Death of my Sister
By cynthiann
@cynthiann (18602)
Jamaica
October 4, 2012 8:42am CST
My sister Gill was misdiagnosed earlier this year and underwent spinal surgery for discs but she had cancer. I looked after her before my first unsuccessful surgery and after surgery until my second open heart surgery. She was in and out of hospital and visited pain management specialists etc. It took a visit to Geneva in Switzerland (organised by her third son)to see doctors there before we realised that she had four cancers. I had not seen her since the beginning of August when she was flown out to Geneva.
And now she is dead. I was in contact with her up to when I left a week ago today. I knew that her chances were slim but it was expected that she would live for about a year and I had planned to go back and stay with her after the tourist season had ended as I do have a part time job in tourism.
My daughter heard first and in torrential rain, both she and her husband, my son, her husband drove slowly through the mountains to me so that she could tell me and be with me. It took them four harrowing hours for them to reach.
I know that there have been posts recently about how depressing posts have been but stuff happens and people need to vent. I am carrying a block of ice in my chest and cannot cry. If I cry then it will be tears of blood. My children and grands cried as she was loved so dearly. I cannot cry.
So I will return to the U.K. when I receive news of the funeral arrangements for the best sister a sister could ever have.
So, have you lost anyone close to you recently?
10 people like this
22 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
4 Oct 12
I am so sorry to hear this Cynthi. I really don't know what else to say as words cannot help you right now. I wish I could be there to give you a hug.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Oct 12
hi again it will happen when y
ou least expect it too so be warned and hopefully you will be with friends or coworkers as i was, and I was embarrassed that once I started it was like'a
cloudburst until I was finally exhausted.
ou least expect it too so be warned and hopefully you will be with friends or coworkers as i was, and I was embarrassed that once I started it was like'a
cloudburst until I was finally exhausted.@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
4 Oct 12
I wish that you were here too Kat. The kids are all at work and I feel so alone. It would be better if I could cry but I can't.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
5 Oct 12
My boss is the same way. She also lost her husband, though I'm not sure when, I think it was awhile back. Whenever some of us joke about how bad our husbands are she gets upset with us over it and tells us how blessed we are for what our men do for us.
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
4 Oct 12
my dear Cynthiann, I wish I was closer to you right now to comfort you and help you through. I am so sad for your loss, its such devastating news. You and me have written a bit back and forth via mylot when you were ready to get home and I also didnt think this would happen as fast as it did.
I thought that now as you are home you will take a bit of time to still recover from the bypass to get real well again. Though you had that rehab I think you need more time to get well yourself. as I fret about you now please please make sure to take care of yourself.
Yes I lost my Heart Mom a year ago as you know and I am also not over that at all. Recently I ordered a silver heart with her name engraved on it so I will wear that all the time as a sign of never ending love, appreciation and honoring for her.
2 people like this
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
4 Oct 12
Dearest Cynthie after I posted here I was hanging around quite alarmed very worried about you. I am glad you were able to get back to the UK not only for your bypass surgery but also to see her till she went to Geneva for treatment.
You know I am only an e mail away from you, please let me know whether I can help you in any way........
Lots of hugs to you, wish they werent only virtual ones.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
4 Oct 12
Thank you so much. I think that I will leave early next week - perhaps Tuesday. You are such a good friend
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
4 Oct 12
hi dear Cynthie, will have to be back at work from Wednesday next week on as my sick leave runs out then. But you have my e mail addy and as I am home every night and have internet access I will get back to you same day....... so please dont feel embarrassed when you need to write - type - to be able to cope.....
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
hi cyntiann,
Well can't remember when was the last time I lost someone close to me and I hope I will not though I know we can't avoid it.
Deepest sympathy to your family
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
4 Oct 12
I'm not sure what just happened here but I thought I'd posted here a second ago but it isn't showing. I am very sorry to hear of your loss. You have my condolences. Cancer is such a horrible disease.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
4 Oct 12
Thank you for expressing your sympathy. Cancer is horrible. How I wish a cure could be found.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
6 Oct 12
Thank you Madonna. I once posted on how cancer could be cured but people were not receptive. In Jamaica guinea hen weed and the leaves ab bark from the sour sop tree which is also known as graviola. I will check out the guyabano though as I do not know of it. Whilst in the U.K. we had found a site where we could buy graviola and did order the pills but it was too late. Her cancers were not diagnosed and therefore herbal treatment was too late. I have a soursop tree growing in my garden but it is ibly a few feet tall and not big enough to take its leaves or bark, The dose is 3 leaves and about two inches of bark to be gently boiled in water and drunk as a tea twice a day. I di agree with herbal remedies and these cures are often blocked by the greedy pharmaceutical companies. I plan to tak ebith herbs as a preventative measure for cancer. Perhaps alternating monthly between them both. The barley juice cure is also new to me, Thank you for a very intersting rsponse.
