Trying To Avoid A Pregnant Friend

@MoonGypsy (4611)
United States
September 27, 2012 10:07pm CST
i know this sounds strange, but i am strange. not as strange, however, as this couple me and my husband got involved with. they call us everyday wanting to come over to our house. when they come over, they don't leave until we literally have to kick them out. they always want to come over and stay the night (or shall i say "nights"). now, the girl is pregnant, due any day now. why would they want to come over and camp out over at hour house. we don't want to be that involved in their pregnancy. we don't want her going to labor at hours house. heck no! they both push the friendship thing too far. they want to be more close to us than we ant to be with them and they won't take the hint. they keep forcing the issue on us. they already made plans for us on halloween with their new baby. we don't want to do halloween with them. we want to be able to trick or treat as long as we can. we don't want to have to check how we are moving cause there is a little infant with us. we never told them we would be best friends with them, hang out with them all the time, or anything else. they want us to be aunts and uncle to the baby, cause they are both only children. i understand they both have the only child syndrome and we are the "fortunate" ones they latched on to. oh why, us!?! lol. they are both just too much. i promise you. lol. they are nice people, but we are not in high school anymore. they are about to be parents. they can't start their week wondering how they can take up our time anymore (or anyone else if that be the case). they need to be at their own house and be parents. we don't want to be there when she has her baby. that is a private moment between her an her man. she is not my sister. i am not even close to her, nor do i want to be. i will go see her in the hospital, but i don't want to be there when she goes into or has labor. i don't want to be a support for her. that's just being honest.
3 people like this
17 responses
@STOUTjodee (3510)
• United States
28 Sep 12
Sounds like that couple needs to get a life!! Sorry, I don't mean to be rude but it sounds like their taking advantage of you and your husbands kindness. They do have their own home, don't they? Apparently they don't have many friends? Suggest to them to take parenting classes and maybe they can meet new friends.
@MoonGypsy (4611)
• United States
28 Sep 12
that is a very good idea. i will suggest that to them. that way they can meet other parents with kids the same age level. thanks for the idea.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Sep 12
Just had a brain fart!!! It seems to me like they need to have friends and what better way to make friends that would have similar interests. Your welcome!
1 person likes this
@MoonGypsy (4611)
• United States
29 Sep 12
lol. well, here's an update. they had the baby. a social worker suggested that they do just what you recommended. they declined the resource. they are still in the mode where they would rather latch on to us. sigh. lol.
@djbtol (5498)
• United States
28 Sep 12
Seems like this is a lonely / needy couple. Unfortunately that can make them a drain on others. One thing they need as a couple is to find more satisfaction between the two of them, especially now that a baby is on the way. Soon it will be much harder for the two of them to get quality time. Unfortunately, one sometimes has to speak fairly bluntly to get through to people. I hope you can find a nice way to say it.
2 people like this
@MoonGypsy (4611)
• United States
29 Sep 12
that's the thing. i resent them putting me in a position where i have to find a way to tell them anything. what ever happen to people just having manners to prevent awkward situations like this. i would never want to have someone tell me i am being to much.
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
Hi Moongypsy! I guess this couple feel at home in your house. I wonder how old they are.Maybe you have been too friendly with them and they think that it is alright with you if they hang around at your place anytime. How long have known these people?
1 person likes this
@MoonGypsy (4611)
• United States
29 Sep 12
we have known them for two years now. we have been at our place for a year. before we even got in the place they ask if they could live with us. they never gave us the chance to be to friendly with them, they did it all first. as far as their age. they are both 23 going on 17. we are in our late twenties.
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
Wow, when i was reading the first part of your story i was like "aw, what's wrong with?" then after awhile i came to realize that that kind of scenario would be totally annoying! Especially that you personally don't like them that much. Have you tried letting them down when ever they invite you to something? Maybe doing so like 5 to 10 times they would probably get the idea. It's really kind of you to still tag along with them even if it irritates you that much. I don't know what i would do if that kind of situation happens to me, i might ask them or even beg them to give me and my husband privacy! Lol!
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (29129)
• United Kingdom
28 Sep 12
It sounds like you are a very kind person and the pregnant friend is trying to take advantage of you. She and her man shouldn't be spending loads of time at your home especially overnight. They need to be at their own place. Maybe she could go to parenting classes or pregnancy meetings to try to make more friends. She should plan for her baby to be born in a hospital. You could visit her after she has her baby and give her baby a small gift perhaps.
1 person likes this
@annavi23 (6298)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
How do they exactly relate to you then? why do they do that? such st*pid people keep on bothering other people's lives. And to think they are to be parents. isn't it time for them to take their time alone with each other and spend the most of their times not minding and disturbing other people? really irritating i can say. You must tell them straight to the point that you don't want them bothering you. if possible, it can also be good that you'll avoid seeing each other, tell them that.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
Hello! I guess this couple is taking advantage unto both of you. They think that all the things they are doing is okay with the two of you without noticing that they are pissing you guys! advice? Ignore them! haha.. not being rude but they have their own life and so are you.. They should start living like a real couple without affecting others..
