I will rather listen but will not give any suggestion to avoid any arguments.
By airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
Philippines
October 5, 2012 11:40am CST
Good day Fellow Mylotters,
Here in our home, my family members usually seeks suggestions and second opinion from me. So as a result, I always do them the favor. Though there are times, it really disturbs me since they want me to be focus on their stories and topic being told. Because they are my family, so it does not matter if I will be disturb. But the matter is, every time they asked suggestions or second opinion or even recommendations from me, still, they will not accept it. Still, they will insist theirs. And this instance was not just happened once. Hence, it was happened so many times, that I could not count it with my hand fingers as well as foot fingers. As in so many, many times. I know that they are just asking and still their opinion that matters, but, due to what is happening so many times, I sometimes feel tired of giving my suggestion. And I don't want to argue as there are times, they will gonna argue with me because of the suggestion that I have made. And this thing keeps me annoyed. In this regard, perhaps, I will just listen but will not give any suggestion anymore.
13 responses
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
If that is the case, then perhaps that's the best to do- don't give any advise to avoid issues.
I am not the kind of person who gives unsolicited advise due to the same reason- issues.
I don't want to be blame after.
Sometimes, it's also disappointing when someone ask for our suggestion or insists to give our suggestion, but in the end- still they do what they think is right.
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
a pleasant day to you,
honestly, they always approach me and ask on what to do.
@WakeUpKitty (8691)
• Netherlands
7 Oct 12
Are they really asking for suggestions and secon d opinons? I doubt they do. Many people say they do but in reality they are just looking for someone who will agree with them, with what they already have in mind. They can't stand it if your opinion is not the same or you are not sharing their ideas. Also there are plenty of people who are just telling something, sharing something but are NOT waiting or asking for an opinion at all.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
Very understandable situation as I myself experienced this problems with relatives and friends as well. I guess there are people who actually think that they are asking for suggestion when in reality they just want to express something, most likely their views and opinions about a certain issue or decision, or get approval from us. Just think of it this way, at least you gave your view on it so no matter what they do or say about it it will be their problem as long long as it does not directly involve you.
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
6 Oct 12
It is strange, as I tend not to give people any advice nowadays, as in the past I have wasted my energy into trying to help them.My husband tends not to give people advice as much either.
I do not even give people suggestions in what they should try to do as it falls on deaf ears most of the time, so I tend to stay quiet and say I do not know.
@Angelpink (4031)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
You get it right , just lend them you're ears then after that you tell them that they will have to do what is right and justifiable since they are in right age to understand and decide. It is still okay to give them your piece of mind , morally your doing your obligation as a sister , now they don't listen then it is their own look out , you're no longer answerable , They will follow your suggestion or not , thats their own problem , you have done your part then that is enough.
@Rohitt03011979 (249)
• India
6 Oct 12
Hello airasheila!
Its so nice that till date you have patiently heard and suggested many problems.but if you feel that your suggestions are not valued,i think you should stop suggesting further.you have decided right.
@challs12 (548)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 12
It's not that they don't want to use your idea, it' the matter of discussing to get the best opinion to be used in decision making. I think you shouldn't give up giving opinion to your family member. It's normal to argue about opinion, it's actually not argue, but brain storming. It's also normal to have different opinion cause every person has different opinion.
You should learn to have argument like that within your family members, it's good for your speaking skills when at work and university if you will attend it. It's not easy to be able to argue with others if you cannot have an argument with family members first. In your work place, sure will have to argue with your curlicue and your superior at work line or meeting.
I think it's good for you to continue your argument about anything. Don't give up. You one day will improve your argument skill when you have lots of knowledge about discussion topic and you will have much to say.
@jenny1015 (13359)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
It could be really tiring and frustrating to go out of your way to give them the best suggestion you can think of and yet still insists on what they want. Better not say a word instead, I guess.
@ardoy0731 (7308)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
Well this is usually applicable most of the times to avoid conflicts and arguments in the end.Especially if the person you are talking with is really insisting and just believing on things that he/she wanted to say and don't open into any suggestion so it won't affect their egos.
It is better to be quiet and just listen to avoid any complications the fact thay they are not listening to other people but just their selves.
But sometimes we have to speak up too and stand for what we believe is better.Just like giving them dose of their own medicine for them to realize that other people could also help and could give better ideas and suggestions.
@toxic_lifestyle (1213)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
I agree. I used to be that kind of person who is not used in giving any opinions or suggestions. Because I don't want to put up an argument with someone. And I'm scared that I may offend their feelings and views into a topic. :)
@STOUTjodee (3670)
• United States
5 Oct 12
Maybe they are finding their own answers but just need someone who will listen. I know when I give suggestions or advice to some one and they do the exact opposite of what I tell them to do, you have to be there for them when their decision wasn't the right one. I'm like telling myself, "Told you so!"
@ikasuryani95 (346)
• Indonesia
6 Oct 12
people like that usually have know the answer for their problem in their own head.. they ask us for an opinion only to convince their answer and make sure they did not take a wrong step.. they will argue to anybody that not agree with them.. they will stop arguing you when you say "yes" to all what they ask.. let them find the answer they need by themself..
@kokomo (1866)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
In that situation of yours, I think you should speaks your mind. Confront them in a nice way that your thoughts did not recognized even once.Say your sentiments with them.It is really annoying that we are sharing our thoughts and ideas but then they will just ignore it as if we did not think for it and it is a non sense.