@madonna2012 (62)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
my condolences cynthiann. i dont know if you heard lots of natural medicines like barley juice and also guyabano from amazon river that can help cure cancer. also in thailand they have a cure there if im not mistaken the wife of pilipino actor liezl martinez was cured there and its already stage 3 of cancer, an actress with the name of maritoni fernandez and Singer April boy Regino was also cured by barley juice. i hope for your fast recovery and move forward.
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
4 Oct 12
I'd just like to offer my sincere condolences. I read your post last week when you were packing your bags with heavy heart and one of the reasons was your ill sister. It is sad to hear she is now gone; on the other hand, perhaps God knows what is best.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
4 Oct 12
I am a women of God that my faith has been sorely tested this past year not just with health issues but stuff that my children have gone through too. I know that she is all right and in a good place but the human part of me really hurts right now. But I cannot cry although I am glad that she did not suffer for a long time
2 people like this
@deazil (4723)
• United States
4 Oct 12
Dear cynthiann, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I were there with you to give you support and hugs, but I know your children are there for you. I have not lost anyone recently but my mother passed away seven years ago. I still cry for her. I miss her so much. I have only one sister who is 10 years older than me and I fear the day she may be gone. She doesn't live close and I haven't seen her in a year. I pray you have a safe trip back to the UK and that all goes well. Again, I am so sorry for such a painful loss. My prayers are with you, my friend, cynthiann. Your sister will always live on in your memory and your heart.
Your sister will always live on in your memory and your heart.2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
4 Oct 12
This is another problem as my eledest sister is ten years older than me and she is not coping at all. she is in bad health too as her last heart surgery was unsuccessful. Now she is alone with only my son who lives reasonably near to her in the U.K. but he has a demanding job. My eldest sister does not have children and is divorced. She also drinks and we donot get along so well. I love her but cannot live with her. Thankl you for your kind words of support
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
18 Oct 12
I wish I could find the words that convey my sympathy to you and give you some comfort in your loss.
I feel so awkward in times like this but I'm thinking of you and what you have just come through and I marvel.
Sending you a hug
and I will also light 2 candles, one for you and one for Gill.
I lost my Dad (he was 98) earlier this year. Both parents are now gone but I still have my 2 sisters and brother.
and I will also light 2 candles, one for you and one for Gill.
I lost my Dad (he was 98) earlier this year. Both parents are now gone but I still have my 2 sisters and brother.@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
19 Oct 12
I so appreciate that you will light the two candles. Light in the darkness - symbolosing hope and resurrection. I thank you so much - I am a Catholic Christian and the symbolism of candles means so much to me. Many blessings. This too will pass - one day but ot yet
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
5 Oct 12
Thank you and thank you for sticking up for me too. You are a wonderful friend
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Oct 12
I am so sorry. I know you were hoping that they could treat this. So unexpected, but I suppose it's a blessing that she didn't go through a long, drawn out, painful situation. Which doesn't change the fact that you've lost your sister, and that really hurts.
Only person I've ever lost who was close to me was my mother, and that was 8 years ago.@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Oct 12
Did something else get misdiagnosed? What happened? Do you know yet?
Yup, I still miss her.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Oct 12
Right,I know the cancer was misdiagnosed, but I was wondering about the one year prognosis. I know you can't predict these things, but that seems way off, and I was wondering if they had missed something else.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
4 Oct 12
XShe was misdiagnosed in the U.K. as they said it was a disc probem but it was cancedr and then she was in and out of 3 hospitals and despite MRI's etc the cancer was not diagnosed. Law suit but it will not bring her back
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
5 Oct 12
Bless your heart, i know how upset u must be. I have not lost anyone recently. i lost my swister in 1962 & still grieve for her till this day. I really don't have much family to lose, just an uncle who also has cancer & is not doing well at all. I have my children & their families & god forbid that i lose any of them. I have 3 first cousind, 2 i never hear from & that's about it.I'm very sorry about Gil & know that u are in my thoughts & prayers. Love & hugs.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
5 Oct 12
She was 17, getting ready to graduate from high school. I was 19. We were very close, just 18 months difference in our ages. Thank u, it was the most awful thing that has ever happened to me. That's why i said earlier to u that i was glad u had Gil as long as u did.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
5 Oct 12
Thank you dear friend. Your sister must have been so young then. That is awful. I am so sorry that this happened.
