depends on the type of cheating and the severity of the cheating. I think I would easily be able to pardon and forgive mild sort of cheating, but if it was moderate to severe sort of cheating, then it will definitely take a lot of effort to pardon and forgive then. God has taught us to forgive everyone regardless of how "unforgivable" their actions might be, just as how God has forgiven us for our sins. But of course, I am a human and I fall short of that commandment sometimes, but I nevertheless I try to forgive everyone. Sorry if my response has sounded too theological!
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
16 Jun 12
No your response does not sound theological.Rather it is quite logical.However as you said, as human beings sometimes it is difficult to forgive. More so it is difficult to forget a traumatic experience. Specially in case of love relationships, cheating is very painful.It just takes the life out of you.As someone suggested above,I think it is much better to tell the other person openly that you are not finding interest in him or her rather than doing something and then being caught.
@mentalward (14692)
• United States
12 Jun 12
Life has taught me that the old addage is true, "once a cheater, always a cheater." Oh, there are exceptions to every rule but, for the most part, whatever it is in a person that allows them to cheat in the first place is always there. I was cheated on by my first husband. I never did know exactly how many women he cheated on me with but it was a lot. He simply could not, nor apparently did he not WANT to, turn any woman down. He was very good looking (Johnny Depp-ish) and women did throw themselves at him. He never said no. He even flirted with them while he was with me! It shows that they have absolutely no respect or love for the person they are committed to (or supposed to be committed to). They have no personal morals. They care about no one but themselves. Oh, someone who cheats on a test or on their income taxes isn't in the same category but it does say a lot about their character; they cannot be trusted. So, no, I do not and will never forgive a cheater.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
I am very sorry to hear that you have been cheated like this in life.I hope you are happy now with whoever you love.Actually this is a fact.Most good-looking men are overconfident about their looks and use it as a weapon to lure women.Not to mention that these days women are so nasty that even when they know someone is in a relationship,they do not hesitate to try and flirt or even cross the limit with a person,specially if he is good-looking.I have this same problem in my life.My boyfriend is extremely good-looking and I am in constant fear that he will do something.Of course he has already cheated me which is why I opened this discussion in the first place.I tried to forgive him after the passage of a year but the thing is that I still cannot forget his action.It is very painful for me.
@sender621 (14897)
• United States
13 Jun 12
Being able to forgive someone is a huge part of the healing process in any relationship. We are all human and we all make mistakes in our lives. cheating is a huge mistake that may be intentional or accidental. even a cheater needs forgiveness. If we can not forgive a cheater, then what does that say for the humanity in us?
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
I have to agree with what you have stated.I have forgiven and seen that it really does repair the relationship.However,if you have been cheated once,the trauma that is created has quite a lasting impact.And even after forgiving it keeps recurring and we are reminded of those times.We can definitely forgive but the question is if we can forget or not the fact that we have been cheated.
• India
12 Jun 12
according to me, the answer depends on the type of relation. You can always forgive your close ones. If one cant forgive his closed ones there is no point in calling them friends or family. Caring for them, being there for them and forgiving them makes a relation stronger and better. I would always forgive my friend or family when they do something wrong.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
I am glad to know that you have this sort of an attitude.There is nothing greater than forgiveness and you are right in saying that we should forgive our near and dear ones.However,if they keep repeating their action then it is very traumatic for the person who is being cheated.
@Harold_ks (1673)
12 Jun 12
Maybe it depends on the gravity of cheating he/she has done. If just a minor one, it might still deserve forgiveness, as long as he/she will promise not to do it again. But if cheating is major one or brought a huge amount of damage, it will really be hard to forgive. Good day!
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
Very well said my friend! It certainly depends on how serious the level of cheating is.
• Philippines
13 Jun 12
My opinion about that is forgive those cheaters on first time but if they repeat cheating again i will not forgive themtheres a saying "one is enough two is too much"
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
I agree wholeheartedly with your opinion.Thanks for sharing.Have a great day!
