Special Treatment

@ARIES1973 (11426)
Legaspi, Philippines
August 10, 2012 6:12pm CST
How would you react if one of the people you are working with is giving you special attention? I think I am too old for this topic but this is really happening and I am not comfortable with it. This guy would see to it that whenever they prepare something in their office for snacks(they do it oftentimes... in the afternoon), he would bring something for me which cause my group mates to react in funny ways. I thought at first, that would just be okay as he was just trying to be friendly. But doing this thing on a regular basis, there must be something wrong going on. I don't know how to react but the truth is I'm getting annoyed. I wanted to tell him to stop and get away from me but that I don't think that is also fair. He is not even courting me. What should I do?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@syramoon (654)
• United States
10 Aug 12
Is he your age? Or is he older? If he is your age maybe he does like you. I mean a lot of people have been known to try to win over they like with food or other treats. If he's older than you by a bit maybe you remind him of his daughter or niece or someone. Or maybe he's just the friendly sort who sees something in you that makes him want to be friends. If group mates are picking on you about it, ignore them. They're the ones with the problem not you. They're just jealous because he's bringing you a treat and not them.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
11 Aug 12
Hi syra! He is much much younger than me. Thank you for sharing you opinion. I would consider this one. Yes, for as long as he is not doing things that might harm anybody, everything is okay. That is why my hair is growing longer and longer each day. lol
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
11 Aug 12
BTW Syra, I noticed that you came from other country. I don't know if this term about long hair also applies in your place. I just heard it from younger generations, they said you have a long hair if you have a lot of admirers. (Just for the info).
@hsofyan (3446)
• Jakarta, Indonesia
11 Aug 12
Don't be prejudiced. What is wrong if he cares about you? Should you also care about him, for the sake of good relations and fruitful human beings. CMIIW
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
12 Aug 12
He he yeah! Thank for sharing hsofyan.
@roberten (3128)
• United States
11 Aug 12
The key phrase is "I don't know how to react...." This tells me that there is improper communication between the two of you. The solution is communication. You may need to take him aside, let him know his actions are making you feel uncomfortable and ask him to modify his behavior. Better now than later, it will be worse if people get the wrong idea. If he doesn't respect your wishes, you may have to take it up with your supervisor. Be careful but do not let it go on too long. A soiled reputation is difficult to clean.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
11 Aug 12
Thanks for the suggestion roberten. But wouldn't they think I am already jumping into a conclusion? Or I am over reacting? They may say that he is just doing this thing because he is just trying to be friendly. But I will consider your suggestion. Thank you very much.
• Philippines
11 Aug 12
There's no doubt that he likes you. Are you even close friends? Do you feel comfortable with him? If you feel awkward with him then you should just tell him why he is acting this way.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
11 Aug 12
We have been in this place for more than a month and we are not staying for long. I will consider this suggestion. thank you for sharing your opinion jvincent.
• Philippines
11 Aug 12
thoughtful gesture... but if it's making you uncomfortable, i think you should just tell him exactly that.
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
11 Aug 12
Thank you for sharing you opinion jc.
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
11 Aug 12
Well, a few gestures here and there is fine with me. I would enjoy it with my team or friends; like when he comes up to give me some snacks I will share this with my team mates. But if it's already to the point that I am becoming uncomfortable, and of course affecting me at work, I will probably have a casual talk with him about this. I of course will make it sound as if I am just thanking him and I am not resenting it, but I will tell him that some people might take it the wrong way and I will be totally upset. I will still of course offer that we can still be friends, but put it in a more professional level. I can't just go and talk to him about how this makes me uncomfortable because the tables might be turned and I might end up being someone who reads a lot of things even to the most innocent of actions. Unless of course you know him well enough that this happening is very unlikely.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
11 Aug 12
Thank you Raine for the comprehensive response. I hope I'll have the courage to tell it to him. I am trying weigh all actions that I have to do as it might affect our relationship with everybody around.
@Axai2012 (371)
11 Aug 12
You wouldn't really know unless you ask his intentions isn't it? It is difficult to assume but his niceness signals that he likes you. If it bothers you too much just tell him nicely to stop.
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
11 Aug 12
Thank you for sharing your opinion Axai. In as much as I wanted to tell him to stop and get away from me, I don't know also if that is the right thing to do because it might affect our group as we are just new in this place and we will be here on a temporary basis.