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
14 Oct 12
This makes me both sad and angry. Sad for your loss (had a few of my own recently) and angry that your sister didn't receive better care with an accurate diagnosis sooner. A friend of mine was having back pain and was told it was a pinched nerve, slipped disc and something else before he finally found out it was bone cancer. He had to leave the country to get an accurate diagnosis.
Anyone who wants to complain your discussion falls under depressing posts is selfish and needs to find another site where people only talk about fantasy, because real life comes with real problems.
I am so profoundly sorry for your loss.
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
20 Oct 12
Good luck with the lawsuit; if nothing else maybe it will force better standards of care.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
15 Oct 12
I feel terrible reading this post way too late.
And I feel terrible knowing that you cannot cry. You recently raised a discussion about 'opening the tap', and I wish this was the case because if I were in your shoes, I would also be letting go, and letting the tap go.
My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
19 Oct 12
Got back to Jamaica last night so am still suffering from jet lag. Sprry to be so long in responding. Yes - the tap was turned on full strength once I was amongst my family. Two of my children attended and I was glad that they had come as I needed them. Thank you for your kind words. I will always miss her.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
19 Oct 12
How Blessingskind of you to respond with such kind words. I will get through it - but at the present it is just so hard.
@ajlasent (536)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
I am sorry about your loss.:( losing loved ones is never an easy thing.
I lost my grandfather a year ago, also a case of misdiagnosis. he was made to drink a medicine which made his situation worse than it already was.. but a few months before that, i lost my grandmother and my first boyfriend 6 months apart..
I understand what you said about how people need to vent, and I think fellow myLot users will understand your reasons why you posted this.
I am an only child, I can only imagine the pain you are feeling but I ca say understand the feeling of loss of someone very close to you. I pray you and your family will be okay and I hope your sister finds eternal repose.
*hugs*
@ajlasent (536)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
In various cultures, it is said that the souls of people linger here for awhile before moving on.
All I can say is to hold on to the precious memories so your sister will forever be a part of you (as I know she already is.. :))
Thank you... It was hard, but life has to go on, right?
I wish you the best in life. :)
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
4 Oct 12
My deepest sympathies my dearest friend! I totally understand what you are going through as I have two wonderful sisters I would hate to lose. I haven't lost anyone for a while....and that is okay. I hope you do find the tears as they will ease the pain...
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
5 Oct 12
who cares about those who say they dont like tragic posts
they dont have to read them. 
i understand because i recently lost my dear aunt that was like a mother to me and i imagine it could be even worse if its a sister. having never had a sister i was raised with. i have also been icey chested. it took several days before i could break down and cry it out. iam so sorry for your loss. hugs, bon
they dont have to read them. i understand because i recently lost my dear aunt that was like a mother to me and i imagine it could be even worse if its a sister. having never had a sister i was raised with. i have also been icey chested. it took several days before i could break down and cry it out. iam so sorry for your loss. hugs, bon
@TheCatLady (4691)
• Israel
15 Oct 12
I can relate to loosing a beloved sister. I lost mine about 20 years ago and I still miss her. Believe me things will get better. It takes a long time, but you will survive this.
Let yourself cry. It really helps. Talk or don't talk about her as you see fit. There is no right or wrong way to go about the process of morning.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
19 Oct 12
The tears started when I saw her coffin as up to that it was unreal. Seeing the coffin made it a reality. I reached home last night so am still jet lagged. But I thank you sincerely and am sorry that you lost yur sister so many years ago. she must have been young. Blessings
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
My sincerest condolences to you. I don't know what to say, as there is nothing in the world that can be said that can comfort one in grief. If I could, I'd just give you a hug, instead. I lost my father in a car accident last March. And though I have been posting some not so depressing posts here for a while, surely every now and then, I will post a sad post to vent.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
5 Oct 12
To lose someone in a car accident would really throw me as it is so pointless and a life is thrown away. I am so sorry for you and your family that you had to experience his loss in this way. You can rant anytime my friend - this is what mylot friends do. Many blessings
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
5 Oct 12
Sorry to hear about your sister... and one does not really know what to say as it is such a time of grief. We have heard all the words before, but words cannot make the pain better. All I can do is wish you the strength to go on. Talk to God. It is comforting at a time like this.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
5 Oct 12
How kind of you to reach out toanother human being whom you do not know. I wish that I could feel something but I am just numb. Not sleeping but numb.
