Would you tell them? I did.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
United States
June 13, 2012 10:19am CST
When something rubs you the wrong way , something that may seem innocent, do you tell the other person? I do now. before I would just grim and bear it. I thought I didn't have the right to correct another. but now I will , politely of course. How about you? Would you tell them?
3 people like this
12 responses
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
13 Jun 12
Hello sarahruthbeth22
It's according to what it is. Sometimes something will rub me the wrong way and I ask myself why and realize that I am being petty and it's really my problem and not theirs. Then I won't say anything.
Sometimes I will reason that grace is the best option, and again, I won't say anything.
But there are times when I will say something. This has only happened as I've gotten older. I am more likely to say something in defense of another person, but there are occasions when, yes, I will say something. Usually if the person is evil, just plain rude, or insensitive.
3 people like this
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
13 Jun 12
Also, there are many many times when something rubs me the wrong way but I also realize that it has nothing to do with me or anyone else. I simply may not like it. In these cases, I say nothing. What business is if of mine? It's their business.
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@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
13 Jun 12
This was a close friend and it was a pet peeve . That is why I felt comfortable enough to tell him. If it were a causal friend , I would have let it go.
2 people like this
@Lorden (348)
• South Africa
13 Jun 12
I believe I will tell them, yes.
I also believe though in picking your battles. Don't just be a difficult person who has a problem with everything other people do. Only say something if it's really important for you to make them stop doing what you cannot take.
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@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
14 Jun 12
He is a very dear friend and he didn't mean to push a button That is why I told him and I explained it thoroughly. I didn't scream or B!tch just said it nicely.
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
16 Jun 12
I'm very rarely offended and pretty easygoing with things, so this doesn't happen too often. At work, if something like that is said, I just leave it be. With family and friends, I will let them know. At work it doesn't matter as much to me since they are just people I work with. It's not like I hang out with them outside of work. Although there is one exception. One of my coworkers I also consider to be a friend, but we aren't super close, and she gets it anyway. I usually don't have to lay down the law too much! With my husband, I will always be open and honest with him. If something he says bothers me, I'll let him know right off the bat.
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@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
17 Jun 12
It was a very close friend and I hope he understood.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
6 Jul 12
That's what has happened! We are still good friends. It was a pet peeve , he didn't know about. Minor stuff!
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
2 Jul 12
In a way, I would feel that if someone were that good of a friend, they should've known what to say and what not to say to me, but it doesn't always work that way. It's kind of like one of your previous discussions where women just expect men to read their minds and know when they're upset without telling them. If you hadn't said anything to your dear friend (and you'd just assumed s/he already knew), then s/he either wouldn't have said it in the first place or s/he would've never known it upset you. I believe in being open and honest, so I'm glad you handled it the way you did. I don't think you did anything wrong. If your friend is a true friend, s/he will absolutely understand, and you can move on in your friendship. I certainly hope all went well!
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@GreenMoo (11834)
•
13 Jun 12
If it's someone close to me, I'll tell them. If it's someone I don't know so well then I wouldn't be spending so much tme with them and I guess I'd just grit my teeth and put up with it.
It does depend how mental it drove me though. I'm getting more likely to speak up as I get older.
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
20 Jul 12
I've always been shy. And I've always been afraid to hurt or offend anybody. So like you, I'd always just grin and bear it.
But once in a while, when people take it too far, I would say something about it. Specially if it's causing me more work, or more stress, then I'd speak up! I've done it a few times. It's uncomfortable, but sometimes 'you just gotta do, what you gotta do'!
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
21 Jul 12
I hope you know I Want you to tell me if I ever offend you, ok! And Al I can say is Bravo! It is hard, very hard to break out of a shell and say something but it is worth it!
@inertia4 (27961)
• United States
22 Jun 12
I always let people know. If there is something that does not sound right or come out right, I always let them know. Now I don't go and jump down their throat right away, but if the moment calls for it I will. Sometimes things are said innocently and thats fine as long as they explain what they mean. I always try to explain what I mean when I say something.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
22 Jun 12
Me too. I rather explain than have a person have to assume what I meant. And I will ask what they meant before I get totally pi$$ed off.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
13 Jun 12
I sure would. I would firmly and clearly tell them what they said that bothered me, and WHY it bothered me. Funny, but as I write this, I'm watching Anderson's talk show on CTV. There is a teacher who, the day after a kid drowned at the beach, actually said that if one of her own students drowned, she'd not throw them a life jacket. She says she was just letting off steam, but I think it was a horrible joke for a TEACHER to make about her chosen profession.
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@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
14 Jun 12
I did it Exactly how you would. I told him what irked me And why! I hope he understands. As for the teacher, she is either burned out or a monster.Either way it is sad.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
14 Jun 12
Hi... I never paid a lot of attention to it. Because it's been quite a rare experience for me. And it has mostly happened after drinking only... You know they get out of hand at times, after drinks... Girls doing it to me, I can tolerate... Boys... Well yes, they do such things at times, and I kinda don't like it... So I try n tell 'em politely... :-)
1 person likes this
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
14 Jun 12
It honestly does depend. There are just going to be many times where I can just let these things go and it is not going to bother me more than a little bit. I'm just going to just sit back and really get on with the rest of my day. There are times where it is not really my place to correct someone and while it may annoy me, the annoyance is going to be something that is going to pass.
Unless it is really something that gets right on my nerves for the insane degree more often than not. There are just going to be many times where sometimes I feel sorely tempted. There is an external force pushing and prodding right at me to open my mouth and say something. Yet, I just let some of the things go. There are just times where you just let it be.
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