Bottle Your Mind

United States
October 7, 2012 3:40pm CST
Shouting from beneath the rafters, Hey You on the rooftop.. Have you anything to say? I'm the beating heart, beneath the floorboards of indifference. Can you see the ocean from your perch? Do you spy a bottle on its surface? Tear it open if you can reach it Its a love song, I left behind. When i had an ocean view rooftop of my own. This is the rooftop, the sky is gray, and the air is thin are you beneath me? or from within? There is some good news, the tide is rising. I see your love song.. not so suprising!"
1 response
watersprite
@watersprite (168)
•
9 Oct 12
Ah free verse, I've never been completely comfortable with it, and you've written quite a challenging piece here. It's very pleasing when read, each individual phrase is carefullly constructed with beautiful choice of images and words, but I do wonder about quite what you are trying to say. Unusual, intersting, unfortunately I don't 'get it', but that's my fault not yours.