he is putting too much into work
By jazel_juan
@jazel_juan (15747)
Philippines
June 25, 2012 12:44am CST
And i understand him, hubby is like this, i know he means well and i know he is doing this for our future.
But it gets too much, saturday was dinner time with his brother and father as it is hid brother's birthday.. his sister in law texted me and said to come over because it is dinner time and they cooked a lot for us..
now here comes hubby busy with his work and business, he keeps on asking me if we should go and i said my time is free and it is up to him as he is the one busy, that was around 8 in the eve and i know dinner is already starting.. but somehow his sister in law keeps on texting us...
he then said he will finish it before going and said to me i should go ahead with my kids which i am not comfortable as it is his turf we are going and he should be there with us but sensing that his brother might feel upset as we are already late, we went there - just me and my kids. We apologized for being late and ate, i did not even eat some just desserts only as we already had dinner at home too..
then the dinner went on, lots of talk and the clock already says 11 eve! I called him and he is still at home! 
he only came to get us. It is pretty upsetting but at the same time i could not get myself to get mad as i know it is work and it is money..but then again you cannot buy time right? oh well.
he only came to get us. It is pretty upsetting but at the same time i could not get myself to get mad as i know it is work and it is money..but then again you cannot buy time right? oh well.2 people like this
13 responses
@thewonderboy (7501)
• India
25 Jun 12
It is very common to have busy office works in ones life. Even i am busy with all my office works but still i find some time to manage all my family needs. I just used to shift my working hours to night time if i need to spent some day time with my family needs. I think you hubby can also shift his working hours. So that he can enjoy all the matters in his life.
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
i do agree as he tends to be such a workaholic too sometimes
1 person likes this
@kkaria309 (297)
• United States
25 Jun 12
I am been through this, in fact, I am going through this now too. But maybe you should talk to him and tell him that he has to take some time out to spend with you and the kids, and for himself too. Working so hard can only have a bad effect on the relationship, as well as his health.
Maybe talking to him how bad his brother must have felt for him not attending his birthday dinner would make him realize that he is losing out on so many things.
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
i want to but then as he is so into work lately, he is sooo diligent at it right now i do not want to dampen his spirits, i try to be a lot more supportive rather than be a wife who wants attention.. so i am trying to understand all of this right now
1 person likes this
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
My wife is a workaholic. And like what you have said, i want to be mad but i can`t. I want her to realize that time is also important. Time for herself, for me and especially to her whole family. Try to talk to him about that. It`s okay to sulk in your paper works as long as he knows his limitations. Like for example, he needs to attend first because its his brother`s birthday. At the end of the day, you`re family will be the most important thing that anyone can`t buy or replace. Money is not everything but happiness is, and his family must be his happiness 
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
We are living in the competitive world now where people can't quit their jobs. because it's simply hard to get a job now a days. you're right, what is the important of working and career and you don't have something to look forward to.we should always have time for our family because if we don't i doubt we will get the chance to see them the same as they were before
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
26 Jun 12
Letran you are right, it is hard to take a leave of absence at work as you can easily be replaced! But in a way bird is right too, time is important and at the end of the day your family is still a priority..so i guess the two must strike balance
@shylade (3132)
• Philippines
26 Jun 12
I agree with you, money can't buy time. I know your husband just want to ensure your future. My husband and I are actually tends to overworked even at home for we are selling online, but I feel guilty whenever our cute little boy beg to play with him and carry him. So I promise myself to reserve some quality time with our precious son because I can't turn back no matter how much money I have.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
26 Jun 12
true, if there is one thing we cannot get back and that is time..and i hope somehow he will not be to late to realize that
@wildflow3rz28 (180)
• Philippines
26 Jun 12
I must say that we are in a very much similar situation. I also rarely see my husband at home, when he gets home I'm already asleep with the kid and most of the time he leaves with us still sleeping. I cannot talk it over with him over and over again because I know it's just gonna fire up a misunderstanding. He is an achiever really, and like your hubby, he wants to finish everything in one day, the funny thing is that his work still seems to add up each day. I feel like I don't know him anymore sometimes. But I'm just keeping my cool, hoping that one day, he'll miss us too. I just hope our hubbies would not be too late when they remember that they still have a family. :(
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
26 Jun 12
let us pray and that somehow it will never be too late because i know somehow we both will still be waiting for them to realize wild...
i am also keeping cool about it and praying. it works right? @Rasniki09 (183)
•
25 Jun 12
It's good to have a hard working partner but there has to be some balance between work and play. As others have said, at least you knew exactly where he was..home.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
26 Jun 12
yes that is the good side of it rasni, i know where he is! 
