disadvantage of close family ties

hi kaeirole, you are right, some people would just abuse close family ties. this is why it is really important to see what in the family is worthy of our help and who is not. at least we know where to draw a line then!

i never experienced those situations that you've said. Even I have a very very large number of family-relatives members, they just keep on helping each other not to the extent of abusing it. They don't exaggerate their request for help to other relatives. I really love how they interact with each other not like what I have with my older brother. But i notice what you're saying with other families, they will do crazy things like early marriage and they tend to ask for their family's help. It's really disgusting.

I think I understand what you mean... There is a tendency on some in that situation to depend on others. When one is successful in a family, he will be perceived by others in his big extended family as having almost the responsibility to help others. There's nothing wrong with helping each other, of course. Unfortunately, there are people who'd rather lose their dignity by expecting hand out from others instead of being self sufficient.

I can relate to this. Since I dont have yet a child my siblings and parents are always asking money from me every payday for rice, medications, electric bills and etc. Good thing that my husband is very generous and helping me to give what they want but I know he has limitations and I dont want to abuse him. Also I am hoping that someday I could earn some courage to talked to my family regarding to this matter because they become so comfortable with the situation without even thinking on getting job to provide their own needs. Sometimes I got tired on helping them even though their my family.

I agree to you, there are a lot of disadvantages of close family ties. First, If you are living with one home with extended families.. And you cannot live freely. You are aware that you have to finesse your movement in the house to avoid feed backs and can result to your argument with other family.... extended family have the result of competitions in all aspects: maybe in things, money or with the achievements of the kids in school... You cannot live with your own will but you are imitating the ways of others in your extended family. And you cant budget the money for you are updating the trends or latest fashion of the other., So the budget is damaged... Extended family also triggers the hate or having a barrier with each other.. Instead you can live with love... but its an opposite of it... So we cannot change that, we are Filipinos its embedded in our blood stream... And that's our way of living..

Hi friend, there is nothing wrong in asking help from our good friends and relations. In India we can see joint families and family members are interested in helping each other. But now a days this trend is very much changed and it is hard to see the join family here. We must help our friends and relatives to expect the same from them.

My family is very close to each other. I am so grateful that I have them especially during the hard times of my life. They are all there to support me all the way. But later on, people grow and I came to a point that unsolicited advice is not helping sometimes. I have a family of my own now and there are times that they would insist what they think is best. I know that they are just concern about my welfare but I am a married person now. Whatever decision regarding my married life should be decided by me and wife alone.

Oh tell me about it. My mother's siblings were too dependent on her financially and when she passed away, they were expecting us, the children to continue what my mother had been doing to them. For Pete's sake! We lost our parents and they still expected us to feed them and their children! That's how dependent they were. But my Uncle, father side, taught us that we should be responsible for our own selves or else we would lose all the money our parents left us. Good thing we listened to him.

I agree with you Kaeirole.. I can relate because this is usually the issue of our family.. of our clan. Well, I love my family and relatives but I hate those who are so dependent. I don't like lazy people. Here on our compound, I could observe that there are really parasites. My cousin who has his 2nd wife already who was leaving under his Mom's place. He is so dependent to his mom. Even in the tuition of his child, his mom was the one sustaining all his needs. Another one is my nephew who keeps on playing computer games than working to gain a living for his child too. However, I thank God for letting my nephew found a job just a week ago and fortunately he'll start tomorrow. That's so great, right!! But my cousin is still dependent to his mom. And I don't know how he could still sleep at night without realizing how lazy and unproductive he was. What a shame!! He can't realize this!!

Yes, it is too bad to live completely with the help of an external person. So many people have a tendency not to go for hard works and to live with others money. But, this is not at all fair. We must work hard to make the life more and more beautiful .