12 Jun 12
If my girlfriend cheated on me, I wouldn't forgive her. I think that cheating is something that should never happen in the first place - if you cheat, you show that you were never truly loyal to the person you say you "love". Cheating on someone is a double-edged sword. You get a new person to love, but lose your old lover and also lose alot of reputation.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
19 Jun 12
My boyfriend cheated on me but I forgave him.The problem is that I could not forget what he has done.Yes cheating should not happen.It ends your good reputation forever and makes people suspect you for all times.
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
7 Oct 12
I would forgive them but I would not forget and I would probably end things with them . I will forgive because I am doing that for me and not that mean person . Cheaters will never prosper in any way .
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
19 Jun 12
Well, I can forgive and forget a cheater and let that cheater being a cheater all the time and go to hell in the end
• United States
12 Jun 12
So i dont really understand how friendship can have cheaters but ok. Well now onto relationships, i dont really ever forget cheaters and i will always remember it and how it went down and me confronting someone about it. One day while at a theme park my boyfriend asked me to hold his phone and it was buzzing like people were texting him and what not so i looked at it and it was a girl texting him so i was reading through it and they were talking nasty to eachother and iconfronted him and he said they never did anything and i was so mad and i said it doesnt matter if you ever did anything its the point that your talking like that to some other girl and that is not right you dont do that in a realtionship. Well now i have caught him about 4 times do this and its so hard to get through it and not understand why he does it. He says he does it when he is mad at me and what not, but i dont think thats the truth at all and i just sit back and i guess you can say take it as it is everyday.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
16 Jun 12
I am very sorry to hear that you have had to deal with such situations in life.Men are so incorrigible.I wonder why they cannot be loyal to and interested in a single woman. I will share my story with you.My boyfriend once left behind his cellphone in my house on charging mode.I saw some of his messages (a conversation with a girl) and was horrified.When I confronted him he completely denied having done anything.Yet the messages were there for me to see.I had cut my hand and done a lot of bad things then.But slowly as he apologized I became normal.However to be honest I could never forgive him, not till date.It is always there at the back of my mind that he had done such a thing.Though I am in the relationship,I cannot ever stop suspecting him and this is quite painful for me. So are you still in the relationship?Do you suspect him always?I think it is only natural to suspect cheaters.
@inertia4 (28001)
• United States
21 Jun 12
I have a hard time doing that. I was married for 17 years and my ex now cheated once years ago. To this day I have not forgotten it. Although at the time we worked it out, stupid me, and things did seem to be getting better until she did it again. So I will never forgive anyone who cheats. I gave the benefit of the doubt and got screwed again. It's just not worth dealing with cheaters. Cut them off.
@alutka (211)
12 Jun 12
in the long run it makes no sensu.Kiedys wybacvzyc someone I tried to a close, who is still cheating, krecil.Nie I gave advice, still involuntarily come back to these scams, has focused on wszystko.A this man has never changed, still cheated, still waded in it all, you can not change the impostor, so quickly does not stop, it takes ciagle.Wiec if only they can avoid such people, because you only przyspoza trouble.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
12 Jun 12
I have difficulty understanding some of your terms.But I can understand what you have tried to say overall.And I agree with you.Some people do not ever change and they keep cheating.Such people cannot be forgiven.
• Malaysia
12 Jun 12
I am a little bit in between, depending who is the person who cheated me. Also i am kinda like a person who doesn't really think so much about what happened unless someone brought it up so you can say i am easily to forget stuff. But if the cheat is on a bigger scale. it is kinda hard to forget but still i do forgive.after all it will make my heart a lot more peaceful that way. learn to forgive, it is peaceful to your heart.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
16 Jun 12
I have to agree with you that if we forgive it will give us a lot of peace.However if one's partner has cheated and if you really love that person,then it becomes very painful to survive with that.Even if we forgive for a one time case,we cannot be too sure that the person will not repeat his or her action.That is why once a person cheats he becomes an object of suspicion.I really think people should not cheat in relationships.It is very traumatic for the other person, specially for someone who really loves the other one.Automatically even after forgiving we cannot get peace thinking when that person might do the same thing again.