Want to be a Mommy
August 20, 2012 10:26pm CST
I am 28 years old and my partner and I want children and have been trying for about four years now. I've been thru depression due to not being able to concieve. I have been pregnat before but I was young and the father was a dead beat so I decided to stay in school and have an abortion which later I realize was the biggest mistake of my life. I beat myself up for so long over this decision I made and wondered why I couldn't concieve again. I always thought it was because I was being punished for choosing to kill my unborn baby. It caused me so much heart ache. I watch my friends having babies all the time and it makes me sad that I'm not a mommy yet. Women are having babies everyday that don't really want them or can't take care of them and my dream is to be a mommy and I would be a great one. Why does this happen to me? I've came to realize that if I was meant to have children it will happen and if not I'll just get a dog and be satisfied and enjoy my life anyway. God knows what he is doing. Are there any Mommy want-a-bes- out there that would like to share their experience?
• Valdosta, Georgia
21 Aug 12
I do have children but before we did I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. Then my husband and I tried for 2 years and nothing. I was starting to think I could not get pregnant and carry a baby full term. Then a few months later finally our miracle baby! We finally ended up getting pregnant. I am not sure with the first one if my body was just not physically ready or what. I did not think it would ever happen for us either and it did. After our first daughter I was very fertile from then on. I felt the same way though, hearing about all of the mothers that did not want their baby. It is frustrating. But I don't think your being punished for making a bad choice, we all make mistakes. If that was the case we would all be suffering for our mistakes all the time because I know I have made some bad choices too. I will pray for God's will to be done and I hope you do get to have your miracle baby as well!
21 Aug 12
Thank you so very much for your prayers and congradulations on your miracle baby. Your are very blessed. For a long time i did blame myself but I don't anymore, I made the best decision I could at the time and even though it wasn't the best one I wasn't capable of properly taking care of a baby at the time and the guy I was ended up going to prison for 6 years so what kind of life would that have been for a child to grow up in. Again thank you so much for your kind words and may God bless you and your family...
• Valdosta, Georgia
21 Aug 12
Your welcome! And thank you, now we have 3 healthy children and I do feel very Blessed. That would not have been a great situation for the baby. I really hope you have a baby soon, don't give up hope. Trust me it can happen when you least expect it.
• United Kingdom
5 Sep 12
I know a lady that got married at 20 years old and she tried hard to get pregnant. She was so upset that it never seemed to happen. At age 28 years old she gave up thinking it was impossible for her to get pregnant. She relaxed after that due to no more pressure. She had given up. Amazingly she went on a holiday and got pregnant. She got identical twin boys. Stress can stop a lady getting pregnant. Sometimes a lady is infertile. Two of my female cousins turned out to be infertile. One tried to have a test tube baby but that procedure put her health at risk. They both gave up. Their younger brother is divorced with one daughter. So my aunt only got one grandchild. You were a schoolgirl when you had your abortion. At that time you weren't to know it would give you a big heart ache for the rest of your life. I am sure that is where your stress comes from. You are fertile since you did get pregnant earlier in your life. Maybe it will take time for you but it will happen. Keep trying and pregnancy will occur for you. Try to feel more relaxed. Pregnancy can happen when a lady is very happy or very sad. It doesn't happen for a lady that is stressed. Good luck.
• United States
10 Sep 12
Hey there Brooke, I know the feeling, I am now 30 and still haven't any kids. We have been trying for 3 years and still nothing. But I just leave it in God's hands and I know that in his timing we will have our bundle of joy. No God is not punishing you though because of bad mistakes that you have made in the past. That is why they are called mistakes. I thought that God too was punishing me because of mistakes I have made in the past, but I learned that God is no way like that. That he is forgiving. I have recently learned though that I have thyroid issues, and that may have very well played a role in me not becoming pregnant, so I'm more of focusing on trying to get better and healthier and then just go from there. Have you gone to the doctor to get checked to see if there are any complications of you getting pregnant. I suggest that you do that and that can be a step into what you can do. I at first feared that maybe a doctor will tell me I can't become pregnant and never have kids. But just think of it this way, there are always other options including adoption. You can be a mother to someone who doesn't have a family or give a home to someone whose parents didn't want them. I have decided my husband and I that even if we can have children of our own that we also plan on adopting as well. I think the dog thing would be good for you too. Why not open a home to a dog that needs someone to love them as well. It'll bring joy in your life too. I have a dog and he is like the son I never had or hope to have one day. Don't let this depress you though there is always a way.
21 Aug 12
Hi brooke1822, i know how you feel. My husband and I trying our best to have a baby but i think this is not yet the right for us. We already seek medical advice from different doctors, underwent different test and medications just to find out if we can able to have a child, good thing everything is doing fine now. I am not yet pregnant right now but I am very positive to have it one day, my ob-gyne gave me a pill for ovulation so that I can get pregnant soon. My husband too taking multivitamins and some pills so that he can produce a good sperm. By the way, have you try to go to ob-gyne and your husband have try to seek for medical attention regarding about this? If not, better to get an appointment to your ob-gyne and urologist with they can help for pregnancy problem. Also dont blame of yourself for you have done in the past,you have to move on into your life and don't stress yourself too much. The most important now you already learned your lesson and if you will get pregnant I know you become a good mother. Good luck