1 person likes this
@BigMoney25 (1263)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
Well I think its time to explain that you are not already being happy about how they camp at your house everyday. Tell them but not too rudely, just politely. Do this in order for you guys to be able to have the privacy and time that you want to have. Also it is time to say whatever it is that you feel about what they do for them to understand your rules and also for everything to be clear and set.
1 person likes this
• India
28 Sep 12
It is so difficult to deal with people who throw themselves upon you. How can people be so dumb to not understand if someone likes their company or not? You are free to decide whether you want to accompany them during their child's birth or not. Whenever they invite themselves at your place you can politely refuse them saying you have your own plans or that you need some privacy.
@Raine38 (9201)
• United States
28 Sep 12
Wow, that is way too creepy, even for me lol! If I were you, I wouldn't even visit at the hospital so as not to give them any false hopes nor to give them the wrong idea about the friendship. I will probably just send some flowers and a gift and thats it. They have to know that I have a life and some of it doesn't have to involve them at all, and they should the same for me. I will make them feel that my no is a firm no and it is not negotiable. Oh sure we can still be friends but no more dropping by unannounced, no more extended visits. The next time she drops by, I will tell her she needs to go because I am going somewhere else and no, I just ant her to go. I know it's easier said than done, I am not actually the type who can persuade someone to see my way easily. But it's worth a try, especially if you're dealing someone that clingy and needy.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Sep 12
You called them friends so be a friend. Tell thm what you need as their friend. Don't beat by the bush.I know many people who are overbearing like that and make plans but you have to put your foot down. I have had to tell family noI will not join you or don't expect me there for whatever reason as overbearingas they were. Over time they got that I meant what I said. The others who couldn't take it hate me now but they weren't really friends or family to me if they could ever hate me. Just like they can find new friends so can you. You should take a class and get a life so maybe you can actuallytruthfully say you are too busy. And when they lights are out in your house they will understand. If they dont let them go.
@SunGlow (48)
• United States
28 Sep 12
That couple is overstepping your boundaries. It may be difficult to do but you must talk to them, stand up for yourself and set up boundaries. Stop giving hints and tell them the truth about the situation. If you do not want to be friends anymore tell them. Or if you want to get together with them once in a while tell them. They may not be happy about it and you may feel a little bit bad for confronting them but in the long run you will have your life back and the freedom to do what you and your husband want. After you confront them stick to your words. If they still call everyday check the number before answering and if it is them don't answer. if they come over unexpected either don't answer the door or remind them about what you told them and tell them they need to go home you are busy or do not want company right now. Best of luck!
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30997)
• United States
30 Sep 12
Hi Moon, Oh I feel for you! This sort of stuff used to happen to me all the time when I was younger. I'm not sure what it was but I would attract so many of those types of people and I just hated it. I was a single mom and I worked and it was hard enough to find some alone time anyway but impossible when someone was constantly calling or dropping by. Especially if it is someone that you don't really care all that much for. Makes you almost feel like you don't want to answer your door doesn't it? If they were really good friends then you could just tell them that you need a little space and time to spend with your husband but you value the friendship, hope they understand and still come around a time or two a week. I actually did do that with a friend that had taken to dropping every single day and often when the kids were napping which was MY time to get things done. She understood and we are still very good friends. Unfortunatly, the type of people you describe usually get angry and you'll never see them again but your problem will be solved. I would tell them. You are going to like them less and less the longer this goes on and one day, they are going to come over at just the right time and you'll just lose it with them. Then you will feel bad. I have learned to be real selective in whom I give out my phone # and address to.
@riyauro (6427)
• India
29 Sep 12
well some people just force it on you and I too don't like this. I need privacy and not people people just coming and bunking at my home. I know what you feel. I guess this couple is not matured and they need company and they feel good with you guys. But it is time ti change because they going to have kid soon and if it continues this way than the baby will have to suffer. Don't they have any job or anything??? How are they going to support the baby??? Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@savypat (20245)
• United States
28 Sep 12
Believe me or not I can understand both sides of this situation. I wsa married very young and within 3 years had 3 small children, Hubby moved us out into the country and then started working 14 to 18 hours perday. I was terribly lonely, had no neighbors or even a car most of the time. So when I could get into town to visit I was there with three kids for the long run, often all day. As I look back on it now I can see how much this must have agravated my friends. Luckly I soon went to work full time and never wanted to leave home during the short time I had there. No on tells you how to be a friend after high school , when you are in school you are very close, see each other every day and spend many off hours doing things together. After school each has their own life and time requirements. Now the shoe is on the other foot, people come to visit and after about 3 hours I can't wait until they leave. I am talked and lisened out. So I really do understand. Best just to be honest, but try to remain kind as in all relationships. Blessings
@shaggin (44399)
• United States
28 Sep 12
I seriously had to laugh reading this because I can just picture this happening to me. There are people like this who just take things to far and dont know when to call it quits. Its like they are so obsessive about being together they cant give you your own space. Unfortunately you may have to say something a little rude eventually or they will never stop. They are going to just keep dropping in all the time especially when the baby is bored and the mom is stuck with an infant she will want to have girl time to chat and I can just see her bringing her crying baby over constantly. That is nice you will go see her in the hospital when she does have the baby though.
@jazel_juan (15758)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
oh she is really getting too much, maybe it is about time to tell her how you feel.. in a better way i believe.. she will understand in due time.