"your children needs your presence more than your presents"

@prashu228 (37205)
India
August 20, 2012 2:05pm CST
hello friends, Parenting is a procedure of upgrading and taking care of physical ,emotional, communal and intellectual growth of a child from early years to maturity. It is the most important part of life. But most parents , in the modern society, neglect this , they don't spend time with children, they just buy expensive gifts to their children, and ignore the fact that, their children needs their presence but no the presents. As a result, the children are not having proper upbringing, which in turn has a bad effect on the society. friends please share your views, how do you spend time with your children?
2 people like this
22 responses
@chillpill90 (1936)
20 Aug 12
I have to agree a child needs time with their parents not just gifts and toys. Where I life next door to me there is a 6 year old boy and his parents hardly spend anytime with him the dad doesnt work and so is home all day and could look after the son since now he is on summer holiday. But he doesnt he takes the kid out to his family and leaves him there for a few days. The mum is the same its like they do not want the kid. They also do not actually cook they have macdonalds and takeaways everyday and im thinking how will this kid learn about the importance of fruit and vegetables. I knew before that these parents do not really get what being a parent is about but only just realised today how spoilt he was, he has a tv in his room a playstation 3 in his room, a iphone, a psp, a wii. Im thinking he is 6 and he gets everything he asks for and it made me think that all they do is just try and buy their sons love. I know that when I have kids I will not spoil them but they will not go without either I will always give my kids time with me and make sure they earn treats and will give them presents when they deserve it. I HATE PEOPLE WHO BUY KIDS FEELINGS.
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
hi chillpill90, i am really impressed by your thoughts, , oh my, whats kind of parents are they? such children ,who didn't find love with the parents, may become spoilt brats in future, this is really not good for the future society.. God save them.. You will definitely become a good parent..nice thoughts..
• United States
21 Aug 12
Wow you were really passionate here so I gave you a ' + ' ! I would have to agree with you on the "buying feelings" and a lot of what you have said here. Its a sad thing to see this happening and when they're having take out every day he will probably be obese... just because they don't and haven't taken the time to teach about home cooked meals etc. I don't like to "bash" anyone and i don't mean to. But this needs to stop in our society or there won't BE any society in our future.
@mensab (4201)
• Philippines
20 Aug 12
it is not necessarily evil to give presents to children. your discussion assumes that parents show their love through their presence and not presents. it is true and i agree with that. presence can not be substituted by any presents. an embrace and kiss can not be replaced by dolls and toy cars. but if you can do both, presence and presents, then you will receive the love that children are capable of giving.
21 Aug 12
Presents definitely cannot replace the role of presence. Most kids naturally respond to presence rather than presents. As a matter of fact an infant cannot do anything with your presents but will make do with your presence. Parents should always work out an arrangement where one of them can always be available when the other is not around. I believe that presence is the most important. For short we parents work our kids so why loose their love in the process.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
hi, yes both are required, but , presence is most important, no other can replace the companion of parents,thanks for the response
@marguicha (205280)
• Chile
21 Aug 12
It is true that children (and adults) are in more need of presence than presents, even if they donĀ“t realise it. Unfortunatly, this society is centered in having instead of being. Although it is nice to have a present, it cannot be given instead of more important things, such as the love that is implied in being there for them.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
hi , i agree, people are not in a realizing mood, the same applies, when the children grow up, and don't spent time with their parents, all they get what they sow..
@marguicha (205280)
• Chile
21 Aug 12
They both miss a lot of love and i`s a pity. But I believe that if you ant something (love included) you have to put some energy to get it.
@ARIES1973 (11469)
• Legaspi, Philippines
21 Aug 12
At this point, I think I am somewhat guilty for not having much time for my children. I am working in a different place and I can not go home everyday even if I want to. So every time that I am at home, I would see to it to have much quality time for my family, listening to their stories, watching movies together and dining out. I need to work for their future but there are really times that I feel guilty because of this situation.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
try to spend the quality time, when ever you go there, this will definitely make them happy
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
21 Aug 12
I agree that children appreciates our time more than any material thing. But, if the kids are used to getting gifts, they could grow up to be materialistic people. They may have a lot of toys and clothes or even money, but deep inside they are empty.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
oh yes, i agree, no other thing in this world can be a substitute for parents love , affection and their presence, and its every child's right, to get those from their parents.
@caopaopao (12490)
• China
21 Aug 12
It's right, prashu. Children need their parents' presence more than their presens. It's reasonable. But, in fact, many parents leave their children with children's grandparents. Some parents are really so busy that they have no time to take care of the children. They have to work for a living. It's a loss for the children's growth.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
yes, such children are at loss, but cant help, and it okay upto some extent, if they are with their grandparents..
