I fall in and out of love with my best friend...
By HomeBase
@HomeBase (1153)
United States
August 24, 2012 2:12am CST
Uuuggh, it is so much work, this being in love. I have heard some say that being in love should not be "work", but I disagree, I think that to get the best out of anything in life that is worthwhile, one must work at it, and the more worthwhile a thing is, the more we must work.
I have a best friend that I have fallen in love with. The thing about it is, I never even used to THINK of him in "that way" at all, then one day he started talking to me the way that a "man talks to a woman" instead of the way 2 best friends talk to each other. I really never knew that he could be so kind and sweet and gentle...so, yes, his conversation melted my heart and I realized that I was in love with him. Of course after I told him that I was in love with him, his conversation changed. He backed WAAAAAY off.
Here is the thing, neither one of us is really ready for a relationship, not a really SERIOUS one. I mean, we both are over 21, we have 3 kids between us.
One day I totally LOVE him, the next day I damn near LOATHE him.
Do you think REAL love can be smooth and easy?
4 responses
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
25 Aug 12
Loving someone is easy , not sure about what you want is the hard part . You guys are already together its not like someone is fighting you , the only person it sound like is fighting you are you !
Love is fun and happy not pain and wanting space , if you love that person you will find yourself enjoying every time you spend with them and you will not want to be a part . If you want your space its best to take space and sort out your feeling and if its not worth it let the person go . No one deserve to be in a relationship that they feel trap or unhappy . I met my boyfriend when I was in high school and we been together ever since and I cannot imagine being apart from him . Go out and explore and then you will know . good luck
@HomeBase (1153)
• United States
25 Aug 12
SOMETIMES loving someone is easy, but life does not carve out the same love journey for all that it does for one. Some people meet, break up, meet up again, and THEN get together and make that commitment to marriage. Being in love and finding love is an individual type of thing, not a "one size fits all" type of thing.
You and your boyfriend are blessed in that you two found each other at a young age and are together now, which is good. However, I think that all people need space every now and then, otherwise it would seem that one would feel smothered.
My thing with this relationship that I am in is that the feelings are so intense and different than other relationships that I have been in, I really wonder if this man is "the One", but we are going through some challenges right now. I don't know whether to hang in there and wait the challenges out, or just move on. Time will tell, we shall see.
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
Every relationship experienced the ups and downs of it. No matter how perfect the couple looks to everyone there is always something to discover behind. Imperfection makes the relationship becomes perfect if both parties works hard to balance the ups and down side of it. But, if one gives up the heavy load then probably that may sink the other end of the boat.
Some relationship sails smoother than the other and some lost half way along the journey. Taking a break when too much load is hard to bear is a better choice. A little time to pause may hurt both parties for the meantime, but better than losing each other. Everyone dreams for a lifetime partner and no one wishes for a nightmare. Who can tell when the love he/she found is forever and who can tell who is pretending.
Trials in a relationship are either to build it stronger or break it forever. Therefore, give the best to last during the up season so when a relationship starts to fall down, each one has enough memories to remember. Keep in mind that, bitter moments can destroy every chances but passionate times can take away pains. When you have enough happiness stored inside your heart, you have something to hold whenever trials comes in between.
@HomeBase (1153)
• United States
25 Aug 12
Yes, I know all relationships have their ups and downs, I guess I am just trying too hard to figure out if he is "the One" or not, I don't know. I don't know if it is worth it to keep going through the ups and downs that I seem to be going through with this man, and only time will tell. This is a time for me to be patient and take things slow.
@cagampan1991 (364)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
I think you are still having doubts on what you really feel for your best friend. Whether he's just a friend or something else. On and off relationship is not healthy. Maybe you could give space to each other so both of you could realize what feelings do you have for each other. It's also good to have frequent communication with each other. Since you are not really ready for a relationship, i think you can be friends for now. And both seek for what really are destined for the both of you. And friends are forever, love lasts. So it's really good to just keep him as friend.
@HomeBase (1153)
• United States
24 Aug 12
It is really hard to give someone space and yet keep the lines of communication open, therein lies the problem. I want my space, but I don't want to lose him as a friend.
When I want my space that means that I don't want to talk to him or hang out with him for at least a month, he does not like that at ALL. He feels that I should just toughen up and deal with things without needing any REAL space from it. He is fine with us not being in touch for 2 or 3 days, even a week, but any more time apart than that and he is not happy about it.
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
Maybe you are both afraid of commitments so the guy backed off.
But then, you two can just remain friends meanwhile and see if the feelings will still be there after sometime. So, if it is still there maybe you two can reconsider to be just sweethearts with no commitments.
