Had the nerve to ask me - seriously
By 911Ricki
@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
August 17, 2012 9:26pm CST
The lady I work with 18 year old daughter got knocked up, she just had the kid a few days back. This girl is 18 never had a job, and never had responsibility in her life. Now the difference between me and her is I have had responsibility, and had bills, rent, jobs, etc since I was 16, and worked since I was 9. I was told years ago in high school if I get pregnent its my issue, and deal with it (more for anything in my life, but thats an example). So.. I bought and took birth control, even if I wasnt daating someone.
The father of the child never worked either, nor does the grandfather, and this girls mother works 1 job, she makes what I make (little less) on my job 1 which isnt enough to pay your own bills. She rents a 4 bedroom house, has 4 cats, and I believe 4 dogs with rats. This lady quiet her other jobs, and only been working the one job.
This ladies son's then girlfriend was pregennt (and had her kid a few days later), again her son, and his ex girlfriend have never worked. She called CAS on this girl accussing her of being on crack, and want the kid. Now I dont know how it work, but they arent going to take the kid (if shes unfit or whatever and give it to her).
The kid(s) are here, and none of them thought about cost. So they ahve nothing, and cant afford their rent, and the child. She came into work, complaining she has nothing, and this one kid (her daughter) costs so much, then comes over to me saying your young, you have multiple jobs I need to borrow mmoney for the kid.
I just looked around the room, and laughted at her. I dont mind helping people, I have a friend once in awhile buy diapers, formula, whatever but she tries, and last resort she asks and she will accept me buying it, not giving her the money. This lady wanted cash, I told her keep dreaming, Im not throwing my ahrd earn money to her or her daughter she couldnt keep her legs closed time to own up and take responsibility or put the child up for adoption if she cant afford it. Now if she was trying, worked even leading up the the birth, I wouldnt mind buyiing the items but they want money, and I know its teaching them nothing.
So all day this lady, her sister, and her stupid kid were standing there carrying on how mean I am, and such a biatch. I just kept laughting, I told her maybe she should go take some parenting classes with her daughter. My parents taught me to take responsibility, I know now working 4 -5 jobs I couldnt support a child, I fork out the money for birth control, I would never dream of not working, and paying my own way if I did get pregnent I would take responsibility, save, and I know some would help me. My parents would help out to a point, I would sit at home staring at a wall with the entire family. I just couldnt believe she had the nerve, then when I told her no I have my own bills, its not my responsibility to care for her or her daughter she got all nasty.
2 people like this
11 responses
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
18 Aug 12
That's just the trouble. Girls keep opening their legs to boys without thinking about responsibility. There I way too much holding hands out to dig into your pockets when they create their own drama and problems. I stayed a virgin until I got married. My daughter wasn't but married the father. Big mistake. She never asked for help. I helped because she is my flesh and blood. I didn't charge her for anything I did for her. She hibiscus but she didn't screw around with guys. She knew what could happen and behaved accordingly.
1 person likes this
@oXAquaXo (607)
• United States
19 Aug 12
I really don't think this is an issue dealing with the mother, but with the innocent child. You may have a beef with the mom, and she probably is completely undeserving of the money and may be the laziest person on earth, but the money is for the kid, not the parent.
This child didn't do anything to deserve such bad parents and grandparents. The child has done nothing wrong. So don't think that you're helping the parents, but helping the child. Maybe put your problems away and try to help out? Obviously, in the end, it's up to you, but give it some thought.
~ Annie
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
19 Aug 12
I offered to buy diapers, and items but they want the money. So clearly they ahve other plans, its not the first time anyone from the family has scr*wed others over like this which is why I offered the items. I have items to pay for bills, and such for myself, before anyone else. If they cant provide the necessities the day the child comes home from the hospital, maybe they need to rethink their lives, and the new childs life. So I can think the money is going to the child, and be doing good, until I hand them my hard earn money working 4-5 job regularly busting my butt, to live and pay my way, when none of them lift a finger, and asking others for money. I wont be giving them a penny or offer any help, after their rude behaviour and language they can deal with the consequences including CAS.
