Sorry but we cant pay it anymore...
By AngelaMarie
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
Philippines
July 1, 2012 10:50am CST
Few months ago my sister and her family run away because of debt amounting $1,000. My mother cried and asked for help to cover up her debt, my husband decided to help our mother to avoid any legal issues about my sister debt. Then when all the debt has been covered up suddenly my sister showed up and return to our house. Since we pitied her, we accepted her again with her family and told her that please do not run away again just because of debt and dont makes us worried again.
This afternoon I received a calls for my other sister and my mom,they told me that my sister has debt again amounting $500 in different persons. I got angry and dont know what to say. I told my mother that if even my sister run away again because of her debt we will never cover her up again because it is too much and she need to learn her lesson. She need to work hard and her husband to support their needs and their son's needs in a right way and they need to become more responsible in their actions.
My husband and I worked hard to earn money to support our daily needs and help my parents, and my sister has no consideration in doing it again. I am very upset and disappointed about her and hope that she will learn her lesson soon.
Do you have some relatives or family members done like this to you?
Do you think that I am right not to cover her debt anymore if ever they run away again? And just let them face the legal actions if ever they run away? Thank you for sharing.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
1 Aug 12
Well, I am not sure how your sister get herself into debts. Perhaps there is some good reason behind it. Anyway, they have to find solutions to their problem. Since she is your sister, perhaps you should find some chances to talk to her and understand what is really going on. Perhaps you can suggest some course of action which can change their situation.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
1 Aug 12
Hi squallming, I already talked to my sister and we both agreed that whatever debts she has I will not going to help her anymore and she need to become more responsible to her actions. I gave her some ideas and suggestions on how to earn money while she and her husband living to our house in the province but they both too lazy to wake up early and work hard for their needs. I understand her situation but i think they need to do their duty to change their situation. Anyway, thank you for sharing.
1 person likes this
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
You have a point in here but same time I some how understand your sister. If I understand you correctly she has a son and a husband meaning she has a family. I don't know what job her husband has or what job she have right now. I don't know why she incur that much debt. But if she lend money simply because of their basic needs then just put your feet in her shoes. What if you don't have decent job and you need money what will you do?
Me I don't have a job for the last six years and I'm living with my sister who also has hard time putting food on the table and I have lots of debt right now almost 3,000 dollars already. But what can I do? I'm too old to find a job right now and If I go out to look for job its another expense. If I don't look for job I feel hopeless.
At least be happy that you work hard and you earn some how. than you want to work hard but opportunities does not come.
1 person likes this
@fashionfever (2200)
• Indonesia
3 Jul 12
Yes, you did right by not paying her debt anymore. She is lucky she was not my sister, if she was my sister I would not pay her debt at all, not even the first debt. If she was being honest from the first and I know why she had that so much of debt, probably I would help her. I think your sister needs a lesson to learn, just let them face the legal actions she just cannot run away and expect other people to cover her debt for her. Maybe you can help her in other way like help her to find extra job to earn more money to pay her debt. I dont have family members who has done something like this, but my maid told me her cousin borrowed money from so many people and ranaway and my maid had to cover her debt.
1 person likes this
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
4 Jul 12
That was happened to us too, they lend money in different people and runaway since my mom was in our house during that time she is the one whose forcing to pay all the debt of my sister. Both of my parents has no job and no one else can pay it but me and my husband. I just hoping that one day they realized to stand up on their own feet and start to work to earn money. Thank you
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
Hi Bhebelen, actually it is not your responsibility to pay your sister's debt coz you have your own responsibility also. You have a family also and our family is our first priority. You helped your sister once, and it should be enough. She did that again coz she knew that you will pay for debt again. You are right, you have to give her and her husband a lesson. They should find ways on how to pay their debt.
1 person likes this
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
9 Aug 12
Well, I can give my helping hand to my relatives if I'm able and have a regular day job. I can prove once or twice but not that too habitual. We have our own lives and we work for whatever money we earn. I think, you are right in that note. You are already done your best though. They need to learn their lessons. Thanks
@BabyCheetah (1911)
• Australia
2 Jul 12
When it coems to this sort of situation and I know that the person would not pay me back then I wouldn't do it. It was nice of you to cove the debt the first time sure but I personally would have left that $1000 debt and let her deal with it. If she had to go to jail or anything like that then maybe next time she won't do it again. Now that you have paid it of course she is doing it again hoping you will cover it. If she runs away again from it then so be it, nothing you can do unless you want to be suckered into paying her debts all the time. I'm glad you are not doing it again as she will never learn otherwise.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
3 Jul 12
I really want her to learn her lesson because she is old enough to work hard and earn money for her family. Thank you for sharing.
@BabyCheetah (1911)
• Australia
4 Jul 12
I think that's a good thing. She needs to learn she can't rely on people all the time or run away from her problems. You're welcome too :)
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
4 Aug 12
I am sorry to hear that this thing had happened to you. I wonder what your sister and husband are doing with the money they are borrowing. I think some people do take advantage of us during our lives. I hope such things do not happen to you any more and hope everything gets okay for you in life.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
4 Aug 12
I agree with you, some people reallt take advantage for their our goodness and to provide their our needs without thing the possible effects to others. Thanks
@nonersays (3329)
• United States
1 Jul 12
I think you are right to not KEEP paying off your sisters debt. I think as long as someone keeps covering for her she is going to keep doing it. Having some legal action taken against her might teach her a lesson about monitoring her spending and not living above her means.
We do have people in our family like that, and we help them out when we can, but we never make a habit out of paying off their debts because we don't want them comfortably thinking they can depend on us to bail them out every time.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
3 Jul 12
I agree with you. I think they became more comfortable and dependent to us, now they need to face the consequences of their actions. Thanks
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
I think, covering the $1000 debt is already enough. If you will cover the another $500, your sister will suddenly think that she will not be afraid to have debts because she has family that will save her from those.
Is is hard to see for your sister to be in this kind of trouble but you got a point that you and your husband are working hard to earn money for your family. I guess, talk to your sister to work hard too so that she will never had debt like the one she is having now.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
3 Jul 12
I already talk to her but seems she not going to listen to me. Anyway I already told to her what I need to say and whether she listen or not its up to her. Thank you for sharing.
