when you are angry and he just said nothing at all!
By missjahn
@missjahn (4574)
Philippines
July 31, 2012 3:50am CST
it is just normal in a relationship to have misunderstanding sometimes. one may get angry or upset because of some reason. when he did something wrong, i will not react at first offense; but when doing it repeatedly, same or not the same mistakes, right now and then i became too angry to speak nicely as i pointed my reasons to him defiantly. but in my greatest frustrations, why on earth he did not response at all to the words i threw to him? it was being confirmed that i made my points righteously and correctly. well, it was like an admission that was why i did not received a single reaction from him. that answered why he was just sitting silently without noise 
. oh gosh, is there any use for my greatest drama effect to continue my sentiments and frustrations like that? do i still have the right to become furious? oh no, what about you, what you should gonna do when your partner is already submissively listening to you even not directly accepting the mistakes but showing signs of resentment and emotions like that? oh please have a heart 
. oh gosh, is there any use for my greatest drama effect to continue my sentiments and frustrations like that? do i still have the right to become furious? oh no, what about you, what you should gonna do when your partner is already submissively listening to you even not directly accepting the mistakes but showing signs of resentment and emotions like that? oh please have a heart 9 responses
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
I will give my answer by returning another question. Why you need to react in your drama or confrontation? Are you happy if he can react with justification which you said your right? So be glad that he cannot react or become silent everytime he scolding you. Meaning he admitted his mistake and he don't want to fight with you. For me you are lucky...
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
1 Aug 12
You know mostly woman like you.. if the man silence in conversation they pushing him to say something (which say to hear his side) then if he justify and depends himself women said see your over re-acting. Meaning where you put himself in that situation..?
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
ahem! well, i want him to reason out of course, but i want him as he response, what he uttered will set him free from the accusations i threw to him. not just to deny it to excuse and freed himself. to say, i will not act like that if i do not have valid reasons and evidences. if i am wrong, i will just listen to him but from all of it, i am not acting such without basis. believe me, it works for us.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
ah that one?! because somehow i would like to listen him saying that i am wrong and that he did not make any mistake at all of some sort. you know the hurt you felt when you proved that he is guilty at the accusations you threw to him. so means to say being silence is yes like he admitted that i am right. ;) okay?!
@debbygirl (213)
• Philippines
1 Aug 12
haha It's ok that you became disappointed with him with his silent reaction, i may too can be disappointed if that will happen to me. :)
When me and my husband fights, there are times he don't speak or answer back with all my questions and harsh word sometimes. When he does that, i try to observe him and most of the time when his silent, his actions and gestures shows hes very sorry for what had happen. And when i see that, i don't wait for words anymore.:)
Or on the other hand, we ladies, became frustrated when we want them to be sweet with us when we are frustrated but sometimes they are not.They cannot get the clue that when a women is frustrated or angry, what she only needs is the mans sweet gestures like hug with "sorry" or something that will make a girl smile again. :)
@debbygirl (213)
• Philippines
1 Aug 12
yeah! that's a girl standard! :)
so hard to reach by man sometimes.. hehehe
@churchill1980 (764)
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
oh, that's my husband's way too when i burst out into anger!he would just keep silent. i seldom do it, because when there's something wrong, i don't nag, i just keep silent and don't talk to him. but when silence cannot do the trick, i burst out and tell him things i keep for long. and when i do, he's just there, listening i think. and when he sensed that my anger is over, he would ask for a sorry and give me a hug. oh, how i miss him!
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
yeah, we are the same. i will just being silent too at the first offence and so on and on until i burst into anger when kept that lapses repeatedly. before, he will not be able to put himself down in a conversation but never would i surrender as long as i knew that i am siding myself right. i guess he really wants to sustain our relationship to last, that is why as i chided him, he will meditate on it if he was really wrong. well, to say, rare in our partnership (haha) that myself caused trouble, it is always him. thanks for joining here. :)
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
1 Aug 12
i do keep in silent too if my guy just talks and talks when being angry. When a guy is angry, no word gets in his mind at all and if i talk, it is for nothing and can't solve problem.
I think your man does right to keep silent when you are angry and just talk and talk. We should talk when both are back to normal only because one speaker, we need one listener.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
1 Aug 12
oh yes, because if both of you do the talking, how would you be able to comprehend. if one does, do listen and when you he something to say, be silent and hear him. do that way so that you can solve a problem without being so nuisance. right that both of you should not put any self to humbleness, the point would be so useless because one assert this and one thus but unable to accept it. that is the hard thing about that. thanks
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
Sometimes being passive at some point in time, especially when one is so angry, is helpful, that is to avoid unnecessary clashes and even to point of violence. Sometimes we need to speak our mind in the right time.
