Do you want to be.. Single parent?

Philippines
September 2, 2012 4:36am CST
What if a random person or your partner (not married) ask you to be a single parent? what is your reaction to this question? This topic comes to my mind, when I talked to my ex-boyfriend and we talked what if.. we meet again after from my work abroad (actually its 2 years contract) and then he already have family then he ask me if I want to be a single parent because he wants a child on me??? OMG that is so rude! Its like he is asking me to be his mistress? So for me no woman wants be a mistress and I don't want my kids doesn't have a father.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@nykalex88 (243)
• Philippines
11 Dec 12
He said that to you? It does only mean that he don't really love you even before that you were still in relationship. The only thing that he likes on you is your being beautiful and being sexy and that he want to have an offspring with you.
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
I already knew that, I feel like I give too much attention to him but I really cant feel his feelings for me.. He had so many girls around him, he also knew i get jealous fast but it doesn't matter to him. But im okay now.. he is far away from me now.
• India
3 Sep 12
Hi friend, most of the women's are not interested in being a mistress, in very rare cases some women's are interested in it for getting more money. There is nothing wrong in living as a single parent and taking care of the kids, if you lost your partner due to some reasons and have his kids, you are in the situation to take care of your kids as a single parent
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
Thank you for sharing of your opinion about independent woman, but well I understand your point and we have different beliefs and principles.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
He is so not worth it. Just be glad he did not became your husband or else he might do that behind your back too! I do not think it is easy to be a single parent, between me and hubby we are already having a hard time with the finances and all..what more a single parent?
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
I agree, and also sometimes there is no perfect relationship with the wife and husband so being single parent is so hard too..
• China
3 Sep 12
Your ex-boyfriend is too selfish,he was married and ask you to be his mistress.That is no fair.His wife and you also be hurt if you have relationship with him!
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
Yes your right, but I also have feelings and I don't want my life to be like that. But its also sad because the one you loved will tell you something like that, I'm very disappointed and its very painful.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
I will be very disappointed if he is my husband and talking to his ex and asking her if she wants him to father her kid. I think that he is crazy. Although I hear some of my colleagues said that they are better with a child only, I don't think that they wanted the father of the child to be married. Personally, I have never dreamed of becoming a single parent. Being a parent is very hard and I am not marrying someone just to have a child. I wanted a partner that who stay by my side as long as I live.
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
So true I will be disappointed too if either I'm the real wife or soon to be mistress. I don't want my life to be complicated like that, I wish that conversation never happens but I'm still glad that it was because I knew myself better now.
• Indonesia
3 Sep 12
it's very weird your boyfriend say that to you?? being single parent, especially in these days is very hard to do. you don't only feed up your child, but also have to think about his future. everyone could be good single parent due to condition, but not everyone ready and strong for it
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
Well he is my ex-boyfriend when we talked that time.. its just a friendly conversation with serious motives hehe, but yes your true its very hard to be a single parent, my sister right now is experiencing this situation the father of her 2 kid is now gone and fade for good.. so now she has a problem how to raise her 2 kids. So also its our responsibility to help her.
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
2 Sep 12
I think your ex-boyfriend is being really weird wanting you to have a baby with him and make you a single parent. It is no good being a man's mistress. I think you wish to get married and have children. Then you will have a husband and they will have a father. I got married when I was twenty two years old. A year later my oldest son was born. We got divorced six years after we were married. He moved back to Australia and I stayed in my home country the United Kingdom. My little boy then grew up without a father. I had another relationship and ended up with my younger son and my daughter. I don't wish to marry their father and see him once a week. I feel fine about being a single parent.
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
I agree with you that is so weird, but somehow I think he is just asking me if I'm independent enough to handle those situations or testing me if there is a chance to be with him again. But I also believe if your happy.. life is so easy for you because you don't have regrets and you don't have worries in life. I'm glad I met someone like you which a happy single mom. Well good luck to you and thank you for sharing your stories.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
2 Sep 12
As hard I find to believe there are people that want that. I think they are extremely independent and can't adjust life with a partner or someone else besides them, they must be a more lonely and kind of cold person. I could never do it, I would not become a single mother for my own will, I think it's very sad and most because of the child, the kid would see both parents at school and that is got hurt.
