Ligation
By aejey322
@aejey322 (1004)
Philippines
September 13, 2012 5:38am CST
When you read it, what comes into your mind?
I actually am ligated right after i delivered my 2nd baby. I got pregnant out of plan, and for me it was really too early because our eldest was still going 12months then. I really got so scared, worried that I cannot focus on taking care of my first-born. Another thing was that I delivered him through CS delivery so the doctor really warned me that it's a big possibility that I might be bleeding internally because my scars inside my tummy is still fresh and I forced them to expand again. And the worst thing was, I honestly was not ready emotionally, physically and FINANCIALLY.
So I told my husband if he will agree for me to have ligation. After I explained to him everything, he agreed.
I know I have this guilt feeling of cutting-off the possibility of given another beautiful blessing (like baby girl? because both of my babies are boys). But I believe I will be more guilty of having them and I cannot provide their needs.
When our baby came out last January, I conditioned myself that I need to work hard, together with my husband, and adjust to the situation that we already have 2 kids to take care of.
And we surpassed them... Little by little my fears are disappearing. I still worry but I just pray hard that we will be blessed with enough resources to support them.
Now I am so happy and proud that I have two cute little boys. Sometimes, it still comes to my mind what will my baby look like if I am having a girl... But I just simply let it go and accept my decision to only have 2 kids in my life.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@ShyBear88 (59271)
• Sterling, Virginia
14 Sep 12
I really wouldn't do that ever. I love both of my children even though both were not planned at all they where both very much welcomed and I would cut of the chance to have another child at all. My husband knows this. I had my my second child just recently and they are only 18.5 months apart. NO we are not emotional or physically ready or even financially ready but when you have kids you will never be fully ready for them even when you plan them out. We will never have enough money to take care of your children but me and my husband we make it work. We where poor when I found out with my first that we where having her and we were still poor when we had her. It took 6 months after she was born for us to have enough to support all three of us and there was many times my husband wouldn't eat and would work all day and night for us. We are even poor now with just having two kids and my husband missing a month of work because I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and then a week later had my little guy.
I would change it for the world even though we are pretty much dirt poor right now and have nothing but our apartment for the next 4 weeks till our lease is up and then we are moving to live closer to our family and we will have no money then as well.
@ShyBear88 (59271)
• Sterling, Virginia
17 Sep 12
People do get government assistance here but you have to qualify to get any assistance on anything. Everyone get's taxed here as long as you work a percent of your earnings are taken out and they base that off of how many depends you have. Maternity leave in the US is only 6 to 8 weeks. See here if you have maternity leave that means you have a job and you don't always get paid time off. The government here won't pay for you take time off of your work that is your works job depending on what there benifities are.
It's difficult no matter where you live in the world to have kids and raise them.
I don't care if we are poor or not that has never been a factor for me wanting to have a child or planning them out for that matter. We don't get any money for the government for my two kids. we do get a card to get food for our two children and myself but you can only get certain foods with it and it's not like welfare in which that is when the parent does get paid for having a child and to take care of them. We get no money just the Stander WIC. I do have government insurances for both of my children.
@aejey322 (1004)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
do you get any subsidies from the government? that is what is difficult here in the Philippines. we do not get any. government takes 32% of our salaries as tax but we never get anything good that compensates the amount that we are giving.
I know of a friend who gave birth to her child in Canada. She has a very long maternity leave (a year, if I am not mistaken) and she gets some allowances for her and for her child from the government. I really wish I could get that benefit also.
Here in the Philippines is a different situation. that is why it's difficult to wish for more children. :(
and now I am feeling guilty again... :(
@caopaopao (12395)
• China
13 Sep 12
Hi, friend
It's wonderful that you have two kids, it means your kids won't feel lonely as they can keep company with each other. Here in my country, only one child is allowed to give birth to by a couple. So now I have a daughter, and I won't be allowed to have another baby, or I will lose my job. But if I really have a chance to have another baby, I won't have it as I feel it will be difficult for us to bring up two children well. I want to give my daughter good education and good life, so I just choose to have one child. But my daughter is really lonely, so we often take her to parks or the other public places so that she can play with the other children.
I don't have a ligation , but I won't have another baby, either.
@lizrelox (144)
• Philippines
14 Sep 12
I only have a 3 year old son and I want to have another child as I want my son to experience the blessing of having a sister or a brother sod it doesn't matter to me if it's another boy or girl. However my husband doesn't want me to get pregnant again as I really had difficulties during my 1st pregnancy. I usually collapses, having asthma attacks and can't eat that much. But since I have a home based job I think it will be easier now this time for me. Ligation is a choice of the husband and wife good thing for it to be discussed first as it's also part of family planning. I am Hoping for another blessing from the Lord boy or girl or might be twins.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
i had my second baby after almost two years. we didn't plan to have more than two kids so i asked the doctor to have me ligated to go with the CS method but she discouraged me. the reason was because i was only 27 yrs old then and she said i am too young to decide to be ligated. she told me a story about a mother who lost a son and cannot have another pregnancy because she was ligated.
we were successful following the rhythm method. i know it's not for everybody but it is the method that worked for us. 
@aejey322 (1004)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
One reason that I haven't mentioned is that I also got worried of my age. I'm already 35. But my OB actually said my age is still not old enough to have another one. And she keeps on teasing me if I am not wishing for a girl anymore.
I honestly thought my 2nd baby was a girl because I had a different symptoms when I got pregnant with my eldest.
I do wish for a baby girl. But it seems I have no choice...
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
My mother after having us , all 5 girls in the family decided with the agreement of my father to be ligated too.
They feel that they have tried enough to have a boy, so they decided for the ligation.
I think father was disappointed that no one carried on with his family name, but he is happy to have us.
@venessapaula (168)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
I think it is a choice. I also had 3 CS. The doctors usually won't agree to a ligation if you only have two kids. I had it when I gave birth to my third (I have two girls and a boy). I have seen poor families with so many kids. These kids just end up practically begging or not finishing school. I don't want my kids to go through that. Proper planning will surely ensure your children's future.
I think the Catholic church prohibits this though. My pediatrician (she is old, in her 80's) who is a devout Catholic made a comment about ligation that hurt me, but I don't take it against her. It was my choice and besides, I didn't stop a life from developing by having ligation.
@aejey322 (1004)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
There are Catholic hospitals here that do not perform ligation. My officemate who was on ligation also (due to her kidney illness - she's at risk to have another baby again). transferred to another hospital because her preferred hospital is against ligation.
