(RANT) Why Can't My Mom Differentiate between Regular Money & Extra Money?
@mythociate (21437)
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
September 19, 2012 5:48pm CST
I can't control my money-spending enough (can't keep from spending more than the "little sum" I get each month), so I have to remain "dependent" and rely on my mom to transfer a certain amount from my account that SHE controls into my account that I control each week---my "allowance."
I recently got a check from Google, and had to deposit it on hold in my little account for about a week. Naturally, my mom saw that and thought I was covered for a week or two. When I called her and reminded her I needed the transfer, she replied, "But what about all that money I saw in your account?"
'That's extra money,' I replied (a sentiment I had to repeat the coupla other times I had to remind her).
I'm guessing she still hasn't transferred the regular money I need (for food & medicine), because she thinks the extra money will work just fine there ... it might, but 
NOT AS "EXTRA" MONEY---money to spend on "extra" stuff.
Maybe 'extra' money should be "different"---a kind of money that ONLY works on 'extra' things! What do you think?
NOT AS "EXTRA" MONEY---money to spend on "extra" stuff.
Maybe 'extra' money should be "different"---a kind of money that ONLY works on 'extra' things! What do you think?3 people like this
12 responses
@venkataraman_vc (5293)
• Chennai, India
20 Sep 12
I don't know the conditions in your area, but as Marguicha said above, it's the sons' duty to assist their parents after 25. That's how we live here in India. Up to the stage we study, they provide everything. Once we come out of college, we should further qualify to get a job and start earning for them too. (Most of the parents live so contended until their son/daughter come out of school.)
May be your mother is saving it for you to give it later at a crucial time.
I cannot advice, but my suggestion is to find a source that will earn you good money, whether it be a job or business. Then, the money that your mother gives will be extra.
1 person likes this
@venkataraman_vc (5293)
• Chennai, India
21 Sep 12
Forgot to mention in my reply, that mother taking over control of son's account also sounded odd to me.
It's about the social set up too, which I'm completely from a different country. It won't be fair to comment on yours.
@venkataraman_vc (5293)
• Chennai, India
22 Sep 12
Ow...I just read in the other comment that you had sustained a brain-injury. Sorry to hear that. 
What I've replied here looks totally irrelevant now and I take it back all.
What I've replied here looks totally irrelevant now and I take it back all.@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
20 Sep 12
No, the money I'm talking about IS "my" money; I just way-overspend it if I get control of all of it at the same time.
And you're right about the conditions---you don't know them. I'm glad that's how it works for normal people over there. I'm not one of them.
@marguicha (215405)
• Chile
20 Sep 12
I understand that "allowance" and "money one earns" is not the same. I was very moved by your story, but then I checked at your profile. And I asked myself: how can a 31 year old male accept that his mother pay for his needs? How come that he is still dependent on a woman that surely is at least 55 or more years old? Why doesn´t he work, even in a badly paid job? This is my rant. Dear mylotter: I lost my husband when I was 55 years old. My two daughters handed over to me all that was theirs of what my husband left. Both had university studies and were taking care of their family as both were divorced. They have their own house that they are paying with their work. All this happens in what some people call an "underdevelopped country". What reason do you have for not working, even as an errand boy?
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Sep 12
marquicha if I am write from reading earlier discussions that moyosite wrote about himself he is either mentally or emotiooally
handicapped not sure what the terms. were I am so wondering
why mommy has to handle the money for him as he sounds capable of doing it himself.
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
20 Sep 12
It has something to do with the fact that 'the world doesn't owe me as much as I "know" it does' & the fact that 'the world is not going to give me what it doesn't think it owes me, thereby making "taking what the world owes me" equivalent to "robbery, credit-fraud, terrorism" and other such things as I'd never do.'
It would cost the world too much for me to be independent. But "I did not say this; I was n-o-t h--e--r--e---- ..." (as the Hyperspace Navigator said to Emperor Shaddam IV in the Frank Herbert book-become-a Dino de Laurentiis movie DUNE)
@peavey (16936)
• United States
19 Sep 12
How about if you make a list of "extra" things that you need? (Like upcoming gifts for her, personal items, shoes...)
Next time you get a check, cash it instead of depositing it. That way she won't see "extra" money. I don't mean that you should try to deceive her, but that you have the right to have money that you don't have to account for.
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
20 Sep 12
I can't 'list' the extra things I need (if I needed them, they wouldn't be 'extra.') That's one of the things about 'extra' money; it's free to be spent on 'whatever.'
And I tried to cash it; but I had forgotten to bring the 'receipt' (the note attached to the check), so they had to 'hold' the check there until it cleared ... and then a few days after, or something.
