Insecure feeling in a relationship...
By ryanong
@ryanong (9664)
Vietnam
September 13, 2012 11:47pm CST
I have a friend she is in love with a man who has 4 kids with 3 women but he hasn't got married yet (in fact, he is single guy). That guy says love my friend a lot and he wants to have a baby and settle down with my friend...
Before being in love with this guy, she knows that he has 3 kids with 2 women. Recently she knows one more story from the guy, and he has 1 more kid with a woman...With 3 women, he used to live together with a woman who has 2 kids only. That guy thought that he told my friend whole his stories but the last story my friend just heard it recently.
My friend loves that guy so much and she wants to settle down with that guy too but she feels insecure with this relationship based on his stories. She wants to be in love and get married, have babies, not become a single mom as his ex-. She doesn't know what to do...
4 people like this
14 responses
@watchamacallitz (1171)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
If I were in her situation, I'd leave first thing the next morning. Not because he has kids from his past relationships but also because he has been hiding stories and stuff from her. There are a lot of fishes in the sea, just keep her doors open. She deserves more than that guy.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
14 Sep 12
As others have said, your friend needs to avoid this guy. Thè only thing that he is going to do is bring her trouble... and maybe a baby and a disease or three. That guy is sleazy, and, if your friend respects herself in the least, she will continue her search for Mr. Right elsewhere.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8691)
• Netherlands
14 Sep 12
Big chance your friend will end up exactly the same way. He already dumped 3 pregnant women and let them take care of his children.
So if she wants children she can pick him since he is furtile but she should count on the fact he will not find her interesting anymore as soon as she is pregnant or the child is born. Even if she marries him before big chance he will look for other women to make pregnant. Can she live with that?
Is she able to take care of a child alone?
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9664)
• Vietnam
14 Sep 12
NO, she doesn't want to be a single mom..that's why she is really considering about it now. based on his stories, so she is very worried whether that guy is faithful in marriage life or not, have happy ending with her or not even though he said he loves her a lot now, wanna settle down with her now...
You are right, it is very insecure for her even though if they do married later...
1 person likes this
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
14 Sep 12
Hi friend, this kind of persons are not trust worthy, as you mentioned he already have 4 kids with 3 women, i think he is interested in short term relationship and not interested in settle down with a single women, as you mentioned your friend is not interested in this kind of things and wish to settle down in life with marriage. I think this guy never marry your friend due to his life style, if your friend is worried about insecure relationship, she must keep distance from him. If she continues her relationship with him, sooner or later she will become a single mum for sure. He will find another women soon, after giving birth with your friend.
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6421)
• India
14 Sep 12
Oh my god, is she crazy??? after knowing his past and still she fell for this guy. My Goodness and it is sure that this man is seeing the other 3 women still because his kids are with them. I am sure there is a plan going in his mind to make a team of some sports. he is smart to get girls and talks as if he loves them but the fact is he is a player and there is 99% of him making a baby with her and leaving her. this man needs to learn some lesson. Why do girls entertain such man in first place??????????????????????? I really don't know what to say more. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead. 
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9664)
• Vietnam
15 Sep 12
Erm..currently that guy just sends money to mothers to care kids sometime he meets kids also. What i know is he has no relationship with all 3 women, just care kids only.
I don't know how serious he is, but he told to my friend that he wants to get married, settle down with my friend....but based on his stories, my friend is so confused about it...
@jelynbaxa (52)
• Philippines
14 Sep 12
If you wanna settle down you need to know the man better you need to know his attitude you need to know if "is this really the guy i will fall in love over and over again?" coz settle down needs a lot of PATIENCE not divorce here divorce there it is confusing but in reality many just go with the flow it isn't a game that if you dont like your partner it is enough no!!BIG NO NO !!!you need to understand your feelings first then if it is your true love why not???
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9664)
• Vietnam
15 Sep 12
currently she loves that guy so much and that guys said the same. She wants to settle down with him and that guy wants too. But based on his stories, she feels insecure with him, she scares that she may be in the same situation as his 3 women: single mom. it is what she doesn't want...
@varunkrishna007 (1909)
• India
14 Sep 12
i think its time for her to say bye bye to him. He seems to be in some sort of running spree, finding girls , impregnating them and moving on. I am sorry to have been so harsh with words, but it is so ridiculous. A person with a pinch of morality wouldnt dare for anything like this. I really wonder what his mental makeup. I would say she should call off this relationship because after sometime, he is going to ditch her too.
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9664)
• Vietnam
14 Sep 12
What i know is he cares his kids by sending money to mothers and meet them sometime also...then i don't know he is really bad or not...
What my friend doesn't expect is she will be a single mom, she wants to get married and have babies and she doesn't know that guy really wants to settle down with her as what he said or not...
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Sep 12
ranong hes not going to change and she must see thats so tell herto le ave him and fi nd a man to love who is single and wants to marr y and loves her and wants their own child. this man is changeable as the wind. not a good mate for a nice young woman.
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
14 Sep 12
It's wake-up call for your friend to face reality. This guy definitely is irresponsible, and the fact that he has three kids with different women would explain the kind of life she would have, just imagine the situation when she has a child of her own from that guy.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
14 Sep 12
If your friend knows what she wants then she better re-think and have second thoughts about being in a relationship with the guy. Isn't she bothered that out of all the women he's been with, with kids and all, why didn't he seriously even tried to get married to one of them? I'm not saying he should for the obvious wrong reasons, but isn't he supposed to have learned from his mistakes and not do it again? Seems like he never learned. And if I were your friend, I'm not going to stay long enough to find out for sure.
1 person likes this
@BethelSophia (538)
• Philippines
14 Sep 12
The answer of the problem seems simple yet hard for your friend because he loves the guy. Simple in the sense that the story is too explicit, if your friend feels insecure about her situation to the guy then she must for I think that guy can't be fully trusted yet I don't have the right to prejudge him based on his past perhaps that guy is changing. I think your friend needs time to be alone and think about the things she really wants her life; if she wants to have a complete family then she should not based only her decision of what she's feeling right now. She must search it thoroughly and examine it. Then she'll decide later.
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9664)
• Vietnam
14 Sep 12
yes, women want to ensure everything when they are in a relationship..me too, that's why i understand my friend's wondering.
That guy does care his kids by sending money to mothers so that i can't say he is really bad, but i don't ensure he will spend entire his life with any woman, that is the thing i worry for my friend.
Yeah, you are right, the problem in here is she loves that guy too, so that better she should take more time before making a decision.
1 person likes this
@litvillegas (1274)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
Hello ryanong
I know you are worried about your friend. It's a very complicated relationship. I think you have to advice your friend to make a wise decision. Pray for her to enlightened her mind. I think she needs to move on to have a good future.
@fatlex06 (895)
• Philippines
14 Sep 12
Oh my!!!!!!!!!!!! What???? Why is your friend so inlove with this guy? She deserves more. She deserves to be happier in her life. This is not just the only way for her to be happy. But if she's really inlove with him, we can't really do anything about that. It's her decision that needs to be done. But I hope she'll make up her mind. She has a lot of things to prioritize. I hope she won't be the 4th woman of that man. Darn. Maybe at first they'll be happy but we might not know how it will end. WOah. I really hope that she'll change her mind. Please. And oh my, she might get sick. Wah. And is she sure that she's the only one? The guy has a problem. MY!!! Sorry if I'm this affected. .
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9664)
• Vietnam
14 Sep 12
No only you are surprised like that, me too...I was shocked to hear it.
i want my friend is happy but i don't ensure he will bring a happiness life to my friend also..since he never has a commitment with any woman even though they have kids with him.
1 person likes this
