How to deal with a problematic father?
By SinfulRose
@SinfulRose (3527)
Davao, Philippines
August 29, 2012 9:21pm CST
He commands me to do something for him. As a daughter, I accepted the task. But it turned out that I was not feeling good. So I asked him for some time. But he didn't like it so I was forced to get myself together and do what he orders me to do. However, along the way, instead of completing the task at hand, I found other better options to take. But he didn't like it so instead of wasting his money and my time, I didn't finish his task. Now, he's asking me questions. It seems he's determined to get what he wants. How can I tell him that what he thinks is not how it is?
He thinks he'll be saving up money by buying an old model of a printer. Not knowing how problematic it is to refill empty cartridges or how expensive it is in the long run to buy new cartridges should the old one is not functioning anymore. No matter how I explain these to him, he still won't back down his decision. How do I get through all his pride and all his idiot-filters? Does this kind of stubbornness go with age?
Mind you, he did worse than this for the past few days. The most of it was taken by my poor mother. How do a daughter deal with this kind of father who is ignorant but pig-headed that doesn't listen to reason or see matters past his own eyes? Is there a way to teach him to become open to other options?
2 people like this
3 responses
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
30 Aug 12
so let him buy the printer he wants to. Why do you care so about it? if it is a bad choice then he'll learn. You told him what you know and advised him and he chose to buy the printer anyway. The way I see it is that it's his business. I wouldn't let it become an issue between my dad and me. If he discovers that it is too costly then he will look for other options. Your dad is your dad and I think you should just accept him as he is. It really doesn't sound so bad.
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
30 Aug 12
Because when something goes wrong from software to hardware in his or our computer--which he usually use for his own--he calls to me since "I'm the IT". I am an IT but I don't want to settle to be his handy technician. I specialize in another field but he thinks I know all that encompasses that course. Seriously, it's a bother. And when he asks for a favor, I don't like his tone. It's not asking despite what he says afterwards but more of a command that you can't break yourself upon.
Before he buys something, he thinks that the thing he'll be buying is all good and well and if he already has it, he thinks that it's a very disobedient slave. He whacks on computers if it doesn't work the way he wants it to. He slams our keyboard if he sees that it won't type cuz he accidentally pressed something there that doesn't allow him to input what he types.
It matters big time to me because in the long run, it would be me and my brother that would be bothered.
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
31 Aug 12
My father went ahead now and bought the printer. He went ahead also and commanded me to install it for him. Now, I'm having a very bad headache since the scanner part of the device is not functioning as it should be. When I complained about it, he told me with his "authorative" tone, "I am not forcing you on that one. If you don't want to do it then don't. It's just that I can't afford the printer that you prefer" (Actually, he doesn't need to add more money into his budget, we can add the rest to be able to buy the good printer for our use) The guy just doesn't realize that he's being a jerk in more ways than one right now.
Now what am I gonna do with a father like that? If he's just a thing, I would surely throw him away ages ago.
Now what am I gonna do with a father like that? If he's just a thing, I would surely throw him away ages ago.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
3 Sep 12
"Commands"? "Ordered"? I know what my response would be if someone tried to "command" or "order" me to do something...
You are an adult. You can simply do what you want to do and ignore your father and his whining and temper tantrums.
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
4 Sep 12
I wish I am allowed to. I would have already done it eons ago but there are dire consequences if I follow this path. If the guy's in the bad mood, the other family members would be affected as well. Think of it as like this "If he ain't happy, no one else is allowed to be happy".
It's really annoying and frustrating. And God only knows how all of us are nearing the point of madness because of my pops.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
30 Aug 12
My father was a lot like that, but he mellowed in his old age. Maybe you'll have the same experience.
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
30 Aug 12
Sorry. But he's worse now compared to he was before. Like last year? He's more of a jerk now than then. But then again, he was from the very beginning, a jerk.
