My baby sister is a grown up woman now
By micha5088
@micha5088 (554)
Malaysia
October 21, 2012 9:26am CST
My youngest sister is already in her early 20's now. She is a small built woman, very pretty, polite and likes to enjoy her time joking with friends and family members. She is still very innocent and many times I really worry about her.
Recently, she went to the city to find a job after she quit her low paying job in our hometown. I visited her, that's about 3 hours flight journey, a few days ago. I attended a short e-commerce course in the city and brought her along with me. I am actually trying to help her find safer and less demanding new ways of making a living as I do not want her to work so hard in the city.
If I have a lot of money, I will not mind giving her some monthly allowance, even buying a house at the city so that she will not get tied down to so many financial commitments. I also worry that she might mix with bad company and go out with 'bad' boyfriends. My worries for her are never unending because I love and care my youngest sister very much. I hope and pray that my baby sister who is now a grown up woman, will be able to manage well with all of the ups and downs in her life.
What about you mylotters? How do you feel when your young siblings, especially young sisters start living their 'grown-up' lives?
3 people like this
9 responses
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
22 Oct 12
I have a younger sister; when she first started her grown up life we were not really tight because of the men that we had in our lives at the time.. Granted she is a lot older now but in some ways still neive about somethings that can keep me up at night worrying about her.. Honestly you will never stop worrying about your sister..
I can understand that you want to do everything for your sister so she doesnt get hurt, the world is a hard place that can be so cruel.. But you can not live her life for her.. and the more that you try to protect her from it.. The more she can and will resent you later.. She is going to make mistakes; she may meet mister wrong.. But the most you can really do is to share your experinces, support her desicions (even if you think they are wrong) and be there to help her when she falls to help her get back up and keep moving forward.. If you block the world from her she will get mad; and stop listening to your advice, and possibly stop talking to you..
Have to remember when you were in your early 20s.. Finally an adult, dont have to listen to everyone else.. Freedom to have your own place, do what you want to do when you want to do it.. etc etc.. If you get in the way of her freedom it is only going to hurt her.. and she is going to revolt...
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
22 Oct 12
Hi sjvenden,
Thanks for all the good advises. If I have the means, I will go out all the way to help my sister have an easy life. I do feel that I am obligated to help and protect her in any way I can. This world is not a totally safe place to live in. Everyone knows that and it's getting worse as time passes.
My sister will not resent me for wanting to help her because she is just too sweet, too nice to reject her own sister's help. She is not the type who will say, "I want this...that...stay away from me, you're making my life difficult...etc etc". She will just treat you nicely, she is caring and very patient. That's why the nursing line is very suitable for her. She is a qualified trained nurse.
I hope she will be able to find a good job in a very established hospital soon. I keep my finger crossed. Thanks for responding to this discussion.
1 person likes this
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
23 Oct 12
It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your sister.. Thats Awesome!! I hope your sister finds a good job; it sounds like she will make a wonderful nurse
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
22 Oct 12
I have also my two younger brothers who are about to graduate next year.My brother next to me is in college while next to him is in high school. They already advised me that they will live with me next year for the other one will find a job here in city while the younger one will enroll for college. It is quite exciting for we will be together again after four years of being away and apart with each other.Though, I'll gonna be happier if our youngest brother and our mother will live with us so that we will be complete.But my mother refused to that suggestion. She said she is not use to live in the city and she doesn't want to leave the province.But she promised to visit us often.I just understand her and I am looking forward next year to be with my two sweet brothers.
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
22 Oct 12
It is really nice to hear siblings getting along so well. There are four sisters in my family but I get along well with my youngest sister. My other two sisters are a bit lazy, stubborn and arrogant.
Usually, old parents do not like living in the city. It is the same story with my father. My father, especially, will always think about his chicken, dogs, fruit trees, work and etc in his plantation whenever we try to lure him to go for vacations. It will just never work because he is contented with his current position.
Hope you'll get your dream come true soon (to be with your family members). All the best to you and happy lotting!
@lampar (7584)
• United States
22 Oct 12
I will be worry too if my baby sister go to work in a big city by herself, it is no question there are many bad dudes in metropolitan city that are constantly on the look out for pretty and yet innocent young women working for them in their filth business joints like strip clubs and adult stores, a rural girl bound for big city looking for a living is the perfect target for them. It is easy for an innocent girl to consider them as company if she is alone and lonely but lovely. You better make sure you keep a close eye on her before you lose it all, by that time , it will be too late even if you cry. 
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
22 Oct 12
Hi lampar,
Thanks for all the scary stories...nonetheless, what you've said are all true. I have another sister who used to look after this youngest sister when they both worked in the city but she's now in Holland with her fiancee and getting married soon. I guess, people get old and need to find someone to spend their lives with.