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
I agree with you that some people are lonely and kind cold person, but as long as I am in myself I wouldn't choose to be like that. I'm an independent person but I choose to be free and happy. I don't believe in perfect life but just to live the life that I wanted will makes me satisfied. And that is to have a happy life.
@rage35 (344)
• Philippines
2 Sep 12
That's really not good. No woman wants that to happen to them. All women do want their children to have a father and no woman wants to be a mistress indeed. Women are not like toys that after you make use of them then you just leave them behind. They also have emotions and they also wanted someone to love them for a lifetime and be with her forever. I don't want to be a single parent because I don't want my child as well to grow without knowing or having a father of their own.
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
That's the kind of thing I'm afraid off, being used by someone (especially someone you loved). I understand the fact that its a what if question and he just want to know my opinion but my point is in my age I don't play life such like that.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
2 Sep 12
being a single parent nowadays is very difficult and hardly anyone wants to be that parent. why would you ask for everything they expect you and your mother and father. difficult because I am a child of a single parent and I know what it is. always have to rely on yourself because a parent is difficult enough money and you do not always have to think about the other day. when just one parent that parent suffers hardship if only you better. so better to have a mother and father. just my advice to find a stable man who loves you and is ready to start a family with you.
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
Even I have a mother and father, I only grow up with my mom because my dad is working abroad and I never met my dad since birth just this 2007 he visited our country once and then went to abroad again after a year. I also know that feeling having no father beside me while I'm growing and wanting my father's arms. Well, thank you for your advice and sharing your stories, I promise I will find the man (well a real man) that who will love me and stay with me.
@blinjk (617)
• United States
2 Sep 12
I think you are right,no woman who wants to be a mistress.He should wait for you if he truly loves you or wants to have a child with you.It is not good for a child to have no father and to be a single parent is not that easy.
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
I believe in second chances but only for those person who really deserves it and somehow I'm still waiting for that person to show or prove his self that he really deserve second chance (but sadly no he didn't).
@moulee87 (320)
• India
2 Sep 12
Hi, Life will not have a meaning if you have relationship with such kind of people! I thing its better to move out of you boyfriend's life and get a good and better boyfriend to marry! Probably you can get him to the work place where you are traveling!
• Philippines
2 Sep 12
That is so true and I guess its one of the reason why I broke up with him. Thank you so much for sharing your thought and wonderful kind advise. :)
• Philippines
2 Sep 12
That's such a rude thing for him to ask from you. He didn't even cared a little about how you would feel. He would feel so lucky if you'd do that for him. I think he isn't the kind of peraon whom you should waste your time with. He's such a good for mothing man. And I don't think he's even fit to be called a man at all. I'm a single mom but if I only have a choice, I wouldn't want to be like this, I want my baby to grow up having a father, I want a complete family for him. Be strong and do whatever you think is right. You can always have a baby someday and with a loving husband as well who would support you all the way. Good luck..
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
Thank you so much Ms. joankath, you push me to keep away from him, I still have doubts but now reading all of you're comments it makes me strong to my decision and I'm hoping that one day I can still find a man that will love me the way every woman deserves.
@Otanetix (508)
• United States
3 Sep 12
Honestly, it would be very irresponsible for someone to ask another person to be a single parent. I would feel very bad for the child being raised by a single parent. While being a single parent is difficult, it is even harder for the single parent about his/her father. I could not even imagine how painful it would be for the woman having to explain to their child about the whereabouts of his/her father. Sometimes, I wonder how some guys who abandoned their family can live the rest of their lives and just forget about them; leaving one family to be with another family is completely sick and wrong. Do those type of guys not have a sense of morality?
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
Indeed, very well said! Thank you so much for expanding this topic and I figure it out how hard to be a single parent. I don't want to imagine that too but this is reality and were talking about our own life's and others life too. Its also painful to know that the one you love wants to do that to you and that's what I feel right now. But now just like katy perry song I'm wide awake. I understand that I believe I'm right in my decisions.