Can't Fight This Addiction
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
United States
June 14, 2012 4:12pm CST
Well MyLot, I had a slip yesterday. I can't really call it a slip as I knew I was going to the casino, before I even drove to Philadelphia. I have gambling addiction if you all are wondering what I'm talking about, and last night I hit the casino after about 3 months of being away. Last night was a horrible day, my vehicle got impounded because I was stupid enough to drive without insurance. The incident ruined what should have been a day at the park with my boys, but I'm happy I at least got to see my oldest graduate from middle school. After everything was said and done, I was lucky enough for my dad to lend me his car. Unfortunately I had this delusional idea I was going to win enough money to get my vehicle out of impound, so I went to the casino. I lost about $60 and left the casino with $8 to get myself home. The reason I moved away from Philadelphia was because they opened up a casino, and I was gambling my paychecks away every week. I've been doing good since I moved to New Jersey, but I can't resist the urge to go to the casino every time I go to Philly to see my boys. I don't know how to fight something that makes me feel so alive, but I know this problem has made me lose everything.
3 people like this
8 responses
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
14 Jun 12
Not for gambling addiction, but I did talk to a counselor about my bi-polar disorder.
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
15 Jun 12
Bi Polar is treated with medicine and psychotherapy. We did talk about my gambling, and the counselor said I was self medicating with gambling.
@lynn2457 (500)
• United States
14 Jun 12
Gambling addiction is no different than any other addiction. I congratulate you for moving away, but you really need to get it out of your system, knowing the consequences of this episode might be a cure for you to not gamble again. Sounds like Karma (as some say) kicked you in the backside.
Just because you slipped, do not give up and keep moving forward and start fresh. Good luck in your battle,I believe everyone has addictions just some are worse than others to each person.
1 person likes this
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
14 Jun 12
Karma is really kicking my butt. A lot of my woes are self inflicted, and I guess part of it is this mentality of mine that life really has no purpose. If I can overcome that demon, I may just be able to kick this addiction.
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
15 Jun 12
I have not tried professional help. I know I could try gamblers anonymous, but I feel like talking about it won't change anything. The change has to come from me some how.
@marguicha (215570)
• Chile
16 Jun 12
I loved to gamble when I was younger. My husband helped me lose only the money I could afford to lose. He said never to go with a credit card or with more money that I could lose. That way I could have fun without the guilt later on.
@marguicha (215570)
• Chile
19 Jun 12
We all need to spend some money in luxuries. I live on a budget all year but once every year I go for vacations for two weeks. When I have been to Aruba, I cannot stay away from the casinos but I follow my late husband`s rule: gamble what I would spend elsewhere. So, if I`m not going out to a restaurant, I can spend the money I saved at the casino
.
.@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
16 Jun 12
I do that, but I still feel guilty. I think its because deep down I know the money can go towards something else.
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
15 Jun 12
Philly don't despair. I am a gambler too. I wrote the book Confessions of a Gambler and also wrote the script for the film and directed it. Look, it is a disease; you know that already. Even if you are clean for years you are still a gambler, but in recovery. I cut down my gambling in stages and went from three times a week to once a week to once a month. I have saved lots of money not going. And I know the rush and the thrill. I am writing this during the prayer hour. I will say a prayer for you. Make a vow not to go tomorrow, and then after tomorrow, do it for the following day and so on. You must WANT to stop though. Good luck!
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
15 Jun 12
You would think after not going for so long the desire would weaken, if anything it increases.
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
16 Jun 12
Lady luck has no love for me. No mater how much I caress her with my money, she rejects me every time.
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
16 Jun 12
If you are not going to stop, at LEAST try going only once a month. You HAVE to, and then go twice a month, and then once. I know lady luck; ain't no lady at all. It is you trying your best to quit or you will end up feeling like a loser and it will then be much harder to stop. The house ALWAYS wins.
@sodambored (82)
• Canada
15 Jun 12
I recommend you to get friends and relatives to help. Tell your boys in Philly to drag you out of the casino if you end up in there or have a relative go to Philly with you have have them on to your money. My mom had the same problem. We all pitched in time to prevent her from going. It's difficult for everyone but it's for the best. I hope you get over your addiction soon! :D
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
15 Jun 12
It's not as easy as that. Whether you gamble $5 or $20, the high is still the same. Compulsion is very hard to deal with.
@sodambored (82)
• Canada
15 Jun 12
Sorry just noticed a typo.
or have a relative go to Philly with you and have them hold on to your money.*
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
16 Jun 12
Sorry to hear that you had a slip up in fighting your addiction. 
How far from Philadelphia are you? Or should I say, how far are you from the Tacony bridge, especially since it's only $2 versus the $4 to get over the other bridges? Have you received couseling for it? It could help-check out Gamblers Anonymous and see what help they can offer you.
I suffer a similar problem-I'm compulsive and cannot have a credit card or debit card with me IN the casino because I'll max it out. 
It worked out good before Sugarhouse or Parx opened since the closest place to go was in AC and that was about an hour. What I did was bring only $50 cash in with me and when it was gone, it was gone. And I moved away from Jersey at the end of 2010, but real close to the Sands (and we moved away again this year).
WHY were you driving without car insurance??? That could end up costing you more (I went without it for 5 days fifteen YEARS ago and it cost me a lot more to replace it!
But on a high note, congratulations on your oldest graduating middle school! 
How far from Philadelphia are you? Or should I say, how far are you from the Tacony bridge, especially since it's only $2 versus the $4 to get over the other bridges? Have you received couseling for it? It could help-check out Gamblers Anonymous and see what help they can offer you.
I suffer a similar problem-I'm compulsive and cannot have a credit card or debit card with me IN the casino because I'll max it out. It worked out good before Sugarhouse or Parx opened since the closest place to go was in AC and that was about an hour. What I did was bring only $50 cash in with me and when it was gone, it was gone. And I moved away from Jersey at the end of 2010, but real close to the Sands (and we moved away again this year).
WHY were you driving without car insurance??? That could end up costing you more (I went without it for 5 days fifteen YEARS ago and it cost me a lot more to replace it!
But on a high note, congratulations on your oldest graduating middle school! 
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
15 Jun 12
I'm so sorry you have this affliction. It IS a disease and having it doesn't mean you're "weak", no matter what anyone else may try to tell you. It sounds like the good news for you is that you're no longer close to a casino which seems to mean you can keep it under control for the most part, right? What I'd suggest to you is to try to avoid going near a casino whenever possible but when you know you're going to go MAKE SURE not to have more than a small amount of cash with you, no more than you can afford to lose. Then, if you break down and go just move one afterwards and don't beat yourself up or feel guilty!
I KNOW this is a real addiction because I have some friends how have gotten into some real trouble with their gambling. I personally don't get too many opportunities to go to a casino but when I do I take a limited amount of money and NEVER take any credit or debit cards. I repeat N - E - V - E - R!!
Annie
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
15 Jun 12
I've learned that lesson the hard way. I no longer have a bank account because of it.
