I wondered WHY my In-laws did not attend our civil wedding
By jureathome
@jureathome (5361)
Philippines
July 24, 2012 5:49am CST
I just remembered when we first plan to get married in a court, my husband's parents didn't attend it and never reached out to us for a long time. It really made me feel bad. I don't understand what the real reason was. My husband would just say that they're always like that if they're not comfortable with something.
I was trying to assess myself and try to understand what they wouldn't like about me. I have a good career, which means I am not after my husband's financial capacity, although that is a plus. I have good genes, which would ensure we can give them beautiful grandkids. I may be a product of a broken family, but so does over 50% of the population.
We still got married, nonetheless. With or without them. That was 5 years ago and we're still happily married.
4 responses
@thanks1961 (7033)
• India
24 Jul 12
Never mind, some people are like this. They have an extra sense and which is so dangerous. As long as you are a perfect women and sensible and understanding and above all, a loving and caring women, what more quality you needed. In the present day life, all such beautiful qaualities assembling in a single women is so rate and you got everything in generous and hope you are a perfet one and after all doing everything, if they are keep away from you, your in-laws really got missed a better jewel in their life. It it be!
If you got a mind to accept them at any point of time, and if they realise it one day, they will understand your value. Some peole used to keep unwanted ego and which itself destroying the right path of life. Any way, as long as you got a loving h/b and lovely children, why need to worry for them. Once the are out of the ego, they will come to you and will love you.
Regards
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
24 Jul 12
That was 5 years ago, and his parents have accepted us after 6 months from our wedding. But, I still have an awkward relationship with them especially with my mother-in-law. We don't get to see them often, because they're an island away, so we didn't really get to let our relationship as in-laws flourish.
They did attend our church wedding, 2 years after. And, it really meant a lot for me.
@thanks1961 (7033)
• India
24 Jul 12
Be great about yourself. Whatever lost is lost for ever and keep a hope something better will happen. It is not only in your case, wherever there is mother-in-law, this situation is there for almost 90%. So, do well and pray for something good to happen.
Nice to talk to you and loging out for tomorrow, as the office time is up.
Best regards
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
24 Jul 12
Your husband's parents likely don't view getting married at a courthouse as a real wedding... or as a union that will last. Still, they should have reached out to you shortly after the wedding even if they could not bring themselves to attend the ceremony.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
25 Jul 12
Probably, because they are old and conservative. They may have not liked the idea of going for civil wedding more than church wedding.
@TheIzers (680)
•
24 Jul 12
Sometime in life we have to just let go things to find closure and maybe since it's been five years and nothing you can do about it, this one of those things. Even if you find the answer it won't change the fact that they did not attend. Find yourself peace and make peace with them hopefully they would see your sincerity and they would love you more.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
27 Jul 12
Honestly, the memory still bothers me at times, and everytime I see them. But, Im glad we're in talking terms now.
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
24 Jul 12
Maybe they didn't like a civil wedding? But then who cares? Its about you and your husband on that day and not about the wants of anybody else. You show them! :) Just keep your family healthy and happy; show them that no matter how you guys chose to be married it didn't make your marriage inferior to anyone else's. They will soon see that their kid and grandkids are healthy and happy and they will want to be involved in your family somehow.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
24 Jul 12
It really did matter to me, at that time. It made me feel really bad. My husband really tried hard to make me feel better about it and was so sorry about how his parents took it.
You're right the most important thing is that both of us were sure and happy about the wedding and now we're even happier with our 2 girls.
His parents accepted our marriage and family after 6 months. They suddenly reached out to us and then we visited them in teh province with our first born.
