career or family?
By rizzaspeaks
@rizzaspeaks (391)
Philippines
September 11, 2012 9:07am CST
Few hours ago, before I left the office, I was offered a promotion. It's a great opportunity, a high position. The offer is really good..but there's one thing that stops me, it is also a transfer to a different branch, seas away from home. Any one in my status would surely accept the opportunity. Being the youngest, single, no commitments, no financial responsibilities, I should have nothing to worry. Yet, thinking again, accepting such offer would lead me away from my family. My mom is bed-ridden, I only see her every weekend. I am living with my sis, she'll be left alone if I'm away, she has no one to turn to.
I wanted career growth without sacrificing my time with my family. My family is the top of my priority list. Nothing can change that, not even the best career.
So maybe, I should close my door for now. Anyway, I have enough blessings to be grateful for. I am not starving, my needs are provided, no rush for more money.
What matters now is, I have a good job. and I have my family close to me.
9 responses
@shello (964)
• United Arab Emirates
11 Sep 12
Well, what would a good career serves you when you don't have a family to go home with. I think I know what will be your decision regarding you situation basing from your post. You just have to follow what your heart says after all those kinds of opportunities comes in many ways if you really deserve it and if it's bound for you.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
We should treasure them 'coz they are the first people who accepts the whole of us.
No one can replace them, nothing is more valuable.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Yes Shello, you said it perfectly well. Opportunities will come in many other ways if we really deserve them. I can live without my current job, but not without my family. They are my life, the source of my strength. My family is my inspiration.I won't be my best if my inspiration is lost.
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Sep 12
Sorry, it seems that nothing makes sense to me today...
What is your career again? What is your purpose as to why you go to work? Is it for yourself? For your family? Or for other reasons? What is the center as to why you do things the way you do them? Where are your responsibilities tied to? Is it to work or to family?
The question between work or family can only be answered by you. The same goes as to what your career is. What career are you leaning more into: work or family?
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Sep 12
Yes, never sacrifice one thing for the other unless if you're letting go only of something that could be a liability to you in the future. Such as your freedom just to acquire money that can easily disappear via your expenses. Never let material things blind you from seeing the big picture and limit you from achieving your true potential.
And if you do things, it would have to come from inside of you. Your decision is yours alone and not someone else's. Should something happen in the future as a consequence of your decision, you are responsible for it and it's no one's fault but yours alone.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
14 Sep 12
Yes, the question have already been answered by me (if you have read my post above). That's why I set priorities. I love my family, I love my work. And there are bountiful reasons why I love both. I do things for many reasons, I decide based on many factors.
My first responsibility is MY SELF. What makes me happy and contented is how my options in life are based. I don't live for a single reason, 'coz I have many sources of my happiness--my family and career are at the top.
I make decisions considering the foreseen results and not just because I lean my life to it. I don't sacrifice one thing just because I want the other. I weigh things according to the benefit of my both priorities.
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
a very good day to you rizzaspeaks,
your topic is one of the situation that i have come acrossed. it was last year when i have decided to make a career redirection. as my job is located overseas and very far from my family. so i have chose to resign and have think to start our family business during that time. aside from the business that i will be able to start, i can be with my family. but, every bits of my dream to start our family business and to stay with them had crashed. the support that i am looking for from my mom was put in vain. she always pushes me away, that she always asked me why i have leave my job. she always asked me to look for another one and why not to try working again outside the country like canada or australia. as a result, i have think that my decision was totally wrong. that i should not chose to be with my family and start our family business instead, i have just choose to be away from them and continue working overseas. and now, i am reaping the consequence of the resignation that i have done. so i am thinking to go back again working overseas. that i am looking for another opportunity to work outside the country. maybe then, my family will be happier to see me far away. honestly, same as you are, i am not starving, my needs are provided, no rush for more money, but since my family did not appreciated my presence here, so i am rushing things for me get out from here. as my depression is getting on my nerves.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
I'm sorry to know that. There are really different kinds of family. We don't know what they might feel if you did choose the other way-working abroad. I can't say you've chosen the wrong decision since you are not sure what might happen if you did go the other way around. There is no guarantee you will be totally successful if you work far from home. Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't base the righteousness of your decisions based on others' judgment (even that of your mom). The way I see it, your mom has frustrations. She is disappointed with the loss of your business, that she has no other recourse but "wanting" to revise the dark chapter of your lives. She hasn't moved on and her only way of hating things is pushing you. I don't think it's even proper for a parent to criticize or question her child's decision. Parents should be the first people who'll accept you and support you in all chapters of your life. My parents wanted us to stay closer esp. my mom.