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
19 Aug 12
They have some nerve demanding money from you,a stranger,to help out with this baby...They would have a nerve asking it of their own FAMILY (if any of them were working),let alone someone who's only coincidentally working with the kid's grandmother...or Were you wearing a "Free Cash Here" t-shirt that day by any chance?
You went above and beyond in offering to buy some stuff,but they had no right to put you on the spot about it at work..Why didn't they all go to your Boss and try for a handout there? It might have solved your problem....
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
20 Aug 12
While I do think that it is okay to judge the mother and grandmother of the child that you are talking about, I don't think that it is right to judge the baby in this situation. She is just a baby and hasn't had the opportunity to start to make something of her life.
Now for the people that were asking you for money and then getting upset when you didn't give them anything, they should think about the fact that there is no reason that they can't make the money that they need to take care of their own.
I was 22 when I got pregnant with my daughter and at that time I didn't have very much. However, I did choose to continue working my full time job and also my part-time seasonal job so that I would be able to provide for my daughter. Yes, I did have medical card and I did have food stamps for a time, but I did everything that I could to provide for my own and never asked a friend or really even a family member for help.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
19 Aug 12
Money doesnt come easy now a days, and many of us live paycheque to paycheque. I told her I dont mind buying the items such as diapers, and so on. But she wanted the money, so Im assuming she wants to go blow it, and not actually buy the child anything. So I wot be bothered with her complaining, and nonsense.
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
19 Aug 12
They were the one DEMANDING help and they call you a B! Wow, some people just don't have manners at all.
You have every right to refuse help especially to people like this. I wouldn't give a single cent if i were in your shoes. You don't owe them.
@shaggin (71676)
• United States
18 Aug 12
Wow I cant even understand in the least little bit why this woman thinks its ok to ask you for money and then them all acting like you are so mean because you wont give up your hard earned money to them. Either the womans husband or the new mother need to go out and get a job to support the baby. Asking other people for money is ridiculous. Thats wonderful you are responsible and taking birth control.
@adforme (2114)
•
18 Aug 12
This is a reason that some women find themselves on government assistance. Making poor choices and being uneducated is a sure way to be taken advantage of. I would imagine that someone like this eighteen year old could use services such as those provided by Planned Parenthood. If she chooses to vote, hopefully she will vote for a candidate allowing for a better future for her and her child. Being pro choice gives young women more options, family planning should be as important as jobs.
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
18 Aug 12
good for you ricki!!! some people need to realize that they need to take responsibility for their actions. the mother needs to make her daughter get out in the real world and get a job to support that baby! the daughter needs to get the baby's father to help support that baby financially as well. i'm so grateful that my kids are a lot smarter than most of today's teens. my daughter won't even look at a boy twice. she wants to accomplish her goals before she settles down. my son, he's decided he's not ready to be a daddy and "won't go there" with any of the girls. he actually gives the girls respect.
@Sookeh (6)
• United States
18 Aug 12
It is no ones responsibility but their own to take care of their kids. If other people help out, they help out. But to get so mad when you turn them down for cash. Frankly it sounds like she just wants to be on welfare instead of working at all.
I know that when I need help I look around online for upcoming sales on things I need, coupons, and work on the survey sites in addition to whatever else I can do to make money. Asking family and esp. friends is my last resort.
@snookms (53)
• United States
19 Aug 12
I believe if people are going to have children they need to be prepared and ready to work hard and provide for that child. I do believe some people do need help sometimes and there is nothing wrong with needing help but you must be willing to help yourself first and foremost. Those poor innocent children did not ask to be raised like that. They did not ask to be born. I do believe that if you cannot provide for a child then you need to give it to someone who can provide for it. There are so many people in this world who can't have children who want them so much and cry themselves to sleep at night because they can't have one. Some of these same people cannot afford to pay thousands of dollars to adopt one and it really is not fair to them. There is a great foster to adopt program in most states now that is very beneficial to the working class people who can afford to care for a baby but are not rich in order to pay for a private adoption. I do not think you were wrong for refusing to give them money. If they really needed stuff for the baby then they would have accepted your offer of buying diapers and formula.