I hope my youngest sister will be able to meet a nice and responsible man who will eventually become her husband and will take very good care of her.
Thanks for responding.
@prashu228 (37526)
• India
21 Oct 12
ohh, this shows your love and concern for your sister. Teach her ,in a wise manner how she should be when she is far from the family. so that she remember that , and can stop herself from bad company. We all care about our siblings , but if we care too much especially at this point of time they get irritated and never listen to us.
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
22 Oct 12
Hi prashu,
Constant long distance communication with my sister is probably the key to helping her out.
It seems that she is fond of the challenging life in the city but she needs to discipline herself. The commute from the house she is renting to her workplace takes maybe like 2 hours...what is so fun about that?
Anyway, young people do not think like experienced people (like me, ehemm) so I will just have to let her learn doing and figuring things in her own ways. I hope everything turns out well for her.
Thanks for responding.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
21 Oct 12
Hi friend, good to know about your sister. Really you are a caring sister and your sister is really lucky to have you as her sibling. As you mentioned she is 20 years old now, she is having more maturity and responsibility in her life. I too have an elder sister and younger brother and have a good relationship with them
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
22 Oct 12
Hi vidhya,
My sister is past 20 years-old, she is around 22 - 23 years old (oops..I have to check first what year she was born but she's around that age).
My youngest sister is a very likable person. People most of the time like her the minute they see her. She is fun to be with, amid a bit slow in making decisions. She must learn to be a firm person. There are many 'crocodiles' and 'snakes' out there wanting to prey on young women like her. So, I always highlight on the way she dresses up.
Thanks for responding.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
21 Oct 12
Yes brothers and sisters are like kids they tend to grow up fast. Glad shes healthy and should live a happy life. Have a great day there.
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
22 Oct 12
Hi maria,
Well, now that you've said it, I just remember something...I think her health is not always good.
She has tonsil problem and is taking medication for her condition.
She is aware of her health problem, she is also a trained nurse, so I hope she knows how to handle her problem.
Thanks for responding.
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
21 Oct 12
I think it's nice that you are close to your sister and that you clearly love her very much. However, having said that, you also need to let her grow up. It's normal to want to see her living well and happy... but if you were to give her a monthly allowance or buy her a house, etc., you are not helping her. It might seem like you are but, if you really want to help her, let her become independent and learn to make a good life by herself. If you shelter her so much, she will not learn the life skills she needs to have to do well on her own. You can be encouraging and supportive and be there if she asks for your help... but please try to lose your urge to baby her. She does need to start building her life, the way she wishes it to be, and she needs to stand on her own two feet to do that 
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
22 Oct 12
Thanks thinkingoutloud.
Yes, I agree with you, you've made some great points there.
I do have the urge to 'baby' her because she is still acting and thinking very naively most of the time. How can I not worry? She sleeps easily wherever she goes...in the bus, at home, at her workplace...when you scold her, she will be quiet and soon will forget about it as she's the type that does not like to keep grudges against other people.
Sometimes I wish she can be the 'rough' type so that people are afraid of her. My youngest brother is also working in the city. So, I will remind him to look after his sister, even though she is older than him (both of them are my youngest boy and girl siblings). I hope they look after each other. That'll be good.
Thanks for responding.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
21 Oct 12
I do not have a sister, but I understand what you mean to some extent because my brother is five years younger than me and I feel the same way about him. He has just got his first girlfriend, and I keep thinking that he is too young because of the fact that he is my younger brother, even though I would always have done the same type of things when I was his age as he does now. I suppose we just have to learn to let go of them and make their own way in life, even though it might seem like an impossible thing to do at the time.
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
22 Oct 12
Hi GemmaR,
I am amused by your story. Nowadays, it is the girls who chase after the boys. I am not surprise that your brother has already got a girlfriend at a young age.
My youngest sister has had, I think, two steady boyfriends in the past. One of them wanted to get engaged but my sister felt she was too young to settle down at that time. Later, they broke off. I am not sure what happened. So, she is not really green when it comes to having a relationship with a man.
But I do hope she will meet her Mr. Right, one who will take very good care of her soon. I hope your young brother too will get a good a girlfriend who will eventually be his good wife. Thanks for responding to this discussion.
@lavanderly (11)
• Romania
23 Oct 12
Aww that is so nice :) I also have a young sister, she is 12, so I still have some time to get used to the idea that she'll grow up. I think that is an amazing feeling to see her all grown up. The funny thing is that my little sister is always telling me that I am so big and she is afraid that I will leave somewhere far for college. It is just so cute to have sisters/brothers ;) You should keep calm because she is old enough to take good care of her and she is surely going to make you proud!
