Regarding cousins or a certain guy cousin....and feeling being liked/loved...

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Hi there! I have some concerns over cousins (usually 2nd degree cousins) and some of them especially one of them that are male cousins. However, I just had a family reunion over the weekend the relatives are from my dad's side. There's another families with same last name as mine and the other one as another family but also related. But anyway, there are some cousins with that family reunion they don't know each other but i happen to know most of them among some other cousins. But there are times I feel like if everyone knows each other, they won't be interested in me anymore. I hope to remove that feeling of jealousy and envy of others. It seems as if i want to be liked or loved or want to be center of attention. But I just hope I can humble down and be liked instead of making it obvious. Well anyway in the family reunion, I saw alot of my cousins. And also in regarding social networking with cousins(actual and affinity, extended) on facebook, there may have been a few that have actually blocked me from being their friend on facebook. I've gotten hurt few times secretly about it. Why do I have this feeling of all this?? Also a guy cousin of mine, Michael...he's my 2nd cousin from dad's side. He's like 2 years younger than me. Ever since he got facebook, i guess it got out of hand about me commenting and posting on his posts....He used to be active on facebook....but eversince last year of 2011 and so on it drifted.I guess that's how and why certain people get tired of me on seeing statuses on facebook that they decided to remove me as their friend and block me...I even keep count on some people who blocked, reject me, deny or whatever it is, whether friends or cousins. For some reason, it seems I worry about him or have some facsination about him. I kinda have a slight crush on him.. yet he is my 2nd cousin from dad's side. i keep looking at photos of him and stuff....i even don't know why it was brought up my attention...then it seems I remembered the past stuff with me and him that it seems he thought i was always weird. I cannot connect with him but i feel there's something about him.. This is strange. Anyway about him, I just remembered eversince myspace happened...that he used to be on myspace. Same thing about comments or messages and how people end up getting annoyed or bored of me, then i remembered when my cousin (Mike) had deleted me and stuff. Then I forgot about it and when something else. Then now it was facebook....Facebook, Mike used to respond to my comments or some of them. This was around 2010.. Around 2011, he blocked me for awhile... I also had cancelled my facebook and made another one at that time cuz of wanting new freshstart. It took awhile to add him back, and he messaged and accepted my request but said im gonnna accept you but don't be commenting on my posts the reason he deleted me was because his friends got irrated about it. Then i haven't talked to him....ever since. His personality changes... Not sure what cousins like that think of me but I can sense he can also be sarcastic or something. He is close with the other cousins. But yeah ever since facebook when he arrived, he was a bit cool, then it because something else.. Then on instagram..who ever knows about photo sharing apps, well i didn't start instagram like how my facebook friends did, I started out using it late of this year... I found him on instagram but his profile is private. But he didn't let me follow or add him. He denied request. But when it used to be not private, I did add him but i think there's a way to make people unfollow you on instagram, so i was not following him anymore.. Now, any time I tried to send request, he'll deny or reject my request on instagram. Or I dunno if he recognized my name or pic but anyway, it sucks that I cannot follow him or that he's not even following me on instagram... ugh seems I'm worried about cousin popularity or something... I did see him in family reunion, but he was okay I guess. I just don't know why I have that feeling. Now other cousins that know him, one of them are adding him..he accepted their request. So he and other cousins have each other as friends.....followers on that social networky stuff. So yeah, I'm not sure what I feel but that there are times I'm pouring my tears out of all this petty feelings. Sometimes I wonder of doing reading on a persons personality or doing some readings on a person given a birthdate or something. Now to think of it, there are times I feel he doesn't like me among the cousins or feels that I'm just bleh and weird and probably I don't have alot of cool lingos like all the cousins have. Why I am i too sentimental and worrying about facebook friends and followers or who does this and what does this? I guess I'm being ridiculous for all this. And I was gonna ask a cousin from the reunion and confide this problem at the family reunion personally but I dare not to and did not. I knew if I worry about instagram or facebook and why they ignore me...then there's just gonna be a gossip of things going on..So I haven't shared it someone or some cousins who I can trust. I'm not sure what or why made have some slight crush on him. I hope I'm not acting all idiotish about all this. Also one of my cousins (female) who barely knew mike especially this one, also added him and rest on facebook. I feel i want to be popular but I feel at the same time I'm not being humble and just showing off. I kinda do love showing off when having fun doing social drinking but other than that I'm trying to stop competing with others and trying to be the best out of others. I hope and want to be liked and loved and I just want to stop that feeling of worrying of being liked or loved and being the top of everyone. I don't know why my ego is like that.. Now I don't know what I think anymore. I just hope all this stuff is going down. I shouldn't have worry about such things in the first place, but I can't help this feeling. I also feel that it's gonna be hard for me to talk to him because he doesn't respond on facebook. I also feel another I know reason why cousin mike doesn't like me , not only my fb post, but is what kind of connection or conversation I can have with him? I don't have those cool lingo or whatever. Sure I can talk somethings like hi and what's up? but that's about it when it comes to me and him. Otherwise, I don't think I fit in with other cousins who like my weirdness and stuff. They are different with the friends I hang out with. I hope some people can undestand me on this post...I guess after writing this feeling, i just released something.