You are pathetic!!! says a voice inside my head
By salma07
@salma07 (639)
India
August 13, 2012 1:03pm CST
Well, sorry to use this space to rant about my life, but i just cant help it. i understand if you have short post saying me to cheer up which in fact points out that you didnt read the entire things...thank you!!!!
I dont want to talk about this is anybody but i feel if i dont say it outloud my head is gonna explode...
lately i am have emotion imbalance mainly because, well, everyone is just happy..i am great listener of their sorrow..i've listen to each one of them going through tough times and but at that time i feel genuinely sorry for them and wish that everything turn out to be great...i use to comfort them now when i see their happy face i cant help but feel a tiny bit jealous..everyone is moving far apart from me and i dont really want to talk to them at all....
i dont want to see them i am through with them but out of love and friend and kindness they are still sticking by my side i just dont want to be around them but they dont really get it..i dont have a place amongst them anymore..i've always be along and always will i had nothing to do and i will have nothing to do about their life and about them, but why still stick to my side it pains, why would it pain ...i am suppose to be happy for them right..they are my friends and my family and i do love them, but this excess of "pinkish aura" around them makes me wanna puke and i donno when i am going to snap..but i better get away from them now or else i dont what will happen..
i believe just by looking at them i am going to break i decided to stop talking to my friends giving them some stupid excuse or the other...but i really feel pathetic thinking this way..i feel i am a total b*** for not participating but i cant help it...i wonder whether they were even my real friends...and what is a real friend..what exactly they do to each and what kind of company they have.
3 responses
@meumeu25 (913)
• United Arab Emirates
14 Aug 12
I had felt like that before then I figured out I was just jealous and impatient. When I was in your situation, I felt ashame of myself because I thought " how could I feel this way, I am suppose to be happy for them and here I am feeling envious", I don't know why I felt that way but I guess it was because I also wanted to be happy like them but I thought they had forgotten about me, now that they are happy. We all have our moment just be patient, it's not that they forget about you, maybe they are just enjoying there moment, we all know happiness don't last forever so might as well enjoy it. Remember this, when they are lonely again, they will be back to you, which only means that you are one of the lights in there lives:)), but back to what you are feeling, I think you should spend some time for yourself and think of the positive things that happened to you, try to motivate yourself that in time you will also be happy like them. And don't let your emotions take over you. Don't compare yourself to them because if you compare yourself to the less fortunate, you know you are one of the lucky ones.
Goodluck :)
@salma07 (639)
• India
14 Aug 12
Thanks meumeu,
I guess you are right i was feeling bit left alone, now i just reading some inspirational books and some comics to keep me busy and as far away from my friends i know i love them and i'll always be there for them as they'll be for me. But i also plan on taking up something which i like since i'll be free for sometime..thanks a lot meumeu you are really a sweet person for coming and encouraging i guess there is still hope for me..thanks a lot it really cheered me up..
@meumeu25 (913)
• United Arab Emirates
17 Aug 12
Lol, I think what you are feeling is just normal, you don't become a bad person just because you feel like that towards your friends or loved ones, of course you have hope. That feeling will pass in time just be patient :). And good luck to what ever you are doing :).
Have a great week end.
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
15 Aug 12
Hi dear salma,I think you consider too much may be it due to you in a bad mood,so I think now you should do nothing but just have a relax,then after a few days later you will find out that everything is OK for you,man always make wrong decision when he/she in a bad mood,actually your friend do not have problems and everything is normal as usual,just because your mood put the normal stuff into unusual,pls pls relax my friend,everything will be OK for you.
@tiffnkeat (1673)
• Singapore
14 Aug 12
There are seasons in life when we feel we are close to a particular group of friends, and when we feel drifted away. It may be good to leave the group for awhile, find new people to be with or just be alone. Who knows, you might miss this group and come back.
If you feel it is an emotional imbalance, why not just seek out a doctor and get some advice?