As what I have just read, it appears that you need to talk with an open heart with your partner when things are somewhat ok, just to be in the same page. It takes two to tango, really. Good luck @missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
very well said... but to say sometimes i want to dance alone moreover if i know that i am right and affirmative points to say. tough at that. you are right that sometimes being silent would not form a clash between you two cos to survive a relationship to work till end, when one is hot tempered; the other must cool down so that you cannot form a fire that would breach your relationship with one another. it is okay, i can manage this one for i pray also so to settle things in a mess between us. thank you
@tetris15 (539)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
there could be reasons why he chose to just shut his mouth and not respond at all to all of your sentiments. one could be that he doesn't care because it's pointless if he is to defend himself to a battle that is already lost. he's been weighed, been measured and have been found wanting. some guys can tolerate a blabbermouth partner but some don't. well, it's much better to deal with a silent boyfriend than those who has a ready hand that snaps at a sight of a nagger.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
1 Aug 12
well said... from all senses, i knew there is no perfect relationship. i can tolerate even hurt inside, minute misdeeds. but as far as i am concerned, if i knew that thing if being done constantly, it will break the relationship. i am not saying that i will be martyr and still clinging on even one would wanted a break - up but as long as we are held each one in this relationship, try to watchful not to do the thing that always caused quarrel. i told him what is the use of sticking myself to you that it is hard for you to do what i wanted from you. its not for me but for us. and sort thing like that. so and so. thank you, so long for it would be a long story to tell. at least he is okay now. :0)
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
probably, you said it right and he is contemplating on how to respond and what to do next. guys need spaces and time to react. they are logical and discerning. i think it is wise to give him more time to reflect on what you said and he will return in a better mood. you have to do nothing. it is just a guy's thing.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
oh yes right at that. maybe i am just being adamant pertaining to what i believe is right. it worked to him for us but it takes years to get what i want. from the two of us, i am the disciplinarian for sometimes he acted like a child and naughty. well, maybe that is the thing why we lasted for years because he knew i really care as long the two of us stick together because if i don't, why should get tired to exert to let him know that he is wrong. thanks for posting in here :)
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
31 Jul 12
My husband tends to do this because he knows that when I'm pissed, nothing that he can say will make me see any reason for at least...3 minutes, not unless I have stated everything that I feel I should let out in my anger. After that, only then will he tell me he's sorry and that's it. Or explain it to me in one sentence, a talent he has perfected. (He always make me feel like what I have to say in 3 minutes he can summarize in one sentence, lol!)
In our case, it is much better that if one of us is already mad, better not "join" in or it will end up ugly. Only one of us is allowed to get mad, not us both. That's our agreement to avoid verbal spats, to avoid saying anything that we might regret later on.
So far it is working for us. 
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
haha! alright...
he knew what to do when i am mad already. he will keep his distance and not to bother me because if i am angry i am really angry. in a minute or so, for unknown unusual habit, i cool down my temper and i be doing fine. but beware to commit the same thing again. he said to me that, "do not get angry when i am far and there is nothing he can do to reach me because he will not be able to do a thing to console me." oh then, all were forgiven and get ready for another offence haha
@coxjoseph5 (209)
• United States
31 Jul 12
I assume your husband is also a Filipino, at least you look like a Philipina.
Filipino's have the temprment to be instantly mad and not speak to you. Then in anywhere from two to four hours the problem is completely gone, forgotten!Then they are pleasant as if there has never been a problem. I have never seen this trait in any other women, only Filipina.
So it seems to me your husband is giving a taste of your own medicine. My wife is Filipina so i know first hand what Im talking about, but i dont get teh silent treatment very often.
By the way he is not listening to you.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
haha! ahw... very nice sir. i feel love struck in the air when you said your wife is a filipina. he is not my husband yet, soon to be next year hopefully after my graduation. oh yes, that he was not be able to speak whenever i am in the right position of my drama -haha... my temperament would rise to highest peak if he will give me wrong or irrelative reasons. he knew already how to ease my temper. he will not fall for my temperament more if he is wide awake he did a mistake. alright, of course he did listened to me. for somehow, he tried not to commit same mistake again. good for me and for us 
thanks for posting in here