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
25 Jun 12
I wonder if the work your husband was doing is really important or is he an over achiever? If the work is important, then your husband did the right thing by staying home and getting it done. However, if it wasn't important, then he's an over achiever, just like my husband is which makes it really hard to deal with because he'll be like this for forever unless he gets some help to deal with the issues.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
26 Jun 12
it is important i guess as he has orders for it and needs to have it finished.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
25 Jun 12
It is hard when people do this, because it always just seems as though they have no balance at all between their home life and their work life, which can be a little hard to deal with at times. But the thing that you have to remember is that he is only doing this because he cares for you, and because he wants you to have a good life with him. If he didn't work, then he wouldn't have enough money to live the way that you do, so you would have to give some things up that you might be very used to in your life by now. Maybe ask him to finish work a little earlier just a couple of times per week so that you can have time together, but you should be glad that you have a husband who is willing to work hard to provide you with the things that you want and need.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
26 Jun 12
there are two ways to look at this actually, glad that he is working for us and not drinking around.. or i get mad because he got not time for us.. but i would rather think of the first one now, maybe in due time, he will be with us more when we have more saved.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
Hello Jazel_juan,
Well, it seems that you're husband is enjoying his work, that's a positive note. when some one is good at what they do, it's always a priority, it's their career.unfortunately, your kids are growing and Daddy should be present when ever there is day off or children's activity day or something.
This is something that you two should talk about, and that means settling for a huge TIME MANAGEMENT plan and shouldn't be much over an overworked. what's the use of working hard if the parenting is less.
Jazel_juan,
Well, it seems that you're husband is enjoying his work, that's a positive note. when some one is good at what they do, it's always a priority, it's their career.unfortunately, your kids are growing and Daddy should be present when ever there is day off or children's activity day or something.
This is something that you two should talk about, and that means settling for a huge TIME MANAGEMENT plan and shouldn't be much over an overworked. what's the use of working hard if the parenting is less.1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
26 Jun 12
I do agree Letran, how i wish we could talk about it.. but he is a workaholic too.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
25 Jun 12
Hi jazel
I believe your hubby is planning to bring you all to India on a Holiday trip soon
which is the reason he is working so hard - not only that will help him with some extra earnings but also allow him a vacation when you all are here.
btw, dont forget to me candies - those Ice creams would melt- I know that so I will have to settle down with chocos
I believe your hubby is planning to bring you all to India on a Holiday trip soon which is the reason he is working so hard - not only that will help him with some extra earnings but also allow him a vacation when you all are here.
btw, dont forget to me candies - those Ice creams would melt- I know that so I will have to settle down with chocos@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
26 Jun 12
Lol i sure hope so sids! Glad to see you back mylotting again.
Well i really do not think going to india is part of his plan! but i have faith
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
25 Jun 12
I hope that he realizes that as well because you'll never be able to turn back time.
1 person likes this
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
11 Oct 12
hi,
that is a positive one because your husband really work hard not only because of his career but also to the future of you children and even the status of you future life,but of course your husband still need time for his family because sometimes children will feel his father that he more love his job than to them.
@jkct02 (2874)
• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
28 Jun 12
Your husband could have told you if he did want to go to that dinner or not. If he was busy with his work, knowing that he would not be able to attend the dinner, he could have let you know and inform his brother and father that he could not go and that you and your kids could. If he could have made such an arrangement, it would have avoided your confusion and possible miscommunications with your in-laws. One thing you said that makes me curious: why did you have dinner at home before you attended that dinner? Were you prepared not to go?