I don't understand why the amount had to SHOW UP in my account if I couldn't HAVE the money (I gave them the check on a Monday, it showed-up in my account on that Wednesday, but I couldn't withdraw it until the NEXT Wednesday )
)1 person likes this
@peavey (16936)
• United States
20 Sep 12
Oh, I mean a sort of imaginary list. Like what you might want it for, not what you absolutely need it for. Give her a long list!
I see now, I think. You mean that it was in your account as "pending" or something like that? That could be irritating. I don't know why they do that, either, but my bank does, even on electronic transfers. It seems to me that either they have it or they don't.
I'm sorry it created a problem for you.
1 person likes this
@TeamCholent (2832)
• United States
20 Sep 12
Perhaps she is old school and still believes that just enough is plenty? I wouldn't stress it too much unless she is not going to share that money with you and will instead spend it on herself. What do you use your extra cash for?
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
20 Sep 12
Well, the first thing I think of is 'eating at restaurants,' something I also use my extra money for when I save enough from the 'overflow' of my regular money.
That, and I guess having the 'extra things' more-often (nights at the neighborhood bar, extra donations for the church, etc.)
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
20 Sep 12
Not at any "school" anywhere. My brain-injury makes me unemployable, so I'm stuck on a minimum income.
1 person likes this
@deazil (4723)
• United States
20 Sep 12
Everybody needs their "extra" stuff. And extra money is great to have. Maybe you should tell your mom "No, that's money I earned for other things. The money you control is for necessities. Like FOOD & MEDICINE and I need it. Now." Not suggesting you be rude to your mom, but sometimes speaking like that works. Shock value.
And it would be better if extra money was different and only worked on extra stuff. Then the people who don't understand the concept might finally get it. Of course, then I would never know what extra money looked like because I never have any anymore. Maybe you should do something else with your extra money that you get, if that's possible. Not suggesting you be deceitful, but just HIDE it someplace.
Maybe you should do something else with your extra money that you get, if that's possible. Not suggesting you be deceitful, but just HIDE it someplace.1 person likes this
@urbandekay (18278)
•
20 Sep 12
Your profile says you are over 30, do you not think you are a little old to be tied to your mother's apron strings?
all the best urban
@urbandekay (18278)
•
22 Sep 12
If I had known you had brain damage then I would not have said so, sorry if my words offended you
all the best, urban
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
20 Sep 12
Maybe if the extra money is getting confused with "Regular" money,you need to set up an account just for the "Extra" income so that She can keep them straight..?
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
25 Sep 12
The 'extra' doesn't come in often enough to justify that. When it starts coming in like that, there's something to think about.
@allknowing (130066)
• India
22 Sep 12
I just want to know why you need your mother to give you an allowance. What is your status at the moment. Are you not working? If yes, then it is high time you have a control of your own money.
@allknowing (130066)
• India
24 Sep 12
I just read through some responses. I did not know you had that brain injury. My above response therefore does not fit in here.
Hide that extra money from her!
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
24 Sep 12
I tried to do that, but the bank had to 'hold' it for a week to make sure it cleared. I wish it hadn't shown up in my account, because now my mother's going to expect me to do something that makes 'more of that money' when in fact 'that money' was made by me "doing almost nothing."
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
19 Sep 12
Well, I think my mother would have the same difficulty in understanding a concept like this.
Our parents often do not live in the world of computing, and often do not know what it means to earn extra money with the help of internet.
The money is still all the same, whether they come from a allowance (even I take the allowance, because I am also disabled), and them come from various revenue opportunities that the internet offers.
In my opinion, our money, and where them come from, and how to spend it, we need to know us better, since to ourselves, as individuals, them are addressed.
@smurfysmurf (651)
• Philippines
20 Sep 12
Hi there Mythiciate,
Good thing you are earning extra. And of course, it's definitely a big help.
Anyways, as to your mom....I think she just want to save up for the expenses that's why she wants you to use your own money. Well, I can relate since my mom was like that before.
I seem to be the kind who saves a lot with the extra daily expenses...and I tend to accumulate it as soon as it will be big enough. Of course, my mom would sneak in my room and she would see that money that I have and would tell me that she won't be giving me any allowance before since I already have money.
Well, hopefully your mom would really know how to differentiate soon...
1 person likes this
@bdfreelancer (518)
•
20 Sep 12
It is because if someone does not get to know how we re making extra money online. I keep my extra money in a different account and I have decided to build it up.
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
20 Sep 12
That's good. I can't, because my regular income isn't large enough for me to hold onto such an account. But I'll ask the bank-people if there's anything like that I can do.
