Sometimes I get tired of peoples' reactions
By courtknee525
@courtknee525 (3742)
United States
July 5, 2012 12:35pm CST
Whenever people hear that my boyfriend is away in the army they get all sad for me and start to ask me silly questions like "do you miss him?" and etc. I don't talk about him to get sympathy from people. I talk about him because he's my best friend and we've shared good times together and if I mention he's in the army it's because I'm proud of him. I'm just tired of people feeling sorry for me. Instead, they should just realize that every day people are out fighting for our country or doing their job to protect our country and our rights. So rather than feel sorry, feel respect for what other people do.
I'm not saying that this is the only reaction I get from people, it's just the most frequent. When I talk about my boyfriend in the army, I'd much rather hear people respect him for his service than pity me. Yes I miss him and yes it gets tough sometimes, but I manage pretty well and we make things work.
5 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Jul 12
Well sorry because I did feel bad for you. I have a sister, a friend and a sister in law who are all army wives and I know what they go through so when someone else is going through it too I relate and I do feel bad.
Yes military men & women are doing something amazing for all of us but as a woman myself who would not want to live without my husband I feel bad for all of the spouses that have to live so long without their spouse!
Then again I feel bad for EVERYONE in this world, the poor, the homeless, the kids in an orphanage, dogs in the shelters, etc...
Point taken though...
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
5 Jul 12
I understand you felt sorry but you weren't obnoxious about it. Instead, you offered emotional support through some times when I was feeling really down. I'm sorry, I should have clarified the difference between feeling sorry but supportive and just feeling pity and that having a boyfriend in the army is terrible.
I feel bad for everyone who has to live without their loved one too. I can definitely relate to them.
It's hard to explain the difference though. I was never once offended if you felt bad. In a way, you understood how I was feeling and you tried to brighten the situation and you offered help when I needed it. So for that, I thank you :) and I hope you weren't offended by this discussion!
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Jul 12
Oh okay. No I was not offended, I thought I offended you when I was trying to help. Misunderstanding I guess. I am glad you were not offended by me.
Yeah I did understand after seeing so many go through the same thing. Your so welcome, and I hope I have helped in the past at least a little. 
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
6 Jul 12
No, no I wasn't offended :) I liked that you tried to make me feel better about everything. You felt bad but instead of just pitying me, you helped out and shared your experiences and pretty much made me feel that everything was going to be ok. You've definitely reassured me through some of my tough times. It's ok to feel bad when I talk about going through I tough time, I just don't like it when all I say to people is "my bf is in the army" and everyone just automatically feels bad when they don't know anything.
You've been here to help through the not-so-good times but also the times where I was happy about something related to my bf and the army. Thank you
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
5 Jul 12
i know what u mean dearling. i think and im pretty sure im on target here when i say this- but ppl do this because maybe many of them have had a loved one not come back in one peace and they are thinking that thats going to happen to ur best friend. i respect ur bf for doing whatever he is doing. but i dont like what the military is doing for us.maybe i dont fully understand their purpose but its kinda wrong...they want us to fight for our freedom but like when ppl come back from fighting, they loose a part of themself and when they want to get treated for some syciatric problem, they are turned away or being given the run around. So when u tell ppl 'oh my bf is in the army...' they think this.
i could be wrong and i sure do hope i am when it comes to ur bf...im just sayin...:)
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
6 Jul 12
Yeah you're probably right. They automatically think the worst about what happens in the military. Instead, I just focus on all the people that get to come back home to their loved ones. People probably also don't really know what to say either, especially if they can't relate to having a loved one join the military.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
5 Jul 12
Remember when I told you several months ago that I feel that the members of our military are heroes? You were pretty upset with your boyfriend at the time for going into the military. You were missing him before he even left. I am glad to see that you have grown in your pride and your relationship in him to be proud of what he is doing for us all.
Yes, all the military men and women are doing their jobs to keep us safe here at home. Their duty is to serve and protect our constitution and what it stands for. Without them, we might not have the country I’m so proud of today.
It goes without saying that you miss him. Kind of a moot question there.. maybe folks just don’t know what to say. I would just say to tell him that I’m proud that he is serving.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
6 Jul 12
yes, I remember you saying that :) I'm still upset that he chose this but I've learned there's nothing I can do but support him and feel proud. As much as I never wanted to be with someone in the military, I really can't help it at this point. I love him so much and I can't think of ever being without him. My brain definitely told me many times not to do it but every step of the way my heart has been there telling me to stay with him. I'm glad I have stayed with him, I really do love him even though it's so hard to be without him
You're probably right that people just don't know what to say. I think it's ok to feel bad, but only when I share something that makes me sad, I don't like it when people hear he's in the army and I automatically get sympathy and pity.
@neerruu (134)
• India
5 Jul 12
oh nice your boyfriend is in army.may god bless both of you guys.
my situation is'nt that much similar to you but somewhat and i hate it too. whenever i tell people that i live in other state away from my parents. they always behave like like it's a very big deal mostly girls. they ask me when i went to home last time when did i take to them.i mean what the hell??
why would they want to know that ??
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
6 Jul 12
Thank you :) I think I know how you feel. It's ok to feel bad, but only if I share something about when I'm sad. I don't like it when I mention he's in the army and people automatically feel bad for me
@tiffanyisweird (7)
• United States
6 Aug 12
Tell them that! If they say "Do you miss him", say "of course but I'm mostly proud of him!!!"
I'm the same way, or was at least. Now we're married though.