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
*its okay
• Philippines
21 Aug 12
I agree with you. It's better to be with our children than just sending them gifts from overseas, from other cities, provinces or states. Our presence is much need in upbringing our children. They need our love, care, guidance, support, etc. from us their parents. Happy mylotting.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
i agree, you have the best of thoughts, regarding,upbringing of children happy mylotting
@SIMPLYD (90788)
• Philippines
21 Aug 12
It doesn't necessarily mean that we just have to be always present for our children, but we should also try our best to give them presents in our own way, when the occasion calls for it. And we should give them presents that can really help them in a positive way.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
agree, anything out of control is harmful, yes ,presents should be given , as they are your own kids, but presence is more important, many parents try to substitute their presence with the presents that's wrong..
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
21 Aug 12
hi!! it is true. presence of the parents is the most important, i just like me i'm taking NLE my mother want to come here and give support. my mother always thier whenever we need them.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
good to hear that, your mom is so helping and caring, hope you too will be the same, to your children..
• India
21 Aug 12
Time is the most precious investment required to nurture any relationship. You are right that children need their parents presence more than presents. Presents can be a reason for momentary happiness, but true happiness that can be cherished life long is the time spent with our parents. Our parents presence around us make us feel protected and loved. Even the gifts that they buy us express their love. If I would be asked to choose one, I would choose my parents presence because their presence is more precious for me than any material gift.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
yes, true happiness comes with our parents presence, which is very useful, for us to develop as a good human being .
@rawar31 (112)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
21 Aug 12
I agree with you 100% but how can a parent that has no choice than to be in another country( the choice is stay within the bond for a few years or pay over $300,000)send their presence to their child?
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
in such case, either the whole family should shift to that country, or else, one of the parents should be with them, the other parent can take time at least once in a year to spend time with children, so that, the children wont miss them , or else, if the parent returns after few years , the children wont recognize them as their loved ones, and (may even call them as uncle and aunty lol) and cant get that bonding after such a gap, which is very bad for the relationship.
• Philippines
21 Aug 12
Can't agree more. I also believe parents are the best teachers. They are the one who mold the young minds into better individuals in the society.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
yes they are very much required, by children during their young age, as the children learn each and everything from their parents, which reflects, in future..
@manduri20 (108)
• Uganda
21 Aug 12
i think parents should really spend a lot of their time in future because the way you raise your children is the same way they will raise their children and if you did it very wrong i don't know what the future will be with such people and they will always blame their problems on you. That is how my parents raised me you are lucky i could buy you a car because my parents couldn't afford it which is so wrong, the car is good but not better than the birthdays,breakfasts or lunches you shared cause those are the only moments we treasure in life.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
yes, the story always repeats, good to hear that , your parents realized it ,and as a result they have a beautiful child, who is so thoughtful, and can recognize the true treasures of life .
@alkemyst (26)
• Canada
21 Aug 12
This is why so many kids of rich parents act out and need to see shrinks for psychological problems. When kids don't grow up with love from their parents (or they don't see it because the parents are too busy with work), they build resentment and/or have attachment issues.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
i agree, such children, always look for love and affection, in their life, yes they do have attachment problems, and the parents also have to face the same , when they grow old, as they don't get what is expected from their children
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
24 Aug 12
Hi prashu, I believe it is very important that parents spend quality time with their child, and this is possible even whit both parents working. We may not be able to spent all the time we would like with them,but make the best of the time that you have. Listen to your children,it's so good to know that someone loves you enough to care what's going on in your life. Presents can never take the place of love. Blessings.
@Hatley (163859)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Aug 12
hi prashu here InSouthern California the rents on apts and house payments are so high both parents have to work oin order to pay for the roof over their kids heads. Its allwell and good to say moms have to stay home and raise the kids but their children have to have a home to live in. in other words people here are doing the best they can in raising and caring for their children. maybe in your country the cost of living is lower but here people do what they have to provide for their families.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
hi, i do agree, parents work hard, to fulfill are the requirements of children, but mean while should not forget ,that, presence is more important, no ,cost of living is not all low here, but yes parents ,spend their quality time with their children, more importance is given to the children up bringing.
• India
25 Aug 12
hello friend....i think you are absolutely right in saying this because in todays hectic life no one has time for their children as they haveher nannies or at to stay out most of the time at work and the worst sufferers are the children who have to be at the mercy of either Nanny,servant or at the crechwehereas the best place the child should have been was with their parents.Ideally this should have been the situation but this is not possible so i personall feel the in that case the parents should provide quality time to their children when they are with them.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
21 Aug 12
My kids are still small that I think they like both but I think it is true that to have parents' company nicer than their gift when I was small. I am a stay home mom so I get to spend time with them all day so I can always do that even when they get big.
@hsofyan (3446)
• Jakarta, Indonesia
21 Aug 12
I agree with you. The presence of parents is more important than the gift came. There are inner relationships that must be maintained between parents and children.
@prashu228 (37205)
• India
21 Aug 12
very few people realize,those feelings, and such people definitely be good parents.
@Mashnn (4502)
21 Aug 12
I totally agree with you. Parents should try to spend as much time with their children as possible. Buying gifts for your children is ok but should not replace your presence in any way.