would you stay because of the kids

By C
@ShyBear88 (59306)
Sterling, Virginia
September 23, 2012 2:03pm CST
Would you stay in an unhappy relationship weather you where married or not because of your kids? Me I would never stay in and unhappy relationship just because I have kids with that person. I love my husband to death but if I was unhappy and we couldn't make things better to where we where both happy to be together I would stay just because of our children at all. I believe if both parents are happy then the children will be happy as well.
5 people like this
14 responses
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
I would never stay in a bad relationship. Staying will just put you and your kid's well being in compromise. They will see you constantly fight and dis-respect each other and that is not healthy for the kids. I'd better get my act together and find what's best for my kids rather than staying.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
23 Sep 12
Not all unhappy relationships are because of fighting or anything you two can just not be in love and no happy with each other.
• United States
24 Sep 12
I wouldn't stay either. Kids can sense tension , right? And I heard they know when things are wrong and they blame themselves. So it is far healthier to leave than to stay.
• United States
25 Sep 12
That's what I mean.Somewhere I heard kids see mom and dad are not happy and they think if they can be the best little boy/girl they will make them happy. And when that doesn't happen, they blame themselves.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
25 Sep 12
Yes and no depending on the child they can feel that way and other children they always no and always feel it has nothing to do with them.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
24 Sep 12
Kids can sense pretty much anything. Children only blame themselves when they feel things are there fault not when they feel or know something wrong or not right.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (216634)
• Chile
25 Sep 12
I think that children suffer much more watching their parents fight everyday than having them get a divorce (or separate). While we all know what is best for everyone, it doesn´t always happen that way. And children , even when they are very small, understand the negative current in the house.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
26 Sep 12
You didn't answer the question of would you stay because of your kids? I'm going to assume no you wouldn't stay because of your child/children. Also being unhappy with there partner doesn't mean they are fighting all of the time. It could be that they are just unhappy in there relationship or they no longer love each other. In any of those cause it's always best to go find what will make you happy for the both sides so that the kids will be happy as well.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
I will never stay in an unhappy relationship because of my kids. I don't want my kids to raise my kids in an unhappy environment- that will give them unhappy childhood as well. I would rather be a single mother but happy with my kids than staying in a relationship that doesn't work at all.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
25 Sep 12
You mean you don't want your kids to raise there kids in and unhappy environment?
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
24 Sep 12
I think it is unfair to evrryone to stay in a relationship with someone because of the children,you are doing an injustice to yourself, your oaretner and especislly the children. if a relationship is fslling apart, staying in it for the sake of childrenn will not help anyone. /children can see what is going on and may blame themselves for what you can not keep together. you may feel that staying for the children is making things betterm but in the long run think of what the children will go through as much as yourself and your partner.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
25 Sep 12
You wouldn't assume that because two people are unhappy with each other that there are problems or issues. They could just not be in love with each other any more. But yes it's always best for everyone children and parents to just to move on if they are not happy in a relationship together.
@iBizkut (80)
• United States
24 Sep 12
No I would not because then that teaches the children that they should be in an unhappy relationship and will teach them bad relationship skills. Plus being in that environment they may learn to not love at all. I happy have children with my husband we both have had our ups and downs but if it came down to it and we just didn't care for one another anymore I would not feel obligated to stay and make my children suffer through our bitterness. But that's if (:
@TheIzers (680)
24 Sep 12
I think that's the scary part if then our children learn not to love. Marriage is suppose to gather two people who are in love for they stay and caring each other but if they unable to do so anymore and no more happiness in the house I don't think they should stay together. Which one we prefer, parent let their children see them unhappy everyday in their life or they get divorce, move on with their live, be happy for each other happiness, make good relationship after divorce and communicate with children during the transition phase and work together to help them get through with it. It might be not easy for the children in the beginning but if they see their parents still work together when it comes to them I think the kids will find their happiness with their parents again soon.
• United States
24 Sep 12
Yeah I mean my parents got divorced when I was younger and I had relationship issues after that but I learned to love myself. Now I have two beautiful children and a man I love with all my heart. Yeah because when someone no longer cares for the spouse and are completely unhappy they need to take into consideration the effects it will have on the children long term.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
25 Sep 12
I agree with you iBizkut that is why I wouldn't stay either. I want my kids to know yes there are up and downs to every relationship and it does take work but if your unhappy it's better to move one not only for yourself but for my kids.
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
23 Sep 12
I do have a child from previous relationship & I didn't stay... Now I have a very loving & understanding girlfriend... I'd never stay in a relationship if I wasn't happy, kids or not...
