My parents 32nd Wedding Anniversary
By Paper_Doll
@Paper_Doll (2373)
Philippines
October 22, 2012 11:54am CST
My parents will be celebrating their 32nd wedding anniversary on October 29th but the problem is, my husband told me this evening that it is his aunt's wedding anniversary on Monday. His mom has told him that they are going and he wanted to go, so he is asking me to take a leave of absence at work. I didn't answer in instant as I have other plans and honestly, he knows very well that I have a strict boss so I can't just take a leave of absence especially it is a Monday and 25th is a Holiday. The best I could do is ask permission to work under time because my parents' home is about 3 hours travel from there. But the saddest part of it is I expect my husband to go with me. I stopped to think for a while then told him I can't go. It is not because I do not value her aunt but I love my parents. I was there when his parents celebrated their wedding anniversaries (they in fact celebrate it twice a year as they got married twice). I did not bother to remind him again about the said date as I have told him twice already so I felt that he doesn't care at all.
Am I wrong to decide that way? As he looks very disappointed with it.
6 responses
@1hopefulman (45111)
• Canada
22 Oct 12
Isn't there a way to do both? If not, I would surmise that parents take precedence over aunts.
Maybe your boss will give you part of the day off, if you tell him that you are willing to make up for it and give a little extra time at no charge.
Maybe you can take the aunt and husband out for supper on another occasion like the 25th and be with your parents for their anniversary. There has to be a way to minimize hurt and maximize importance. There has to be a way! Everybody needs to understand the circumstances and yield a bit. Come on everybody, cooperate a little? Please?
1 person likes this
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
Thanks for your response. Both celebrations will be on the 29th. I also suggested that that they hold the celebration on weekend like we leave home on the 25th and do the celebrations on the 26th so we can go back home on the 27th. But honestly, I really do not want to take the risk as I have already experienced many times that they would be staying there for long as they don't have regular jobs to worry about. I honestly think that they are unfair sometimes. My mother in law would always say that my husband is their only son so he can't go anywhere that is why she's always in a bad mood whenever my husband and I would go out. I think that is unfair because we're married.
@meowchie (992)
• Philippines
24 Oct 12
Wow that's a tough situation there. If I was in your place I'm of course sticking with the plan of being with my parents too.
If your parents are more important to you, perhaps his aunt is also important for him that he can't refuse on going.
I am not yet married yet, but to go on separate occasions: Could that be an option? Or attend the wedding (hope it's morning or afternoon) then decide to go to your parent's house and sleep over since it's a 3 hour drive away from your current location :/
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
23 Oct 12
It's a matter of convincing one another. You should understand each other what will be both partners decision. It happens sometimes but if you talk it seriously and find a solution so it will not hurt or disappoint anybody.
You should consider other feelings and obligations. Both are important but which among of that even you can attend. If that's you decision, your husband should understand.
You should consider other feelings and obligations. Both are important but which among of that even you can attend. If that's you decision, your husband should understand.@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
Thanks july, we've talked about it last night after I've seen the invitation for her aunt's wedding anniversary. I repeated myself and told him it is my parents' wedding anniversary as well. I suggested that he goes to her aunt's, and I would go to my parents'. But he doesn't want that. This morning I talked to him not to relay things to her mom yet as we have not decided yet. Tomorrow is a Holiday so we'll have time to sit and talk about this.
@lologirl2021 (5541)
• United States
22 Oct 12
Well maybe he should go with his parents to his aunts wedding anniversary and maybe you should go to your parents wedding anniversary. I believe they are both on different dates so i dont understand what the problem is at all. If you cant go to both you both should think about going to your parents its not his parents anniversary just an Aunt and i understand family is family and its a close family time to be with each other but maybe you should send a gift and a card to her and let it be. I know its hard to decide but i think parents should always come first no choice about that at all.
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
22 Oct 12
you are not wrong , i feel. of course you have every right to attend your parents anniversary and your husband should understand this. Attending your parents is more important than his aunt. But you should make him understand in a soft and good manner.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
Thanks for sharing prashu, I hope that they won't use this against me. I do expect my husband to understand as I have been giving his family much time for the past months. I attend every of their gatherings. I hope he spare this time as this is my parents special day.
@BethelSophia (538)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
As a girl your decision is just fair. You've already done your part so let him do his part. It's your parent's anniversary but in your husband's case is aunt. Though aunt is important but parents are more important. I hope both of you can decide it well. It would be best if both of you can attend but if not, then just follow what you've decided.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
23 Oct 12
Thanks so much Sophia, that really made me feel at peace.