I suggest, you should think of the good things you had so you can fight your depression. Don't stick to what your mom is questioning. You have nothing to explain to her, it's your decision, it's your life. You already know what will make you happy. If they can't appreciate your presence, don't argue. Sooner they will realize, their words are not helping.
@nidakhan001 (305)
•
12 Sep 12
hey rizz,
there are very few people now for whome family matters, its soo nice to hear that just for tha samke of your mom and sister you refused for that but i guess you should talk to them about this because family will always be there with you supporting you, be with you, but such oppurtunities rearly comes in life. I wish you get many more, its nice to hear still there are people like you who cares about family.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
They are my first reason of not accepting the offer. Yeah, it's a rare opportunity but I believe if things are meant for me, they will surely knock again. Thanks Nida:)
@gangnam_stylist (68)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
people have different strokes and different views. It depends if your family is closely-knitted and how attached you are to each other. I have friends who have left for overseas jobs for decades now while I'm here stuck with my family, though not as financially well-off as they are, I never regretted staying. Some are just more emotional, and some are just detached.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
That is true, building close family ties really influences our decisions. I have cousins, most of them work and live overseas, some far away too, and now their mom live alone and I pity her. She has been so supportive to her children all through out, but now they don't even show much care for her. Career and money drowned them. That, I don't want to happen.
@youiemohctar (30)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
hmmm..
why do we need to work? seldom says for myself.. for my family of course.. taking another opportunity is not denying of your responsibility as a son,daughter or partner to your family.. because the output of your good work is for them to profit.. its always for them that's why we wake up early and go to work spend your time in your desk doing peoples papers and everything.. there's always a reason about it why the lord has given you such kind of blessing..but then u have already decided.. im happy still what you have decided.. important is that don't regret stand at your decision.. ^^
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
You are right saying we are doing these things for them. My family is my inspiration, that is true, and for the same reason that I have to turn down the offer is because I know my mind will be restless because of our distance. I will be distracted knowing they are far away and if time comes that they'll be needing me instantly I won't be there. I'm sure I will regret if I fail to be there when they need me most. When I lost my father, I was at my work, far away from home, it was really pain when I see a lifeless inspiration. I wished I was there in his last breath.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
You remind me of my daughter.
She was also offered promotion 2 months back.
But she refuses since she was thinking that the position offered needs extra time.
She consulted me about it and I told her, she need to think of it.
Then she asks me, "how about the salary, the company offers a good bargain with the extra time"
I told her the same- she has to think of it.
Finally she says..."I will let it pass, it means I won't have enough time for myself and for us" (us- her family)
Yes, family matters most.
Time is the most precious thing that money can't buy.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
12 Sep 12
You have a loving daughter. Nowadays, young people are really career-oriented such that most will choose career over family. Your daughter is selfless, she doesn't want to sacrifice her family time in exchange of high salary.
Family is our lifetime treasure.
@vijayroy (212)
• India
11 Sep 12
Yes you are right, if I am in that position I will do the same but I will try to do one thing, for one week I will request our relative to be in home to support our family as that is growing our career why we should leave such an opportunity if it comes to us, if there is anyone then I will do same as you did.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
It's really hard to weigh things, but then we have to let go the least important.
I choose to stay with my family close,so I won't be wasting time away from them if they need me. Thanks Vijay
@elsino91 (440)
• Poland
11 Sep 12
well it seems like you know what to do then. If your family is you main priority and you're content with the financial situation you are in there really is no need to sacrifice what's most important to you for the sake of earning more when you don't really need it. My priorities may be a little different so I might choose differently. But that's me and not you. This is a decision that'll affect your life so you need to make it according to how you want to live your life. Best of luck in the future.
@rizzaspeaks (391)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Thanks :) Yes, it is kinda difficult to let go of the opportunity, but I stick with the most important thing, I need them more than my career. We have different priorities in life, it is but normal if we choose differently, what's important is--we are happy :)