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
23 Sep 12
That's good you didn't stay just because of your child. I would do the same if I was unhappy with my husband.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
I have been through some tough situation with my marriage and I once thought of leaving my husband for good. But I could not imagine my children being in a broken family. I stayed, and prayed that somehow my relationship with mu husband would be better so that I could keep the family intact. I owe my kids a whole and happy family. And even if it means I have to sacrifice my own happiness, I will, for the sake of my kids.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
24 Sep 12
I would never do that at all. I love my kids but I would never stay with a men not even my own husband if I didn't love him and if I was happy with at all. Yeah we've been through tough times we've been through a lot but we have always loved each other but my husband knows just as much as I do that we wouldn't be together. He's been in a broke family both of his parents got remarried he never wants to get a divorce but we both no our happiness is our children's happiness and I would never give up my happiness for my kids that would be a bad example of how a relationship should be that would be me a slave to a men that I can not love nor be happy with.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
23 Sep 12
no.if we didn;t solve our problems than it's uselles to stay in a relationship in which you're not happy. and I:m saying that because believe it or not children feel this kind of things. and what they see in family infulences their development as adults. and i don't know if it would be good for them to see their parents fighting all day long. family violence would also make things worse
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
24 Sep 12
Well not all unhappy couples fight with each other all of the time. Even happy couples fight. But yes child can see it, hear it and feel it when there parents are unhappy.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
23 Sep 12
A long time ago I tried, I tried for 8 years. Perhaps I would have stayed into this abusive marriage if I had no kids. Actually my daughter was the reason why I left. She was nearly broke by a guy who was not worth the word "father". It's still the best decision I made in my life. Still a big relief (it's 22 years ago). None of my kids miss him or think they missed anything (they still say that plus they had a good and safe childhood after all). Actually my eldest saved my life out of this miserable marriage. I changed a lot since that time. I enjoy being alone, never feel lonesome anymore or afraid.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
24 Sep 12
I'm glad you got out of that relationship. I'm happy that you are all happy that he is not longer part of your lives.
@else22 (4317)
• India
24 Sep 12
No,I won't.The sooner unhappy,unhealthy and hostile relationships break,the better.Such relationships have extremely adverse effect not only on the partners' life,but also on the life of kids whose life gets spoiled for no fault of them.A healthy upbringing of child is possible only when the relations between husband and wife are sweet and mature.I would like to put an end to an unhealthy and unhappy relationship asap.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
24 Sep 12
Not all couples that have kids that are together are married. Yes weather married or not if there is a good relationship between mother and father the child will be happy and see a good a relationship between there parents. I know if something went wrong in my relationship me and my husband have talked about this lot that we know it's better for kids to be part if we couldn't be happy with each other and to always go good to each other for our kids no matter what. I told him I would rather no we can't make it work together but to make it work apart for them. Them having a good childhood and good home that is all that matters outside of a happy relationship together.
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
for me I would rather not to stay in an unhappy relationship regardless of having a child involve in it. I don't want spending my remaining life understanding big issues about what was going on in our family. I am married once, I work for our family because my husband has no regular work. If ever he'll get work he doesn't finished his contract in the company which causes him to stay home and babysit our daughter. I worked hard for us to have meals on the table. Even sunday's If our company needs employee to report I still go for work so that I have an extra income. After 4 years of staying home I suggested him to go abroad maybe he has luck working abroad. but then instead of helping me financially after a year of sending support he suddenly stop, he is indebted to someone that he must pay first after he sends us again money. But till now he does not even a single cent send us. so now we totally separated. I just explain everything to my daughter that we are not really for each other that her father is still irresponsible and don't even care if his daughter needs support or what. my daughter is now on her grade 2. And I thank my daughter cause he do understand all of what happened to our family.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
24 Sep 12
I wouldn't stay if I was unhappy with our with out my two little ones. My husband works all of the time but he is happy and so am I.
@lizrelox (144)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
I will not stay in a relationship just because of my kids. Of course before we fall on this situation I will really make every effort for our relationship to grow stronger. If both of you knows the principle of God's word I think there's a very low percentage that this will happen to you as a couple. Matthew 19:6 Consequently they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate. Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
24 Sep 12
But not everything in a relationship is worth trying to fix. Not everyone fallows the word of god. I know I don't. Some things in a relationship are worth working on and trying to fix and some times in a relationship there isn't anything wrong at all you just stop loving each other there isn't anything there at all nothing to fix no problems just no love and that still isn't far to children.
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
I will stay not just for the kids, but because i love those kids i will really stay because they become a part of my life... that's right if both of the parents will stay happy for there children, so that their children might not think of being alone in their life.. right?.. good day, and God Bless you!
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
24 Sep 12
So you would stay with someone that your not happy being with because you think it'll make the kids happy. That wouldn't make the kids happy. If there parents are happy together then the kids will be happy or if the parents are happy a part then the kids will because they will see that even though mommy and daddy aren't together they are still together in the scene that they love us enough to do what is right with out giving up on there own happiness. I wouldn't stay at all. I love my kids enough to know if I'm not happy with my husband then they are going to feel it and see it as well and it's better for us to not be together any more. I don't want to show my kids you have to stay with someone that you don't love and your not happy with just because you have kids that is showing them a bad explain of what a good relationship is.