I Caught One of My Family Members Panhandling!
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
United States
July 19, 2012 6:14am CST
We went to town last night to fill up our truck (which in its self is highway robbery! But that is a topic for another discussion.). Out of the corner of my eye I spied a male who was walking up to the customers entering the store and asking them for money. Some reached in their pockets or purses and placed what coins in his extended palm. I was appalled by this. You hear of it in big cities, but this is a small town.
Once I realized it was someone I knew, I really got anxious. Then the female got out of the car and headed our way. It was a family member. She wore dark sunglasses (it was dusk at 8:30) and looked extremely thin. I told her she looked like crap (used the other word). She said she was tired. Then she proceeded to ask me for change or a dollar or two. I was totally sick over the idea that she was panhandling and approached me for money. I do not enable people and my answer was no. She kissed me, told me she loved me, and I did the same; because I do with all my heart.
As I write this I sit in total dismay, shaking my head occasionally. I am embarrassed and hurt, but her actions. I pray that this family member gets help. Once again the evil darkness has overcome her. I pray she can come out of this.
What would you do if you encountered a family member or friend panhandling?
3 people like this
10 responses
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
21 Jul 12
I never have seen a family memeber panhandling. Not even a friend. I would be appauled,too,if I saw this! There are panhandlers in my city and they mostly hang out at the mall. I think some people do it becasue they have hit rock bottom. I do know there are people who do and don't need to do it! They do it because they want people to feel sorry for them! I had worked with a guy who did it on a regular bases in the town he lived in! He would tie one of his legs behind a thigh and act like he was a Viet Nam vet! That is how he panhandled! Not sure if he is doing yet or not! The guy was very weird!
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
5 Aug 12
I heard a story on the radio how this one person begged for money. He walked around the corner, got into an expensive car. The guy followed him and was shocked to see him pull into the race track. He said he never again gave out money to anyone.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
7 Aug 12
I had heard on the radio news one day of a man who did it professionally and made enough to pay his bills. Not sure that he made his living in a small rural area though. Most likely he panhandled in a larger city.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
20 Jul 12
i think i would likely just cry in her face. i have had family members like that and thats what ive done. here lately i tell them im nearly broke but i will fix them something to eat at my house or like that. 
there should be a way/law where we could put them in rehab ourselves like back when we could send someone to the nut house if need be
it just hurts so bad and seems unfair that we cant help them. @ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
20 Jul 12
I wish it were that easy. I would have put her in rehab years ago and not a short-term one. Addiction is hard to kick. I cried later on. It is breaking my spirit to see her like this.
@marguicha (215405)
• Chile
20 Jul 12
What kind of addiction doe she have? What kind of support has she beem given? How cloe are you to her so that you can really help her? I did not iunderstand what was har problem that made her beg
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
20 Jul 12
Wow, just goes to show you learn something new every day, including on Mylot, I never knew what panhandling meant, so thank you, I was definitely intrigued to read your discussion to find out more. We call it plain old begging no fancy name, fortunately none of my family have ever begged or panhandled (if that is the correct form) Although not condoning this activity, we do live in very tough times with a crippling economy and very high unemployment and people need to eat.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
22 Jul 12
I agree we do live in tough times. Help has been offered to her and she refuses to accept it. Her addictions are causing this.
@marguicha (215405)
• Chile
20 Jul 12
I also had to look up the word in a dictionary
. One more word in my vocabulary.
. One more word in my vocabulary.1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
19 Jul 12
So begging for money is called pan-handling?
I found it a bit difficult to follow your story. Why would giving this person some money enable her? Why are you embarrassed and hurt? What is "the evil darkness"? Call me stupid but I have no idea what you are talking about.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
19 Jul 12
She was doing well with her recovery from addiction and fell into it again. Giving her money would have enabled her to keep feeding her addiction.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
19 Jul 12
Oh, and it is a close family member, hence the embarrassment.
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
19 Jul 12
I was approached just the other day by a stranger and gave her a dollar. I have no idea of her situation, but I could afford a dollar, so why not. It's not like it is breaking me AND I figured she was bold/desperate enough, so why not? Not sure how I would handle things with a family member. Probably try to help as much as I could. Some are desparate and others need more than I ever have. It doesn't bother me to give some if I am able to. They have to live with the way the money is used!!
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
20 Jul 12
I do not give my children money as a rule. They need to stand on their own two feet. She was doing well and then the bottom dropped out.
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
19 Jul 12
I was approached just the other day by a stranger asking for money and gave her a dollar. My thought is that I have it and she is bold/desperate, so what does it hurt to help her out? She is the one who has to live with how the money is spent, and if I have it, why not give it to her? Not sure what I would do with a family member, probably try to help as much as I am able.
1 person likes this
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
19 Jul 12
oops...........didn't think the first comment went through.
1 person likes this
@leighz (456)
•
19 Jul 12
The best thing you can do is helped her get out of that situation. Help her seek professional help. Panhandling should never be tolerated, this encourages other people to depend on others. In your case, allowing that person to continue living that way will only cause more distress in your family. Talk her out of it, ask some of your family members to be part of the intervention.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
19 Jul 12
You can't intervene with those who refuse to believe they have a problem. Even if they go to a facility for help they can check themselves out. Been down this road a time or two with her.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
19 Jul 12
Hi friend, sorry to know about this, i wonder why she is doing this unwanted activity even though she have the ability to earn by her own with her talents and skills, we don't encourage this kind of people and suggest them to find out their talent to shine in their life
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
19 Jul 12
Oh my, that must have been such a difficult thing to witness. I know if I were in your place, I will be torn between my love for my family and doing the right thing.
She obviously needs help, and she needs her family's support now more than ever, but this doesn't mean that her behavior shall be tolerated nor dismissed just like that.she could also be having her own struggles that she's always seeking the easy way out regardless of its nature.
You're doing the right thing by praying for her; if you can use your power of persuasion maybe you can also ask her to pray with you? Make her realize that she is loved, she's got her family to help her and support her, and that you will always be there for her as she comes clean.
May the Lord bless you and your family, just hang on and keep the faith!
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
20 Jul 12
I have supported her by offering my love. I cannot give her financial support nor would I do it. Prayer is my only means now.
